Stop

“Stop trying to fill the emptiness inside you with food.” (Karen Salmansohn)

Being mindful of what you eat is important when following a diet to lose weight. It’s common in today’s society to see people eat simply to relieve stress or to deal with unpleasant emotions such as sadness, loneliness, or boredom. Identifying what makes you feel hungry can help aid in what you eat.  Many of us have struggled with emotional eating and have learned to break free from the cycle to create a happy and healthy relationship around food.  Here are the differences between emotional eating and physical hunger. What can you do to be more mindful of what you eat?

Emotional eating occurs when you eat food to fulfill your emotional needs instead of your physical needs. You might order a pizza when you’re bored or reach for the pint of ice cream when you’re feeling depressed. This kind of hunger tends to start suddenly, can only be satisfied when you feel full, and is felt mostly in your head. Eating may feel good in the moment, but the feelings that made you want to eat are still there. It’s important to identify these emotions and find a healthy way to address them such as by going to therapy, eating mindfully, or actively working towards bettering yourself.

Physical hunger is your body telling you that it needs nutrition. It’s easy to notice because it starts gradually and is often felt from within your stomach. Compared to emotional eating, you’re usually open to a variety of foods instead of being fixated on only one type. Eating a normal amount of food is often enough to take care of your physical hunger. This can include eating nutritious foods that provide your body with the fuel it needs to do what is necessary.

 

Here are four ways to spot the difference between an emotional desire for comfort and a genuine need for nourishment. The good news is that with practice you can become an expert at decoding the meaning behind your food cravings:

 

Emotional Eating vs. Physical Hunger

Am I eating in response to physical hunger (rumbling stomach or low energy) or am I feeling scared, frustrated, overwhelmed or happy?

 

Test: Ask yourself, "How physically hungry am I on a scale from 1-10 (1=starving, 5=satiated 10=stuffed)?" If you are a 1-5, it's likely that you do need something to eat. If so, that is okay. If you answer 6-10, it's likely that food isn't going to help a bit.

 

Fix: Try eating a Mandarin orange. They are a great food to help curb emotional eating and to de-stress. It is easy to peel and the segments are perfectly portioned to mindfully eat one at a time. The sweet flavor is satisfying and research has shown that citrus aromas can be calming. Also, a Mandarin orange gives a little boost of vitamin C, just what you need when stressed or emotional.

 

Lifelong vs. Transient

 

Am I building a healthy relationship with food vs. anxiety, guilt, or fear?

 

Test: Before you eat, ask yourself how you will likely feel a minute after you finish this bite of food. If a negative emotion springs to mind, take a pause. Too often we wait until after we eat to check in with the emotional impact of what we consume.

 

Fix: Mindful eating can help you build a healthy and balanced relationship with food. Use the 5 Ss of mindful eating no matter what you are eating 1) Sit down 2) Slowly Chew 3) Sense -- taste, smell, listen 4) Savor -- enjoy 5) Smile (pause before taking another bite). Remember it’s okay to eat the foods you love, as long as you do it mindfully.

 

 

Nutritious vs. Palatable

 

Am I choosing nutritious rich foods or sugary, fatty salty foods?

 

Test: A truly hungry person will eat a large range of foods that will quickly quiet a rumbling stomach. Someone with an emotionally driven craving often only craves a specific type of food or taste -- not just chocolate, but chocolate with caramel. If only a salty snack will do, it's likely that this is an urge for comfort.

 

Fix: It's important to keep good tasting, healthy snacks handy. Often, people keep diet foods around that are bland and don't taste good. Kick up the taste of vegetables with hummus, sprinkle yogurt with some nuts, drizzle chocolate on berries, or add a dash of spice to your vegetable soup.

 

Satisfaction vs. Relief

 

Do I want to eat for energy to fuel my body to make it through the day, or am I looking for relief or a sense of safety/security?

Test: Place your hand on the part of your body that needs attention. Does it go to your stomach because it is rumbling? Or, does it go to your brain that feels dull and bored?

