1.
“My
wife is more important than the house being messy. I will shut up and start
helping out.”[i]
2.
“I
will no longer criticize my wife about how she uses her time. It’s her life to
live.”
3.
“I
am grateful for a wife who cares about our kids. I will thank her, encourage
her, and never allow myself to think I’m unimportant to her.”
4.
“I
recognize my wife was her mom’s daughter before she was my wife. She has a
right and a responsibility to be a good adult daughter and to honor her
mother.”
5.
“I
will never again complain about the food in our house. Instead, I will offer to
stop by the store and bring whatever she needs without complaint.”
6.
“I
will never criticize my wife for her desire to be just with me versus going out
with friends. I will thank her and pour myself into loving her when we’re
together.”
7.
“I
recognize that my wife gets tired. I will drop all my demands and make space
for her to rest and I will not take it personally.”
8.
“I
acknowledge it’s difficult to identify, screen, and coordinate schedules with
babysitters. I will not criticize her nor take her efforts for granted.”
9.
“I
will look for the good in my wife’s appearance. If I can’t say something nice,
I will keep my mouth shut.”
10.
“I
will never again comment on my wife’s weight. That is off-limits to me forever. I will love and
accept her regardless. It is none of my business.”
12.
“I
will never again bring up my wife’s performance in earlier parts of her life.
For example, I will never talk about how she used to like to dance or anything
of that nature.”
13.
“I
will stop talking about sex. I will make no other comments, jokes, sidebars, or
criticisms about the frequency, quality, or any other dimension of our sex
life. I will love her and we will enjoy sex only when she is clearly in favor of it. I
will put her first, be grateful for what comes my way, and be content.”
14.
“I
recognize that my family of origin is just that—my family.
I will drop my expectations for my wife to engage with my family. I hope she
does, but I will not require it of her.”
15.
“I
will go through a complete review of our finances. I will make sure she fully
understands our income, our budgeted expenses, and our saving and giving
commitments. And I will never again criticize her regarding money.”[iii]
The Joyful Husband Promise (for 2017)
1. I will make an exclusive, life-long commitment to my
husband. “I love you with all my heart. There will never be anyone else. I am
yours for the rest of our lives, and I’m never going away…”
2. I will think before I speak. Men aren’t known for listening
well, but they hear everything you say when it’s about their failures,
shortcomings, or shame. Touching those nerves creates defensiveness or anger
which gets internalized and pent up. Nothing good comes from that.
3. I will brag on him once a day. Husbands don’t usually get a
lot of positive feedback at work . . . or anywhere for that matter. When his
wife says good things about him – especially in front of other people, it warms
his soul.
4. I will not spend in excess or in secret. In most marriages,
money is an issue… So when there isn’t enough money, men feel shame…They [feel
like they] don’t measure up. Being on the same page about money…is huge for
your husband and for your marriage.
5. I will give my husband some guilt-free freedom…A wife who
sets…[him] free once in a while is smart. “Hey, you’ve been working so hard.
Why don’t you take Saturday and do just what you want to do…
6. I will ask my husband to pray for me. Whether it’s out loud
or silent, husbands feel honored and respected when their wives ask them to pray
for them about stuff that matters…
7. I will initiate sex once per month. Every man wants to
believe he’s good in bed and that he satisfies his wife. If every now and then,
a wife will flirt with her husband, let him know she wants him and that he more
than measures up, he’s affirmed at a deep, deep level.
8. I will pray for my husband. When a wife prays for her
husband thoughtfully and regularly, God often raises her sensitivity to his
world – to what’s going on with him. She’ll be softer and more supportive.[iv]
9. I will resist telling my husband how to do things…Believe it
or not, most of us like to do things for our wives, but telling us how to do it
takes a lot of the fun out. Make suggestions but avoid [a] prescription.
10.
I will not nag. Proverbs 27:15 (NIVUK) says “A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a
leaky roof in a rainstorm;”
Ask your husband how he’d like you to remind him of things he forgets. Then
communicate with him the way he wants you to. It’ll work way better than
nagging.
11.
I will let go of unimportant things.
If your husband doesn’t get a detail right when he’s telling a story, let it
go. Don’t correct (and embarrass) him…Be thoughtful and don’t let little things
ruin the atmosphere of your relationship.[v]
[i] This happy wife pledge is dedicated to my former
youth director, Roger Miracle, who lives this with his wife, Kim. He is a great
example for me.
[ii] “Husbands, go all out in your love for your
wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not
getting.” Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
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