Permanent

“Romance is temporary. Bromance is permanent.” (Anonymous)

A bromance is a close, platonic friendship of love, support, and deep affection between two males. Sometimes awkward, yet always unwavering, a genuine bromance is today’s way for two dudes to say, “I love you, man.” If you're a guy who's never had a male best friend, finding your bromance can be challenging.

The origins of the word bromance come from a combination of "bros" (male friends or brothers) and romance.  Bromances are also called "man crushes" because of the level of affection the guys feel for each other. Sometimes the men enjoy spending time together so much that they prefer to hang out with their "man crush" more than their significant other.

While the idea of a bromance isn’t a new one, the word “bromance,” itself – which was first introduced in the early 21^st century – entered millennial vernacular and gained cultural notoriety through various forms of popular media around 2005. Men can have close friendships with other men without suggesting there may be romantic ties.

Researchers have concluded that good bromances will release oxytocin in the human brain as well. Increased oxytocin can help men live longer, healthier lives. Here are just a few benefits men gain from increased oxytocin in the brain:

·        Increased generosity-Oxytocin has been shown to boost altruism. In one study, participants who received oxytocin were 80% more generous than others who received a placebo.  

·        Lower cortisol levels-Cortisol, the stress hormone, can have harmful effects on your body, ranging from increased abdominal fat to decreased immunity. Studies show oxytocin reduces the amount of cortisol that releases in response to stressful situations.

·         Pain relief-Oxytocin has been associated with decreased pain and improved healing speed. Studies show it can even raise your pain threshold.
 

“Having a soulmate is not always about romance. You can find your soulmate in a friendship too.” (Anonymous)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “How to Start a Bromance” Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

·        “Signs You're In A Bromance” by Bobby Box

·        “What's So Great About Bromance?” by Emma Innocenti

·         The Surprising Benefits of the "Bromance" by Amy Morin

 

The Capacity

“Humans alone are created as rational beings in the image of God, capable of a relationship with God and given by him the capacity to understand the universe in which they live.” (John Lennox)

 ²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make humanity in our image to resemble us so that they may take charge of the fish of the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and all the crawling things on earth.”

²⁷ God created humanity in God’s own image, in the divine image God created them, male and female God created them.

²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and master it. Take charge of the fish of the sea, the birds in the sky, and everything crawling on the ground.” ²⁹ Then God said, “I now give to you all the plants on the earth that yield seeds and all the trees whose fruit produces its seeds within it. These will be your food. ³⁰ To all wildlife, to all the birds in the sky, and to everything crawling on the ground—to everything that breathes—I give all the green grasses for food.” And that’s what happened. ³¹ God saw everything he had made: it was supremely good.

There was evening and there was morning: the sixth day. (Genesis 1:26-31, CEB)

In some respects, humans resemble God mentally, relationally, and morally.

You resemble God mentally because humans need to be creative and rational beings; to think, learn, and adapt.

Don’t be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds so that you can figure out what God’s will is—what is good and pleasing and mature. (Romans 12:2, CEB)

You resemble God relationally because humans are designed to be personally close to God and other people.

²⁴ And let us consider each other carefully for the purpose of sparking love and good deeds. ²⁵ Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25, CEB)

You resemble God morally because humans are made to know right from wrong.

But your misdeeds have separated you from your God. Your sins have hidden his face from you so that you aren’t heard. (Isaiah 59:2, CEB)

“What does it mean to be human? It means we are created in the image of God for the glorious reality of being in permanent fellowship with Him.” (Ravi Zacharias)[i]

---

[i] Inspired by the sermon “Image of God, “Sunday September 22, 2019, Elder Ryan Edwards, CenterPoint Gahanna Church Gahanna, OH.

Coaxed

“A habit cannot be tossed out the window. It must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.” (Mark Twain)

Oftentimes we hold ourselves back from happiness because we believe happiness is contingent upon other people, circumstances and/or it’s something we have to find (or earn). Happiness is inside of you, and you have the power to access it anytime you want. Happiness isn’t some obscure or out-of-reach state of being. It’s a natural part of life that’s attainable for us all. Are you ready to be happy? If you are, start by quitting these five things that may be holding you back from true pleasure:

Fearing change-Change can most certainly be scary—no doubt about it. Oftentimes once we get past the (usually irrational) fear, we’ll find opportunities that would have never come about otherwise. Plus, seeing yourself disregard fear, overcome obstacles, and thrive is quite honestly sometimes better than falling in love.