 

Fix: Aim to satisfy the part of your body that your hand rests on. If your brain is bored, give it some mentally stimulating material. If your hand traveled to your shoulders, lift and release your shoulders five times to relax your muscles. If it lands on your stomach, mindfully choose a nourishing food.

 

“Don’t allow a problem you’re having with a person to become an eating problem. Stop trying to stuff down your feelings with food” (Karen Salmansohn)[i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “Emotional vs. Physical Hunger: 4 Ways to Tell the Difference” By Jada Blitz

·        “The Difference between Emotional and Physical Hunger” by Blue Tree Health

·        Emotional vs. Physical Hunger: 4 Ways to Tell the Difference” by Susan Albers

 

Medicine

“Resting is not laziness. It’s medicine.” (Glenn Sweitzer)

I regularly have migraine attacks. I’m not telling you this, but for understanding. A migraine is not just a bad headache, but a neurological disorder that can affect every system of the body. The unbearable head pain that migraines are known for is only one symptom of the illness. When I say “I have a migraine,” I mean that I am horribly nauseated, dizzy, weak, have flu-like lethargy, and fatigue.

My legs tremble, and my knees buckle. I can’t think clearly enough to write a coherent sentence, common words escape me, and decision-making is nearly impossible. I am overwhelmed by mood swings, which includes suicidal depression. Light, sounds, smells, and touch are magnified beyond annoyance.

The head pain is so severe that even moving my legs while laying in bed causes me to moan in agony. These aren’t all my symptoms just the most notable ones. I am fortunate in that I don’t have endless vomiting, diarrhea, numbness, tingling in my limbs, temporary paralysis, or loss of vision.

 The misunderstanding that a migraine can be treated with over-the-counter painkillers and a nap or avoided entirely by not eating chocolate or not getting stressed is not only wrong. This disregards the enormous suffering of the more than 37 million migraineurs in the U.S. Some people could have a radical reduction in the frequency and severity of their migraine attacks with awareness, preventive medication, and lifestyle and behavioral changes.

Many others strive tirelessly to improve their health with no luck. Chronic migraines, defined as 15 or more headache days a month with at least eight of which are migraine, affects 2 percent of the world’s population. Some migraineurs have an attack every single day. In addition to the excruciatingly painful migraine days, every migraine also has a recovery day (or three) that can put alcohol hangovers to shame.

Understand that your sibling isn’t just trying to get out of your weekly Sunday dinner with the family. Your coworker isn’t taking the day off to something fun. Your spouse isn’t a whiner who doesn’t want to help with housework. A migraine cannot be eliminated with any amount of positive thinking though I wish it could). There is no cure at all for migraines because modern medicine doesn’t even know the full extent of what causes them. Do your best to be patient with us as we figure out what works for us.

Kerrie

 “If migraine patients have a common and legitimate second complaint besides their migraines, it is that they have not been listened to by physicians. Looked at, investigated, drugged, charged, but not listened to.” (Oliver Sacks) [i]

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[i] Adapted from: -“An Open Letter to People without Migraine” By Kerrie Smyres

 

Trouble

A person who talks too much gets into trouble. A wise person learns to be quiet. (Proverbs 10:19, ERV)

How much talking do you do on an average day? How much real listening do you do where you focus on what the other person is saying?  If you're like most of us, the answer is not enough. Most people tend to treat conversation like a competitive sport in which the person, who says the most, makes the cleverest point, persuades others of an opinion, or even speaks the longest and loudest is the winner.

All of us fall into this trap. All of us find ourselves interrupting all to support our point of view or display our superior knowledge. If you stop and think about it, though, this approach is the opposite of the one you should take. In most conversations, the person who speaks least benefits most and the person who speaks most benefits least.  Below are bad habits you all need to conquer in the year 2020:

Interrupting-This is another obvious listening mistake – when you actually stop the other person from talking to speak yourself. It’s particularly hard not to make this mistake when you’re emotional. When you feel anger at what people are saying, you want to jump in and tell them why they are wrong.

Try giving people a chance to finish their thoughts before saying your piece – you may be making an inaccurate judgment based on a misunderstanding of what is being said. Try to withhold judgment. If things are too heated, it may be best to save the conversation for another time.

