Total Recall

“If you had to choose, would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?”* One of my greatest fears in life is that one day in an advanced age I will get the brain disease known as Alzheimer’s, which causes loss of memory and mental abilities.

Whether my poor memory is due to the brain surgery used to detect my cancer in 2009 or having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), unless an event is extremely important I have difficulty recalling events that happened the same day, yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, or even years ago.

Part of the reason I blog is to have a record to read later about myself if one day Alzheimer’s should become a reality. I’ve been tested several times for this disease, and at this time there is no indication that my brain will ever deal with this eventual conclusion.

Neurological testing (due to the brain surgery) has noted what I would consider minor issues, but nothing to be overly concerned about at the current time. (At both tests, I was given five words and asked to recall them later. Though this was needed, it turned out to be frustrating and demeaning when I couldn’t succeed at it.)

The only positive of bad memory is that when I get in a disagreement with my wife, I don’t really remember it too well the next day. Of course, that is not the case with Bobbi.

So if I had to answer the above question, I would choose not to not be able to make new memories. Amnesia (a total or partial loss of memory) would have to a horribly scary thing for the person experiencing it.

 I can’t imagine what it would be like to no longer remember the people or places that made you who you are. For absolutely nothing, would I want to lose my reminiscences that give me my identity (even the painful ones).

It would be heartbreaking to no longer be able to make new memories. There are so many things to look forward to like possibility of a grandchild(s) from my daughter, writing many more encouragement blogs for my readers, growing old with Bobbi, and the list could go on.

What positive events do you have to look forward to in your life? Think hard, and write a list. Lamentations 3:21-22 (MSG) says “But there’s one thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, His merciful love couldn’t have dried up.” Always remember God loves you, and is there for you. Call out to Him. He is waiting.

*Adapted from 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind by Marc Chernoff (www.marcandangel.com)