Change is inevitable — it’s the most natural part of life, and it impacts us all. If we spend our time fearing what could or will change, we’ll end up missing out on our lives. Embrace change, even when it’s unexpected. Change always comes bearing gifts, lessons, and growth. If you teach yourself to always find the blessings and lessons in change, you’ll lead an exciting and happy life.

Living in the past-There is value in recognizing errors, learning from mistakes, and making amends for things you’ve done wrong—it’s called being a responsible, mature person. Many of us frequent the past on a daily basis. We think about all of the things we said, did and wish we could change. We spend time being angry at other people for what they said or did.

But, the past is gone — it doesn’t exist anymore. So why spend another second trying to re-live it? There’s nothing from the past that can be changed now. This moment right here, right now, is the only moment that truly exists. And when we spend our time focused on the past, we lose our lives in the present. Let go of the past. Don’t dwell on what you wish you could change. Live for this moment. This is the moment that counts. 

Overthinking-We become so consumed with trying to say things perfectly, explaining what “we really meant” when we said you-fill-in-the-blank to so-and-so, and we end up oh so weary from all of the overthinking. Many times, what we are actually doing is trying to manage what other people think about us. But why do we worry so much about what other people think?

If we don’t like ourselves, then it’s hard to believe that anyone else does. We are selfish people, and we think about ourselves more than anyone else—so chances are, that person you are worrying about is probably worrying about themselves or simply thinking about the things that are going on in their own life. Instead of overthinking your life — live it, experience it and let it be what it will be.

Putting yourself down-We all do it. Sometimes it’s because we really don’t like ourselves; sometimes it’s to make others (and ourselves) laugh. Being able to laugh at yourself is one thing—it’s attractive to be comfortable enough in who you are to let things go. Don’t take yourself so seriously. However, telling yourself that you’re stupid when you make a mistake or blaming yourself when someone else has clearly wronged you is not healthy. If you are chronically speaking unkind words to yourself, you can do some serious damage.

After all, we hear our own thoughts more than anything else throughout the day. Let’s learn to give ourselves grace. We all make mistakes and have insecurities. But, if we obsess over our insecurities and mistakes we’ll never be happy with who and what we are. None of us are perfect in our human form — and that’s okay because we’re not supposed to be. We’re here to learn, grow and experience life. You are worthy and deserving of love, abundance, and goodness. You are enough as you are now. Lift yourself up — you deserve it.

Trying to please everyone-Be kind, respectful, and do your best to love your neighbor as yourself—be a good person. During childhood, many of us grow up believing that in order to be accepted we have to appease everyone around us. The problem with this is when we spend all of our time trying to please others, we end up neglecting our own needs and living life for everyone but ourselves. Not everyone is going to approve of how you live your life and that’s okay. This is your life, not theirs. Live your life for yourself and you’ll be amazed at how the universe opens doors where there were only walls.

“The secret to permanently breaking any habit is to love something greater than the habit.” (Bryant McGill)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “5 Things to Quit Right Now If You Want to Be Happy” by Antasha Durbin

·         “5 Things You Need to Quit Right Now” by Ashley Johnson

 

 

God’s Hands

“Everything I have said or done is in the hands of God. I commit myself to Him! I certify to you that I would do or say nothing against the Christian faith. “(Joan of Arc)

 

Joan of Arc, was born in Domremy, France in 1412. Her father, Jacques, was a farmer who also worked as an official for the town. Joan worked on the farm and learned how to sew from her mother, Isabelle. Joan was also very religious. When Joan was around twelve years old she had a vision. She saw Michael the Archangel. He told her that she was to lead the French in a battle against the English.

After she drove the English out she was to take the king to be crowned at Rheims. Joan continued to have visions and hear voices over the next several years. She said they were beautiful and wonderful visions from God. When Joan turned sixteen she decided it was time to listen to her visions and take action.

Years later the English held Joan as prisoner and gave her a trial to prove that she was a religious heretic. They questioned her over the course of several days trying to find something that she had done that deserved death. They couldn't find anything wrong with her except that she had dressed as a man, and heard voices from God. They said that was enough to deserve death and announced her guilty.