Jumping to give advice-This is a much subtler bad listening habit. If a friend is telling you about a problem he or she is having, it’s only natural to want to say something that will help. However, this can distract the listener from fully giving attention to the speaker’s thoughts and feelings. If I try to give advice immediately, I might be shifting the focus back to my own thoughts and feelings – about what

I would do in that situation and how I would feel. This doesn’t mean you should never give advice. If you have something valuable to offer, you very well should. However, you don’t need to rush into it. Listen fully, attentively and empathetically, keeping your focus on the other’s thoughts and feelings before offering your advice. 

Phone use-This is a no-brainer. If you’re pulling out your phone when someone’s talking to you, you’re not being a good listener. You may disagree, calling it multi-tasking – “I can listen while I read a text!” No, you can’t – not well, anyway. Give the speaker your full attention and all that involves – going beyond his or her words to the feeling and intention behind it.

Respect the speaker as someone with something to offer, and as a person with feelings and a perspective of his or her own. Whipping out your phone to send a quick text takes some of your attention from the speaker, and it’s very disrespectful.

Shifting emphasis to oneself-Say someone’s talking to you, and you want to show them that you understand how he or she feels. You want to convey empathy to the speaker – and, as discussed. Empathy is an important part of listening. So you respond to several things he or she says by saying something like, “I know what that’s like,” or telling a story of a similar situation you’ve been in. What’s wrong with that? It’s not always a bad listening habit to convey your empathy in this way, but it shouldn’t be rushed into or relied upon as a response to everything another expresses.

That’s because it draws away from the other person’s feelings to your own, which may not be the same – your experiences are never exactly the same as another’s. Besides, if every response you give is about yourself, it may seem that you’re really only interested in the other person if they give you the opportunity to speak about yourself.

However, sometimes when people come to us with problems, they want to know that they are not alone in their feelings, and it can be very good to hear that the listener has experienced similar things. Just be careful here. Don’t be presumptuous. Make sure you’ve taken the steps outlined below to ensure you’ve really paid attention to the other person’s thoughts and feelings before jumping to your own experience.  

Trying to be better than the speaker-Sometimes, bad listening habits manifest in how you respond to a person. Most of us have encountered this bad habit before. You’re telling someone about what a good time you had at a party and the person can’t wait to tell you about an even more fun and exciting party he or she went to. When you try to be better than the speaker, you’re making it clear that you’re only paying attention to them insofar as they provide an opportunity for you to talk about yourself. This is no way to build a meaningful connection with someone, much less a relationship.  

Waiting for your turn to speak-This is something nearly everyone does: planning out the next thing you are going to say while the other person is in the middle of speaking. When you shift our attention from the speaker to ourselves – to our own thoughts and words – you’re not paying full attention to the other person. It’s extremely hard not to make this listening mistake.

It’s natural to want to be prepared, sound smart, give good advice, have something valuable to contribute to the conversation. But you can still do those things without planning our response before the speaker has finished. Take note of the next time you make this mistake, and then redirect your attention to the person speaking. You’ll find that you can simply take a moment after processing what has been said, and then decide how to respond. Even though you didn’t plan, your response will likely be even better because you’ll know the entirety of what was being said.

Active Listening Action Plan

It’s time to take some concrete steps for learning active listening (listening with your full attention and trying to understand another person. Remember: Skills require practice. Don’t expect to become an expert in active listener. When you catch your attention straying from the speaker to yourself or to something else, just call yourself back, gently, and refocus using the steps below as tools. 

Check in-When you listen you’re trying to understand how the speaker feels and what he or she is thinking. There are a couple ways to ensure that you understand the speaker:

·        Flat-out asking: “Are you saying that…?” is a good way to go.

·        Restating: Repeating back what you think the speaker is saying in different words and awaiting a response.

Checking with the speaker in this way will help you understand him or her better. It will let the speaker know that you’re trying to understand and you’re paying full attention that you value and respect him or her.

