Wednesday, December 21, 2016

His Mind’s Eye

Dear Pornography,

I never personally knew you. It was my husband who introduced us first in a fitness magazine, [and] then in the rejection of my touch. I always smelled your stench. My own hands released the buttons of my wedding gown. [This was] an occasion meant for the fingers of my groom.[i]

That hotel pillow was not fluffed enough to carry the weight of my tears. With skewed intimacy as your weapon, you robbed us of connection. My husband [was] a perfect victim [as] an involuntary organ donor. You extracted his heart before raping the beauty of our sex. [Your] claim... was consensual.

Yet your memories often tainted the [sacredness] of our sheets. Much like the photos that polluted the memory of his phone; his eyelids had been branded. Visions of you are what he saw. Your silhouette [is] between us. Two souls God designed to be one; more detached than ever before.

You were number three. The woman on the side yet you lived inside our home. Call it a silent affair; a quiet addiction whose dealer is mobile, his crack house inside your pocket. Pornography, your business is booming. 40 million Americans devoted to you. You yield more revenue than the [National Basketball Association-NBA, Major League Baseball-MLB, and National Football League-NFL] combined.[ii]
Yet we don’t attribute it to sex slavery. We say “It’s only done online.” So 50% of marriages are breaking while [movies like] Fifty Shades of Grey [are] breaking box office records. While little boys are taught that your affects are natural, recreational; you are not [an] Xbox [Live Gaming unit]. You get them while they’re young.

I worry for my future son. [They will be] defenseless consumers whose innocence you [will] breach. [You unlock] doors of their minds too narrow to be opened; my husband was one of them. He met you at twelve. He’s now one of 200,000…men, led by…brothers and peers, [that go] on expeditions [for shameful] images through [porn hubs] and smart phones.

[You are] an encourager of secrets [that] often [hides] in the dark. [You are] a monster under beds, [but] only your snarl goes unheard. Pornography, you’ve taught me I’m not beautiful (unless I am [pornography])…You are a war, and men are your casualty. Naked women on screens [are] now gunshots to my ears. I am your veteran.

I thought prayer would act as [an] antidote to his illness...
The fine print never told him that your side effects are lethal. [It is a] silent killer of relationships. Your fingerprints were found on the body bag of our marriage. Pornography, I always knew I smelled your stench. It still lingers through the hallways of my heart.

Sincerely,
Jennifer[iii]
 
 

“It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with an arguing woman.”[iv] Possibly the reason this woman (today) might be so angry is because of how she just unloaded her feelings of disappointment (and hurt) above regarding her husband’s actions.



[i] The phrase "mind's eye" refers to the human ability to visualize, i.e., to experience visual mental imagery; in other words, one's ability to "see" things with the mind.
 
[ii] Note: We [XXXChurch] received this letter… We thought this was great and wanted to share it with all of you. Hopefully this will help those of you who are either struggling with a porn addiction or married to a person who is. 
 
[iii] Adapted from the article, “An Open Letter to Pornography” by X3 on September 29th, 2016 (www.xxxchurch.com)
 
[iv] Proverbs 25:24 (NLV)

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