Joan of Arc was burned alive at the stake. She asked for a cross before she died and an English soldier gave her a small wooden cross. Witnesses said she forgave her accusers and asked them to pray for her. She was only nineteen years old when she died on May 30, 1431 in Rouen, France.
Below is more information about Joan of Arc.

Joan’s real name was Jehanne d’Arc- The woman we know today as “Joan of Arc” was actually born as “Jehanne” in a small northeastern French village. Last names were uncommon in medieval France, which could explain the confusion she encountered when testifying during her trial. Last names usually signified a significant journey or pilgrimage a person accomplished during his or her life. The “Arc” comes from her father’s surname, “Jacques d’Arc.” Despite this, however, she preferred to be known as Jehanne la Pucelle, which translates to “Joan the Maiden.”

She had no formal military training-One of the biggest Joan of Arc accomplishments (and misconceptions) includes her modern depiction as a fierce fighting warrior. Although she’s definitely been injured during battle, she surprisingly chose not to engage in fighting herself. Two famous Joan of Arc quotes explain her decision, including when she stated, “I would rather die than do something which I know to be a sin or against God’s will.

In the second quote, she said, “When I went against my enemy, I carried my banner myself, lest I kill any. I have never killed a man.” Instead of fighting, Joan of Arc lead the French troops to combat, but she, herself, restrained from participating in violence. She strategized military plans and proposed solutions to defeat the English. And even though her ideas were constantly turned down, nevertheless she persisted.

She may have been bipolar, epileptic, or schizophrenic-Great women can have great flaws, too. Perhaps these flaws are what make them especially unique and magnificent. Joan of Arc reported having visions and hearing voices at only 13 years old. Experts today believe Joan suffered from a variety of neurological and psychiatric disorders, including migraines, bipolar disorder and brain lesions. All of these can trigger hallucinations and impair thinking. During her trial, she admitted to hearing angels “instructing her to deliver France from the invading English and establish Charles VII as the country’s rightful king,” reports the History Channel website.

She also claimed that a bright light would appear whenever she heard voices, a common symptom of schizophrenia disorder. What’s strange is that these visions came true. Joan of Arc did lead King Charles to victory over his country. Unfortunately, King Charles did not reward her bravery, but rather he alienated her from his army. 

She was a courageous woman in history-This courageous woman often lost her temper with the men in the army, constantly scolding those who swore, skipped mass, and behaved badly. She was also known for scaring off mistresses and prostitutes who frequented the men. She threatened them by hitting them with the flat part of her sword.

“Truly, if you were to tear me limb from limb and separate my soul from my body, I would not say anything more. If I did say anything, afterwards I would always declare that you made me say it by force.” (Joan of Arc)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “Biography: Joan of Arc” by Ducksters

·        “The 5 Joan of Arc Facts You Didn’t Learn in History Class” by Natalie Sancimino

 

Powers

“All the powers of imagination combine in hypochondria.” (Mason Cooley)

A hypochondriac is someone who worries excessively that they are or may become seriously ill. Hypochondria may increase with age, severity, or during times of stress. But psychological counseling (psychotherapy) and sometimes medication can help ease worries. Hypochondria might be easy to dismiss but the disorder is actually a mental health condition which causes worry to the point where the anxiety is debilitating. Find a healthy perspective and ask yourself this question: “Do I want to keep worrying about the possibility of becoming ill or do I want to get on and live my life?”  Below are some signs that you might have hypochondria:

1. Being preoccupied or perhaps becoming obsessed about being physically ill or that you might become ill.

2. Worrying about your health is negatively affecting various aspects of life: work, social interactions, family life, and relationships.

3. Using Google search a little too much, trying to self-diagnose illnesses or physically examining you.

4. Not believing your doctor’s reassurances that you are actually fine, healthy, and well.

5. Constantly talking about your health and seeking reassurance from family and friends that you are OK.

6. Sometimes the anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as chest pains/flutters, feeling dizzy, dry mouth, swerving, trembling, or a feeling of numbness. Panic attacks can be a physical outlet for your worry.