Turn off the phone-Limit the temptation of distractions. If someone wants to sit down and have a serious talk, or if someone is giving instructions and trying to teach you something, nothing says “I’m only listening until something else comes up” like your phone going off – especially if you answer it. Before you go into class or to have a heart-to-heart, take a moment to shut the phone off. This establishes immediately where your attention will be. 

Try not to judge right away or react emotionally-There are times when this step is not called for – for example, if someone is saying something very offensive or designed to hurt you. However, most of the time (you hope), this is not the case. Go into your interaction with the intent to understand the other’s feelings, opinions, etc. – not the intent to formulate and voice your own. Those things can come later. Other people are full of new information and perspectives; if you listen fully, they may end up changing the way you currently think and feel. Let’s have the courage to give them that chance.

Face the speaker-If you’re looking to the left, right, back or some other direction beyond the speaker, you’re opening yourself up to a world of distractions. You’re sending a message to the speaker that you may not really be listening. Facing the speaker will help you be, and be received as, a better listener. Try eye contact. Some people aren’t comfortable maintaining eye contact throughout the duration of their interaction, but even meeting eye-to-eye occasionally can help re-establish the fact that you’re focusing.

Build empathy skills-Empathy is the ability to understand another and feel how he or she feels (or close to it) – comes more naturally to some than others. But it can be hard for anyone to step out of his or her own world sometimes. There are ways you can help ourselves become better empathizers:

·        Check your ego: You can’t make an effort to understand another’s feelings if you don’t care about them. If you’re focused only on your own feelings. You may need to start out by checking your ego. Reminding you that other people have value, and have perspectives and experiences that are likely just as important as your own. We’re all the centers of our own universes. Get interested in someone besides yourself. 

·        Ask for more information: If you’re having a hard time understanding how someone is thinking or feeling about something, ask for more information about the situation. Wait until it is appropriate to do so – especially if dealing with a sensitive subject. Temper your questions by what you think he or she would be willing to share with you. 

·        Think about the other person’s view: Build empathy skills by arguing against yourself. This is a very difficult exercise, but can be highly rewarding both in the critical thinking and the empathy departments. Think of a time when you disagreed with someone. Now, try to take the other’s side and develop an argument in support of his or her position.

The more detail, the better. You might want to draw on what you know about that person that may explain his or her position, or you may simply reason through that position. Nothing puts you in another’s shoes and out of your own like the ability to debate yourself. What you gain from the exercise will transfer into all your interactions such as listening to others not just when disagreeing with them.

 “God’s one and only voice [is] silence.” (Herman Melville) [i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        ^“5 Fool-Proof Ways to Become a Better Listener” by Good Choices Good Life

·        “7 Smart Reasons You Should Talk Less and Listen More” by Minda Zetlin

·        “One-up” by Dictionary.com

 

 

Dreadful

“Advice is like castor oil easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.” (Josh Billings)

Castor oil comes from the Ricinus Communis plant also called the castor oil plant. The castor beans (technically seeds) get pressed into a versatile, pale-yellow vegetable oil with a very distinct flavor and smell. Castor is rich in ricinoleic acid.

Ricinoleic acid makes up 90% of the oil and this has been linked to the oils numerous benefits. Castor oil has been around for centuries. The Egyptians first used it about 3500 years ago to combat dry eyes. If you are searching for an affordable, multi-purpose oil to keep in your medicine cabinet, castor oil may be a good choice. Here are seven benefits of castor oil:

Fights Fungus-Several studies have shown that castor oil may help fight fungal infections in the mouth caused by Candida Albicans.

Impressive Anti-Inflammatory Effects-Castor oil is high in ricinoleic acid, a fatty acid that has been shown to help reduce pain and inflammation in test-tube and animal studies.

Keeps Your Hair and Scalp Healthy-The moisturizing and anti-inflammatory properties of castor oil make it an excellent option to keep hair soft and hydrated and help reduce dandruff symptoms.

Natural Laxative-Castor oil can be used as a natural remedy for occasional constipation. However, it can cause side effects like cramping and diarrhea and should not be used to treat chronic constipation.

Natural Moisturizer-Castor oil can help lock moisture in the skin. Though this natural alternative to store-bought products is considered safe for most, it can cause allergic reactions in some.

