How do you react when someone (relative
or friend) that loves you and has your best interest at heart confronts you
with a problem you have? A variety of responses may happen: anger and denial,
refusal to discuss and silence, or acceptance of the issue. I wish I could tell
you the last issue is my choice. My wife occasionally brings up a long going
problem that causes anger and denial inside me. By the time all is done and
said, the two of us are wounded casualties with the words we have expressed.
Why is it you always hurt the one that
means the most to you? These individuals tend to have the best memory of both
the shortcomings and successes of your life. The ones closest to you tend to
know what button to push that will send you spinning emotionally. Do all
subjects (if not a matter of life and death) need to be brought up if war will
ensue.
Sometimes the best thing to do if you
feel you are quickly reaching the point of no return is to take a “time out”
from the other person to calm down and figure out what really needs to be said.
When it comes to arguing, sometimes distance can be a needed thing.
The issue can be much more solvable
when time has been spent apart. Is the situation worth parting company with?
Please think about that. Are you better to have this person in your life with
their many imperfections than to not have them at all?
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