Encourage Me: A Great Price

A Chinese finger trap is a gag toy used to play a joke on a gullible person. The finger trap is a simple puzzle that traps the victim's index fingers in both ends of a small cylinder woven from bamboo. [i]

The initial reaction of the victim is to pull the fingers outward, but this only tightens the puzzle. The way to escape is to push the fingers toward the middle, which enlarges the openings and frees the victim. [ii](See picture below)

The above illustration is a lot like one’s life. It’s easy to get stuck in our bad habits, but only the Heavenly Father can aid us into making permanent change that frees us (to be all He wants us to be). “But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.[iii]

Courage is about learning how to function despite the fear, to put aside your instincts to run or give in completely to the anger born from fear. Courage is about using your brain, and your heart when every cell of your body is screaming at your to fight or flee…Then following through on what you believe is the right thing to do.” [iv]

How steps do the scripture say we should take to handle the conflicts in our life? (Follow the method below in the order given.)

1. If at all possible, overlook the offense.

“A person with discretion is not easily angered; he gains respect by overlooking an offense.”[v]

“We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it”.[vi]

2. If it is required, one-on-one communication may be necessary (several times)

“Now if your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault while you’re with him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother.”[vii]

These steps may help:

· Pray for grace (on both sides) in this encounter.

· Plan your words. Choose the right time (and place).

· Assume the best of the other individual until facts prove otherwise.

· Approach the conversation with gentleness (and a listening ear).

“A word of truth can mobilize two peoples looking for the road to reconciliation.”[viii]

3. If the first two steps do not work, proceed further with objective mediation.

“But if he does not listen to you, take one or two others with you to talk to him. Then two or three people will hear every word and can prove what was said.”[ix]

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”[x]

4. If the issue is not resolved at the previous level, proceed on to obeyed arbitration.

“So if you have complaints about things in this life, why do you take them to those who are not church people?”[xi]

“If necessity is the mother of invention, conflict is its father.”[xii]

5. After you have tried all of the above, separation from that individual is your last resort.

“If he still refuses to listen, then [you must] take your case to the church, and if the church’s verdict favors you, but he won’t accept it, then the church should excommunicate him.”[xiii]

“Other people do not have to change for us to experience peace of mind.[xiv]

Don’t be afraid to stand tall in your truth. Boldly and confidently face everything that has (and is) keeping you bound. Fight for your inner peace. Fight for your happiness. Fight for everything and everybody that’s important to you.

You are not a victim. Don’t even play into that. You owe it to yourself to live. Live your life without the regrets; without the resentments; without the unforgiveness; without the blame game; without the self-pity; without any and everything that keeps you from experiencing true joy within.

You are too important to waste your life away. Learn to appreciate and value your life, (but most importantly) learn to appreciate and value yourself. You count too (no matter what you’ve done).”[xv]

Chinese Finger Trap

[i] This post was inspired by the sermon, The Prison of Unforgiveness: Preserving Freedom (installment three, final) Pastor Dave Jansen Sunday, January 22, 2017 CenterPoint Church Gahanna Gahanna OH

[ii] The tile for this post is adapted taken from the quote by Debbie McDaniel:

“The most significant, important gifts in life are always worth fighting for. And they often come with a great price. They are not free. Somewhere along the way, someone paid dearly for the liberties we enjoy so freely today. But often, we forget.

It’s easy to take them for granted. We enjoy freedom, but most of us alive today, have always had it. We may not even be fully aware of just how many men and women have paid dearly for the gifts we enjoy today. The price was paid through many long years.” Close relationships are worth fighting for. Let’s all swallow our pride, and do what’s best interest for everyone involved.