Precaution-Castor oil can cause side effects, such as allergic reactions and diarrhea, in some people. It can also induce labor so pregnant women should avoid it.

 Promotes Wound Healing-Castor oil helps heal wounds by stimulating the growth of new tissue, which reduces dryness and prevents the buildup of dead skin cells.

Reduces Acne-Castor oil helps fight inflammation, reduce bacteria, and soothe irritated skin all of which can be helpful for those looking for a natural acne remedy.

“Mussolini tortured his enemies by forcing them to swallow massive doses of castor oil.” (Knjaz Milos)[i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “16 Benefits and Uses of Castor Oil” By Ravi Teja Tadimalla StyleCrazeStyleCraze

·        “7 Benefits and Uses of Castor Oil” by Jillian Kubala

·        “Castor Oil: 5 Benefits to Using this Ancient Remedy” by Victoria Albina

·        “The 5 Best Benefits of Castor Oil Are Mostly for Your Hair and Skin” By Blake Bakkila and Caroline Picard

My mother suggested this topic.

 

Dust

You will work hard for your food, until your face is covered with sweat. You will work hard until the day you die, and then you will become dust again. I used dust to make you, and when you die, you will become dust again.” (Genesis 3:19, ERV)

The cremation process occurs in the cremation chamber (sometimes called the retort), a masonry-lined enclosure that can produce and withstand temperatures in the range of 1800°F to 2000°F. The deceased human body is positioned in a wood or cardboard casket, and placed in the chamber. Within a few hours the body is vaporized and reduced to bone fragments.

These fragments are removed from the cremation chamber and placed on a table where the crematory operator removes, by hand or with a magnet, all metal debris such as screws, nails, surgical pins or titanium limbs/joints. These remains are called cremains (or ashes). The fragments are then placed in a special processor that pulverizes the bone to a fine powder. These cremains are placed in a plastic bag within an urn or a temporary cremation container and returned to the deceased’s family.

Death has always been accepted as a negative event. It was imposed upon the race of mankind as a result of sin. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the paradise of Eden, they immediately received the ultimate consequence: separation from God. Romans 5:12 (ERV) says, “Sin came into the world because of what one man did. And with sin came death. So this is why all people must die—because all people have sinned.”

This separation, while initially a spiritual one, affected the body, soul, and spirit. Spiritually, man (and women) lost the right to have fellowship and communion with God. The body also suffered in that it took on the properties of corruption, began to decay, and counted its existence in time -- culminating in death. This was the origin of an issue, ultimately evolving into a problem: “What is to be done with the dead body?”

The Bible, however, nowhere answers the question as to the method of disposal. Moral and religious questions are raised as to the right to “destroy” the body through cremation of the remains. Often, even the procedure of autopsy is challenged on religious bases when the cause of death requires further investigation. These questions, ultimately, can only be answered in an individual’s or family’s conscience. The Bible has remained silent as to a correct technique.

Whether a person is buried or cremated, God will give all of His children a glorious and incorruptible new body to dwell with Him forever in Heaven (upon His return to earth). Once and for all the negativity of death and separation from God will be nullified. ^“It will all happen so fast, in a blink, a mere flutter of the eye. The last trumpet will call, and the dead will be raised from their graves with a body that does not, cannot decay. All of us will be changed.” (1 Corinthians 15:52, VOICE)

As for biblical support for the anti-cremation position, it’s often pointed out that Abraham purchased a burial site for himself and his wife Sarah (Genesis 23:9). Joseph commanded that his bones be carried out of Egypt (Genesis 50:25). The Lord Himself provided for the burial of Moses (Deuteronomy 34:5-6). The same practice continued in the New Testament with the burial of John the Baptist (Mark 6:29), the Rich Man (Luke 16:22), Lazarus (John 11:17-19), Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:6-10), and Jesus Himself (Mark 15:46). There are no recorded cremations in the New Testament.  There are no cremations mentioned in the New Testament.

