Heart of the Matter

Q1: “Where does praise come into your life?”

Q2: “Why is it when God prompts us to do something we don’t follow through?”

v Bobbi K., Gahanna, OH

A1: My perceptive wife, the above two questions accent one of your strengths as my spouse that would be your directness in getting to the crux of the issue.

Though I can get emotional in private (especially over a good movie), there seems to be a disconnect in church. Though I can be inwardly touched by the worship music that is being performed, you will never see me in full worship mode (see Misunderstood, but Hopeful).

There is something inside of me that refuses to allow my emotions to go into “spiritual cruise control.” This in no way means that some insight in the sermon cannot have an effect on me. (Deep in my heart, I know I am a beloved child of God.)

There have been a few churches (I have had membership in) that have allowed me the privilege of being a gospel soloist in the Sunday morning service. I have been told I have a good voice.

I have often seen people close their eyes to take in the meaning of the words I’m singing. I sense these individuals are slipping into worship mode quickly at least for the length of my song. Instead I feel nothing, and am caught in performance mode. I am so concerned about giving God and the congregation what I feel is my best that very little praise is coming out of my heart to the One who gave me my vocal chords.

Childhood habits are very hard to break at times. I grew up in a strong independent Baptist church. Both the pastor and the vocalists could be quite animated at times, but I have few memories of emotional worship. (That went into the Pentecostal faith realm, which a good Baptist young man didn’t do.)

Allow me to digress a bit on a partially unrelated topic. It bothers me when a minister says something similar to this, “The Spirit of the Lord is heavy in this place today;” I feel that’s redundant and overly dramatic as Matthew 18:20 (NIV) states, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

No matter how Godly a pastor may be I do not believe they have the ability to discern the presence of the Holy Spirit. If you have over three people (including children) somewhere in the church, it is a given God is there.

I truly believe praising God is done through the variety of writing I do. When I am in this creative mode, my honest feelings are being communicated straight to the heart of my Heavenly Father.

A2: When God impresses on me to speak with someone, or to bless them with something (whether it’s an action or an object), the only reason I would be hesitant to comply with would be if the act is illogical to me or negatively affects my male pride.

Eventually, I am convinced by God in the need to obey His will. (He always knows the right thing to do, and how my contribution can positively impact someone’s life.) After the deed is done, I feel a sense of pride that I was used for a divine purpose and wonder when I will next hear that tiny small voice in my ear.

Whether it’s praising God in church or clearly hearing his voice when He speaks to you, you need to figure out what works best for you. Don’t fall into the Christian trap of modeling your life after what another individual does. If we are all unique creations of God, wouldn’t make sense that each one of us functions in a unique fashion in the body of Christ (I Corinthians 12:12-27). Be proud of all your talents and potential.