Monday, October 24, 2016

Voiceless Reminders (from a Pet)

              1. Be aware however you treat me; I will never forget it.

2.   Before you hit me, remember that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

3.    Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself whether something might be bothering me. Perhaps I am not getting the right food. I have been out in the sun too long, or my heart may be getting old and weak.

4.   Don’t be angry with me for long. You have work, your friends, and your entertainment; I have only you.

5.    Give me time to understand what you want me to do.

6.   Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, “I can’t bear to watch it” or, “Let it happen in my absence.” Everything is easier for me when you are there. Remember, I love you.

7.    My life is likely to last [ten to fifteen] years. Any separation from you will be painful.

8.   Place your trust in me; it is crucial for my well-being.

9.    Take care of me when I get old. You too, will grow old.

10.      Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your [words], I understand [the tone of your voice].[i]


A Little Animal Humor
·       Rhonda: My uncle owns some talking animals. He even has a talking crow.
Rosalyn: Yes, but does he own a spelling bee?

·       Rhonda: Hey, look at that dog chasing his tail.
Rosalyn: Poor little doggie, he’s having trouble trying to make ends meet.

·       Rhonda: What’s your cat’s name?
Rosalyn: Ben [Her]
·       Rhonda: Why did you name it that?
Rosalyn: Well, we named it Ben until it had kittens.

·       Rhonda: Animals are smarter than humans. Put twenty horses in a race, and thousands of people will go see it.
Rosalyn: But you put twenty people in a race, and not once horse would go to see it.

·       Rhonda: Do fish perspire?
Rosalyn: Of course, what do you think makes the sea so salty?

·       Rhonda: My parrot is over a hundred years old.
Rosalyn: He looks very green for his age.[ii]



[i] Adapted from “Ten Commandments for Pet Ownership” by Stan Rawlinson

[ii] All jokes are adapted from the book, The Big Book of Jokes & Riddles,  “Animal Antics” chapter

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