Bury the Hatchet

“Forgiving is an affair strictly between a victim[i] and a victimizer. Everyone else should step aside...The worst wounds I ever felt were the ones people gave to my children. Wrong my kids [and] you wrong me…My hurt qualifies me to forgive you[ii]…Only for the pain you caused me when you wounded them. My children alone are qualified to forgive you for what you did to them. [iii]

This is the story of [Renee and Eric], and the forgiveness, grace, and repentance that grew out of drunk driving tragedy in Florida…2002. [Renee’s] daughter [Meagan] and her best friend [Lisa] were killed right before Mother’s Day. [Eric] was responsible for their deaths.

In time Eric repented, and [both] families forgave and [became friends with Eric]. Eventually [both families went before the Florida legal system to ask that his sentence be reduced. Today [Eric and Renee’s families] remain close, and they travel in the country and speak of the dangers of intoxicated driving…”[iv]

There should be no end to how many times you forgive others (as well as yourself):

ü “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”[v] 

ü  “If you learn how to forgive others for not being strong then people can learn how to forgive you for your own issues.” [vi]

ü “Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. “[vii]

Because of what God has done for all of us, we should forgive others:

ü "Forgive us for the wrong things we have done, the way we forgive those who have done wrong things to us.”[viii]

ü “Vengeance is having a videotape planted in your soul that cannot be turned off. It plays the painful scene over and over again inside your mind...And each time it plays you feel the clap of pain again...Forgiving turns off the videotape of pained memory Forgiving sets you free.”    [ix]   

 Because of what God has done for all of us, we should not be imprisoned with the fury of unforgiveness:

ü “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”[x]

ü “Make sure that no one misses out on God’s grace. Make sure that no root of bitterness grows up that might cause trouble and pollute many people.”[xi]

ü “The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”[xii]

Forgiveness can only happen through God’s grace. It needs to be approached by both parties involved with as little aggression as possible. God’s assistance in reconciling should be valued above repayment (for wrongs). The end goal for any altercation is for both parties to make a choice to love from the heart.

ü “Unforgiveness is choosing to stay trapped in a jail cell of bitterness, serving time for someone else’s crime.”[xiii]

ü “Do not be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, then forgive him. Forgive each other because the Lord forgave you.”[xiv]

ü “The God who has the whole world in His hands has grace for the whole world in His heart.”[xv]

The song “Forgiveness” by Matthew West delves into every aspect of this topic perfectly. Read the abridged lyrics below, and (if needed) make happen what you feel must be done.

It's the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today
It always goes to those who don't deserve
It's the opposite of how you feel
When they pain they caused is just too real
Takes everything you have to say the word

Forgiveness, forgiveness

It flies in the face of all your pride
It moves away the mad inside
It's always anger's own worst enemy
Even when the jury and the judge
Say you've got a right to hold a grudge
It's the whisper in your ear saying set it free

Forgiveness, forgiveness

Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness

It'll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what its power can do
So let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you

Forgiveness, forgiveness

I want finally set it free
Show me how to see what your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me
Forgiveness, forgiveness

 

 

Renee and Eric

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[i] The term “bury the hatchet” means to forgive your differences with an enemy, and move on. The phrase is an allusion to the literal practice of putting away the tomahawk at the cessation of hostilities by Native Americans in the Eastern United States. Hatchets were buried by the chiefs of tribes when they came to a peace agreement.

[ii] Inspired by the sermon The Prison of Unforgiveness: Sharing Freedom (installment two) Dave Jansen Sunday, January 15, 2017, CenterPoint Church Gahanna  Gahanna, OH

 

[iii] Quote by Lewis B. Smedes

 

[iv] Adapted from the article, “Renee Napier and Eric Smallridge: An Incredible Story of Grace, Forgiveness and Repentance in Florida” (wonderingeagle.wordpress.com) For more details on this store, please see the article, “A Story of Pain, Redemption and Forgiveness in Wake of Horrific DUI Crash” by Jessica Lipscomb (archive.naplesnews.com)

 

[v] Quote by C.S. Lewis

 

[vi] Quote by T. D. Jakes

[vii] 1 Corinthians 13:5 (ERV).

 

[viii] Matthew 6:12(New Testament) (WE)

 

[ix]Quote by Lewis B. Smedes

 

[x] Quote by Marianne Williamson
 

[xi] Hebrews 12:15 (CEB)

 

[xii] Quote by an unknown author

 

[xiii]Quote from www.livelifehappy.com

 

[xiv] Colossians 3:13 (ICB)

 

[xv] Quote by Lewis B. Smedes