Wonderful Me

A guy friend of mine from my Thursday morning men’s group (that meets at Tim Horton’s) had a rather humorous phrase on his gray t-shirt. The words of this slogan were in white with one of them underlined and in sky blue. (That word began with an “a.”) The garment had been a purchase (or was it a gift) from his wife.

On the surface, “This is what awesome looks like” seems like an innocent catch phrase from an imaginative writer. Though I am all for healthy self-esteem, is it right when it’s happening through coercion from another individual? Proverbs 27:2 (NLT) advises, “Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth-a stranger, not your own lips.”

This is a reoccurring topic for me that I (and others) personally struggle with (see The Show Off, Neverending Praise, and Nauseating). What about the spouse that is constantly pointing out all the good things they do for their significant other? Do you know a co-worker that dresses (or presents their self) in a particular way just so they can point out their merits (or originality) to all those within hearing range?

You probably have a relative somewhere in your family tree that seems to be in a constant state of negativity. Whether through Facebook (or other means of electronic connection), they are constantly seeking (with their words or actions) for verbal affirmation of their worth (or correctness).

Self praise makes you unsure of whom you really are. Someone else (other than me) is needed to affirm that. In the long run, it’s exhausting to be seeking others to constantly stroke your uncertain ego.

Overuse of self praise will make you unattractive (and lonely) to others as they seek to avoid you at all costs. How much better is it to receive a genuine complement (rather than one you’ve manipulated someone for)?

This post may seem to be a bit harsh. I really do care about (whoever might be reading this). Do you wish to have lasting friendships? Why not find someone that shares a commonality with you (Proverbs 18:24)?

Be honest with yourself. Deal with those self issues that are road blocks to becoming more intimately connected to those around you. If you are still absolutely clueless as to why you have issues keeping close associations, seek out the advice of a trusted honest person (or get professional help).

If everything I’ve stated above fails you, I would highly advise you seek out God (or someone close to Him). His track record is flawless. He always brings the correct answer at the right time. Just be on the lookout for it. Let Him affirm your worth as His much-loved child (I John 3:1).