Hard to Hear

“Garee” returned several weeks ago to our Thursday morning men’s group after a long absence. My friend is a large man with a jovial personality and a heart to help. After the group, Garee asked to talk with me (in my estimation never a positive statement).

Garee wanted to chat with me about my oversharing in this men’s group. In my past, I have been aware that I can have a tendency (with my personality) to monopolize a group with my world of Robert’s opinions and life wisdom (and in Christian groups family prayer requests).

When Garee asked me how I was feeling about our conversation, I honestly replied I was hurt, felt I wanted to run away from him (and the men’s group), and keep silent in this group next Thursday (as I was not leaving this men’s group was as vital to me as air). People think a silent Robert is a sick or depressed person since that is so unlike me.

I am mostly a “black and white” morals type of person with some shades of gray. How could I fully be myself, and think all the time about editing my voice. How mentally exhausting? It was hard to be at home with yourself with constantly editing what you give out verbally. This was definitely a reoccurring issue in my life that became more painful every time someone tried to help me deal with it.

I was used to communicating a great deal in my greeter job and on my platform through this weblog. Reading social cues (like the wandering eye) had never been one of my strong suites. I could quickly alienate myself with what my blunt advice from those I needed the most. (I never mean to do this.) I really wanted, but at this point in my life I was uncertain as to how that goal could be achieved.

Proverbs 27:6 says, “You can trust a friend who corrects you, but kisses from an enemy are nothing but lies.” As a good friend, it couldn’t have been easy for Garee to confront me (in love). Maybe I needed to be reminded of this once again. What about you?

How do you deal with sensitive situations like the above? Can you take the kernels of truth out of a conversation that will benefit you the most? If you are unapproachable, do your best to change that as soon as possible.  If one is not constantly growing with those around you (in every aspect of their life), they become stagnant, jaded pools of themselves, which becomes putrid (and quite stinky).