My Family Tree

My dad, Robert Eugene, was born on September 8, 1935 to parents, Stella Young and Robert Lee, in Smith Creek, KY. My paternal grandmother eventually separated from Robert Lee (for reasons unknown to me) while he was away serving our country in the military.

She (and my dad) moved to Minford, OH, to live with her family where she was eventually employed as a maid for the widower Clarence Kinker (and his large family). It was just a matter of time before the two fell in love, and married.

At the age of 18, my dad served in the Marines for eight years. He received his training at Parris Island, SC. He fought in the Korean War.  After his military time, dad fell in love with my mother, Janice Lou Eagle. At the time of their marriage on June 12, 1960, mom was nineteen and my dad was twenty-four.

A humorous experience my mother recalls during her wedding ceremony involves the smell of fish, which assaulted her nose frequently throughout her marital nuptials.

It was later discovered the shirt my dad was wearing had been packed with fish before he had gotten it for his big day. My parents began their new life together in Columbus, OH, with a modest new home filled with all new furniture, a love gift from my dad to my mother. 

Three children were born to mom and dad. I (Robert) was first. Next came my sister, Kimberly (Kim), and last was my brother James (Jimmy).

We were charter members of a Baptist church in Columbus, OH. My dad was co-owner of a barbershop in Bexley, OH. My dad enjoyed golfing. He occasionally volunteered his hair cutting services to clients in nursing homes (that had no way to get to him).

Our home was always full of antique clocks (and pocket watches) dad collected and restored back to their original working condition. (The sound of ticking clocks became unnoticeable to us all after awhile in our Bexley home.)

Life drastically changed for my family when my forty-two year-old dad was killed in a car accident on his way to an auction. My thirty-seven year-old mother supported me and my siblings (me-14, Kim-13, and Jim-11) as a school bus driver.

My dad had many admirable qualities that I hope to emulate throughout my life, and pass on to my daughter. He was wonderful provider for our family. He found his greatest purpose in life serving others. He was a perfectionist with his appearance (and his home) which were both important to him.

His magnetic personality caused him to emotionally connect with others easily. From what I remember, he smiled and laughed a great deal. As a family we went on memorable family vacations. (Many included my paternal grandparents.) My dad had opinions about almost everything. He could be very passionate about them with my mother.

I don’t remember my dad and me having the best of relationships. Though I knew he loved me (in his own unique way), I really didn’t pay much attention to him until He was no longer there.

As a man in my fifties, I now better understand now some of the feelings and frustrations he had to feel as a family man. Today, there are so many questions I wish I’d asked him (as a teenager) about his family history, the proper way to grow into manhood, and personal things like his likes and dislikes.

I assume he would have loved the spouses both me and my sister chose. I believe being a grandfather would have been one of his greatest joys in life. Would my dad have seen his rugged determination in the way I handled our eight miscarriages, the deaths of both my brother and stepfather, and my cancer (Lymphoma)? I hope he would have been pleased.

For some of you, I Thessalonians 2:11 may be the childhood you wished had, but the reality is that it may not have happened this way. “With each of you we were like a dad with his child, holding your hand, whispering encouragement, showing you step-by-step how to live well before God.”

Can I ask of favor of you if you have a father that is still alive? My opportunity for a face-to-face conversation with my dad has passed. (Speaking for both my sister and me, we wish a dad chat were possible.) If forgiveness needs to be given out to someone who doesn’t deserve it, give yourself the gift of emotional freedom. NOW! There is so much knowledge about your family and life in general that can be imparted from your father (if he’s open to this).

No matter what your relationship is with your dad a sincere “I love you” tends to melt the hardest heart and open up doors of communication.

One day you will find yourself taking on many of your dad’s traits? Why not get a head start in understanding how you got them from the originator of those habits?

Dad as a boy