Silence Is Golden

Last night (Friday, 7/15/16), I unloaded some long standing angry emotions on my adult daughter that I had been harboring for some time. As her inappropriate, immature fifty something father, I felt the best way to make my irritation known was via text (while she was at work).

Later that evening, my highly agitated wife brought up some valid points about the error of my method (though she does agree with some of my points). Her visit with our daughter while she was at her work for computer training proved her disappointment with my behavior as a mother.

She reminded me of all the people I’d hurt in the past when I’d chose to make my rage known via text. (Not always my best way to communicate when I’m upset.) How could my highly emotional daughter possibly concentrate on her paid job when I was probably upsetting her? (Does a good dad do that kind of thing?)

What kind of man was I to add my own flesh and blood to my growing casualty list? (Having strong writing abilities, unfortunately I know how to use written communication effectively to hurt.)

I haven’t quite worked up the courage to apologize yet because I somewhat meant what I said, but not in the angry manner (or way) I chose to transfer it in.

I sometimes have problems apologizing to my immediate family because I mess up a lot. (I’m embarrasses. Will they forgive me once again?) Remember, nobody’s perfect not even your friendly Weblog Encourager.

James 3:5-10 (MSG) makes this accurate observation about the tongue (mouth). “A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but can accomplish nearly anything – or destroy it…By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke, and go up in  smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

This is scary: you can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue – it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues, we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women He made in His image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on.”

When I was a much younger man, I was a gospel soloist (another talent of mine) at many of the churches I attended. I used accompany cassettes (or CD’s) that provided inexpensive professional background music for the songs I performed.

It was much more convenient and easier to practice this way multiple times with a variety of musical devices than arranging piano practice time at a church.

One song that always put me under deep conviction every time I sang it was “Quiet Please” (by Brent Lamb). I’m including the full lyrics below for your self-introspection as this post quickly comes to an end.  (I can’t forget them all these years later.) Where do you stand on the issues this song sheds light on?

Verse One

With words you can build mountains in just a moment’s time

That takes years to tear down and even longer to climb.

Words that separate; they condemn and criticize.

And even the best of friends are sometimes jeopardized.

Chorus

Quiet please, too much has already been said.

For sometimes through the silence big problems become small.

If you can’t find something good to say,

Say nothing at all.

Verse Two

When you heard the latest rumor (the talk of the town),

Did you strive to defend, or did you help to tear down?

Secrets that were shared; but were meant to be kept.

Don’t say things in a crowd that later you’ll regret.

Chorus (Twice)