For my part, I don’t believe that cremation needs to be viewed as a spiritual issue. One could just as easily argue that the custom of burial in ancient Israel was nothing more than a reflection of the Bible’s cultural context. Nevertheless, the fact remains that all physical bodies suffer disintegration, whether through decay or through fire (Genesis 3:19). God does not need our specific ashes and chemical components to bring about resurrection because the resurrected body is a new spiritual creation. “The body that is “planted” is a physical body. When it is raised, it will be a spiritual body. There is a physical body. So there is also a spiritual body.” (1 Corinthians 15:44, ERV)

The first mention of cremation in the Bible is 1 Samuel 31:11-13 in the Old Testament: “The people living in Jabesh Gilead heard what the Philistines did to Saul so all the soldiers of Jabesh went to Beth Shan. They marched all night, went to the wall of Beth Shan, and took down the bodies of Saul and his sons. Then they carried them to Jabesh. There the people of Jabesh burned the bodies of Saul and his three sons. Later, they buried the bones of Saul and his three sons under the big tree in Jabesh. Then the people of Jabesh showed their sadness. They did not eat for seven days.” The Philistines had cut off Saul’s head, and the bodies were likely mutilated and decaying by the time the men of Israel retrieved the remains. It was probably considered more honorable to cremate the royal entourage than attempt to haul the mutilated, stinking bodies elsewhere for the usual Jewish burial ceremonies.

The only other references to cremation (direct or indirect) are in Amos 2:1, Amos 6:8-10, and Leviticus 20:14. On 200 occasions in the Old Testament, burial is mentioned as the standard disposition of dead bodies.

“Give, give, give - what is the point of having experience, knowledge or talent if I don't give it away? Of having stories if I don't tell them to others? Of having wealth if I don't share it? I don't intend to be cremated with any of it! It is in giving that I connect with others, with the world and with the divine.” (Isabel Allende) [i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “Answers” By BGEA Staff   

·        “Christian Views on Cremation” by All about God

·        “Cremation: A Biblical Perspective” by Focus on the Family

·        “The FAQs: What Christians Should Know About Cremation” by Joe Carter

 

Payments

“Just because you can afford the payments, doesn’t mean you can afford the item.” (Live Oola)

My son, don’t make yourself responsible for the debts of others. Don’t make such deals with friends or strangers. ² If you do, your words will trap you. ³ You will be under the power of other people, so you must go and free yourself. Beg them to free you from that debt. ⁴ Don’t wait to rest or sleep. ⁵ Escape from that trap like a deer running from a hunter. Free yourself like a bird flying from a trap. (Proverbs 6:1-5, ERV)

What God says about debt:

·        Debt enslaves a person to a creditor.

If you borrow money with interest, you’ll end up serving the interests of your creditors for the rich rule over the poor. (Proverbs 22:7, TPT)

·        Debt ensnares a person in an earning trap.

Unless you have the extra cash on hand, don’t countersign a note. Why risk everything you own? They’ll even take your bed. (Proverbs 22:26-27, TLB)

·        Debt elicits guilt.

“You cannot serve two masters at the same time. You will hate one and love the other, or you will be loyal to one and not care about the other. You cannot serve God and Money at the same time. (Matthew 6:24, ERV)

·        Debt erases giving opportunities.

Whenever you are able, do good to people who need help. (Proverbs 3:27, ICB)

·        Debt exposes character flaws.

Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have because He has said, “I will never leave you; I will always be by your side.” (Hebrews 13:5, VOICE)

·        Debt erodes our Christian witness.

Being respected is more important than having great riches. To be well thought of is better than owning silver or gold. (Proverbs 22:1, ICB)

What do you need to do to get out of debt as quickly as you can?

1.     Make a decision.

2.     Make a plan.

3.     Find an accountability partner.

4.     Give yourself time.

Your spiritual debt of sin has been paid in full through the blood of Jesus Christ.
The payment for sin is death. But God gives us the free gift of life forever in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23, ICB)

 “When God blesses you financially, don’t raise your standard of living. Raise your standard of giving.” (Mark Batterson)[i]

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[i] Inspired by the sermon “Freeing God’s Money: Managing God’s Money” (installment three) Sunday January 19, 2020, Pastor Dave Jansen, CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH.