Encourage Me: From Average to Awesome

There’s a plaque (in our kitchen) that sits just above a shelf that holds our purchase receipts and house keys. I smile when I take time to look at it because of the memories it brings to mind.

It was purchased at the Bob Evans Restaurant (close to my sister’s home) by my mother for my stepfather as a practical joke at the conclusion of our meal together with my mom, wife, sister, and me. (I love the times that we get to share a family meal together.)

Mom can’t remember the reaction Robert had to this surprise gift, but I’m sure they both had a good laugh and a hug. It was true that before Robert Zarbaugh got seriously ill and died of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). He was the couple’s housekeeper. (See the Zarbaugh’s wedding photo with my siblings present below.)

The plaque hung in my mom’s Groveport kitchen (by her stove) until several years after Robert’s passing in 2011. When one day I jokingly told my mother she should give me the plaque. She did that, and now it resides in my home.

It says, “Honey Do List – 1. Clean 2. Laundry 3. Cook – You Bee the One to Choose.” Since there is a hive in one corner with two bees, the word “be” is misspelled “bee” appropriately. (See a picture of the plaque below.)

Ephesians 5:25 (MSG) reminds men “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving not getting.” Many times husbands (and the church in general) want hammer into the head of women how much they need to submit to their husbands as shown in Colossians 3:18 and Ephesians 5:22.

Sometimes husbands don’t make it easy for a Christian wife to submit (due to their awful behavior). My late stepfather was no saint, but I knew he was willing to do whatever needed to be done to make mom happy. I think men have the greater responsibility in how we treat our wives. Imitating Jesus is a tall order to meet.

Where Bobbi is concerned, there are many times I act like a spawn of Lucifer instead of a beloved child of God in my wife life skills. There is no husband reading this that cannot improve on their relationship with their spouse. They are daughters of the King. We should treat them accordingly.

Now I am no marriage counselor, but I believe the love one has for their spouse may diminish at times, but it never goes away. Excluding biblical (and extreme) rationale, I am an optimist in believing most marriages can (and should be) saved. It depends how hard two people wish try to achieve that end goal. (It’s grueling, and definitely not easy.)

If you have a happy, long marriage and do not need this advice, please move on. You fell in love with your spouse for specific reasons. Remember them now. There is a wide range of marriage books to read or marriage enhancement events to participate in that may assist you both in becoming “one” as a man and woman. (Genesis 2:24)

The most important point to remember in this post is John 13:34. “…Love one another. In the same way I loved you. You love one another.” God requires us to unselfishly love our mate. We aren’t always going to get it right. (Remember that no one is perfect.)

The times that we do get it correct are wonderful, and can encourage us beyond our wildest expectations. Doesn’t that sound much better than the alternative of trying to manage your marital union in your own strength?

God is just a prayer away 24/7. Give Him a chance with whatever your marriage needs. Believe that He loves both of you and wants to help your relationship go from average to awesome.