Thursday, March 24, 2016

The War Room

From 8 to 10 pm on Sunday, March 20, 2016, my family viewed Tyler Perry’s The Passion, which dealt with the events leading up to Jesus’ death and resurrection. The outdoor drama (done in New Orleans, LA) was updated to our world today with a variety of popular contemporary music that was adapted to fit this spiritual theme. (Musical artist like Trisha Yearwood and Yolanda Adams were part of this production.)

The spiritual (and emotional) narration of The Passion was also expertly vocalized by Tyler Perry. To add to the unique entertainment value of this production, there was also a crowd of people carrying a large lit white cross being carried to the stage of The Passion, replaces the crucifixion scene.

One of the first commercials to play advertised the upcoming Easter services of a church we’d visited on the eastside of Columbus, OH. Bobbi smiled and relayed her memories of a visit to the church on a Friday in October almost twenty years ago.

We had driven two cars to attend the church’s production on the subject of “hell.” (I felt this was an appropriate topic for the Halloween season.) We had found two strangers on Craig’s List to sale our one of our cars to.

At that moment, we were already late for a production (I thought) sounded very interesting. Bobbi could handle this issue. I left just as I had at another time in our marriage (see Cake Problems).

My wife had to be shocked (but not surprised) I’d left her with two male strangers in a parking lot she was unfamiliar with to take care of unloading a financial burden both of us were responsible for. (Bobbi had to be feeling unsafe and unloved at that moment by the husband that had vowed for her never to have to experience those emotions.)

I did not enjoy reliving this negative memory where I came out looking rather selfish (and uncaring). Though that may have been the reality of the situation, I saw no purpose in my wife (life partner) reminding me of it.  To Bobbi, the retelling of this minor event in our life as a couple was humorous, and worth retelling.


What followed as The Passion remained on hold was as an argument between husband and wife where loud untrue accusations were made. (Both of us were raising our emotional walls to protect us from the other.) In the end no one came out a winner.

Once again, our daughter had become numb to seeing the two people (who she loved the most) verbally tearing each other apart. (Of our three Chihuahuas) at the first sound of screaming, Lola would try to protect herself by running to hide, tinkle somewhere, or both.


I would like to admit I had just cause to feel as I did, but in the end does it really matter in the long scope of my life about being right about something I did in the past that I can’t change. Let me answer for you, “No, it does not.” Even though I don’t always show it, my wife will always continue to mean the world to me (no matter what mood I’m in).


Ephesians 5:25, 28 (MSG) gives me clear direction on responding to my wife. “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting…[When husbands love their wives, they’re] really doing themselves a favor-since they’re already ‘one’ in marriage.”


I really wish I didn’t need the above reminder from my loving Heavenly Father, but that prompt needs to run through my brain on a regular basis.

Bobbi was God’s daughter long before she became my wife (or Allena’s mother). He loves her, and only wants the best for her in every area of her life.  If you have a wonderful spouse (or someone else special in your life), would you do me a favor (whether you feel it makes sense or not)?


Would you give someone (you cherish) a sincere hug, kiss, or both (with no expectations in return)? Take just a moment to tell them all the reasons you love (and are devoted to) them. Try being their encourager (forever).  You will be glad you did.

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