The initial reaction of the victim is to pull
the fingers outward, but this
only tightens the puzzle. The
way to escape is to push the fingers toward the middle, which enlarges the
openings and frees the victim. [ii](See picture below)
Courage is about learning how to function despite
the fear, to put aside your instincts to run or give in completely to the anger
born from fear. Courage is about using your brain, and your heart when every
cell of your body is screaming at your to fight
or flee…Then following through on what you believe is the right thing to
do.” [iv]
How steps do the scripture say we should take to handle the conflicts in our life? (Follow the method below in the order given.)
How steps do the scripture say we should take to handle the conflicts in our life? (Follow the method below in the order given.)
1.
If at all possible, overlook the
offense.
“We should be too big
to take offense and too noble to give it”.[vi]
2.
If
it is required, one-on-one communication may be necessary (several times)
“Now if your brother sins against you, go and
show him his fault while you’re with him alone. If he listens to you, you have
won your brother.”[vii]
These steps may help:
· Pray
for grace (on both sides) in this encounter.
· Plan
your words. Choose the right time (and place).
· Assume
the best of the other individual until facts prove otherwise.
· Approach
the conversation with gentleness (and a listening ear).
“A word of truth can
mobilize two peoples looking for the road to reconciliation.”[viii]
3.
If
the first two steps do not work, proceed further with objective mediation.
“But if he does not listen to you, take one
or two others with you to talk to him. Then two or three people will hear every
word and can prove what was said.”[ix]
“In the middle of
every difficulty lies opportunity.”[x]
4.
If
the issue is not resolved at the previous level, proceed on to obeyed
arbitration.
“So if you have complaints about things in
this life, why do you take them to those who are not church people?”[xi]
“If necessity is the
mother of invention, conflict is its father.”[xii]
5.
After
you have tried all of the above, separation from that individual is your last
resort.
“If he still refuses to listen, then [you
must] take your case to the church, and
if the church’s verdict favors you, but he won’t accept it, then the church
should excommunicate him.”[xiii]
“Other people do not
have to change for us to experience peace of mind.[xiv]
Don’t
be afraid to stand tall in your truth. Boldly and confidently face everything
that has (and is) keeping you bound. Fight for your inner peace. Fight for your
happiness. Fight for everything and everybody that’s important to you.
You
are not a victim. Don’t even play into that. You owe it to yourself to live.
Live your life without the regrets; without the resentments; without the unforgiveness; without the blame game;
without the self-pity; without any and everything that keeps you from
experiencing true joy within.
You
are too important to waste your life away. Learn to appreciate and value your
life, (but most importantly) learn to appreciate and value yourself. You count
too (no matter what you’ve done).”[xv]
 |
| Chinese Finger Trap |
[i] This post was inspired by the sermon, The Prison of Unforgiveness: Preserving
Freedom (installment three, final) Pastor Dave Jansen Sunday,
January 22, 2017 CenterPoint Church Gahanna Gahanna OH
[ii] The tile for this post is adapted taken from the quote by Debbie
McDaniel:
“The most significant,
important gifts in life are always worth fighting for. And they often
come with a great price. They
are not free. Somewhere along the way, someone paid dearly for the
liberties we enjoy so freely today. But often, we forget.
It’s easy to take them for granted. We enjoy freedom, but most of
us alive today, have always had it. We may not even be fully aware of
just how many men and women have paid dearly for the gifts we enjoy today.
The price was paid through many long years.” Close relationships are
worth fighting for. Let’s all swallow our pride, and do what’s best interest for
everyone involved.
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