7. Interpreting any bodily sensations as a serious illness even the smallest ache can create a very real fear.

8. Avoidance of anything associated with illness such as medical TV programs.

9. Feeling isolated and becoming withdrawn and preoccupied.

10. Avoiding activities or particular places for fear of becoming ill. Perhaps no longer doing things you used to enjoy.

“Let me tell you something about hypochondria: It's a pernicious, undermining little demon. It won't kill you, but it will sap the color from your life so that in the loveliest moments, the moments of grace, you are hit with that whisper in your ear that takes it all away. I'm sick, I'm dying. I just don't know it yet.” (Dani Shapiro) [i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “Hypochondria: Top 10 warning signs that you might be a Hypochondriac” By Anna Williamson

·        “Illness anxiety disorder” by Mayo Clinic

 

Accessible

“We have the greatest hospitals, doctors, and medical technology in the world. We need to make them accessible to every American.” (Barbara Boxer)

Today’s hospitals are designed to be modern and comfortable. They use the most advanced health care providers available. When you think about a hospital, what comes to mind? Is it the bright lights and the flurry of the emergency room? Is it waiting rooms full of long tables and magazines? Is it high-tech equipment that helps to save a patient’s life?

 

 Compared to hospitals of the past, today’s modern hospital requires unique design decisions and new services that you may never have heard about. Many things have changed in the history of hospitals. Can you remember any of the hospital staples listed below that used to be a constant in any healthcare facility?

 

Candy stripers-High school girls who had an interest in nursing once had the opportunity to volunteer at area hospitals as a Candy Striper. The program began in 1944 and continued until the late 1960s. The name came from the pink-and-white pinstriped pinafores the girls wore while they delivered flowers to patients, refilled water pitchers, and changed babies’ diapers in the nursery. At one time they were even charged with carrying blood and other specimens from the operating room to the laboratory. The pinafore has since been retired and HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) laws have redefined what they can and cannot do, but “candy stripers” live on in the guise of the Junior Volunteers program, which features a uniform consisting of a polo shirt and slacks.

Five-day hospital stays for new moms-The average hospital stay for a new mother after giving birth was 3.9 days in 1970. That was in the case of a natural childbirth, no complications, no drugs administered. Prior to that, it wasn’t uncommon for new mothers to be hospitalized for anywhere from five to ten days after giving birth, and only seeing their newborns during scheduled feeding times. There are two schools of thought when it comes to the current trend of sending mom home 48 hours after checking in versus the previous long-stay regimen. True, those old-school moms had less “bonding time” with their babies, since they only held them a few times per day and the nurses did all the diaper changing. But those extended hospital stays also gave mom time to get some uninterrupted sleep before going home to the never-ending duties of caring for a newborn.

Foot-of-the-bed clipboards-A patient’s most personal information used to be noted on a series of forms that were attached to a clipboard, traditionally hung at the foot of the bed. This was for the convenience of doctors and nurses as they made their rounds. How reading the doctor’s notes from your visit can save your life. But truth be told, any bored stranger could browse Mrs. X’s medical history (not to mention other personal details, including home address, birth date, and pre-existing conditions) while she slept. Thanks mainly to HIPAA laws; hospitals take more care to guard patients’ privacy. Most hospitals now utilize whiteboards above the patient’s bed for critical care information, but keep their personal details on an electronic tablet.

Glass thermometers-How many of us remember when the nurse repeatedly shook the glass thermometer during an exam, and threatened to “stick it elsewhere” if we couldn’t keep it under our tongue for the required minute? Turns out mercury-filled thermometers were actually a health hazard when they dropped on the floor and shattered. Who knew that little silver globule could contaminate the surrounding air if not cleaned up properly? Not to mention if the patient happened to break the thermometer by chomping down on it.

Hot water bottles-These Vulcanized rubber bladders filled with hot water were once the go-to device when a patient required localized heat on a particular bodily area. Today, microwave ovens and gel packs have taken the place of the old-fashioned hot water bottle. No waiting for water to boil, and flexible packs come in varying sizes and flexibility to soothe the most curvy and angular areas of pain.

Oxygen tents-For many years when a patient needed continuous oxygen feed, they were placed inside an oxygen tent (or, more properly, a “mist tent”) — a clear plastic “canopy” that covered them from their head to their midsection. Oxygen was pumped into the tent along with a cooling mist provided by ice that was packed into the back of the machinery. Eventually it was determined that oxygen was delivered more efficiently and effectively via a nasal cannula. Mist tents were occasionally resurrected from the hospital storage room in the 1980s for the fussy child who kept pulling the cannula off of his face, but that canopy came with its own set of problems: hospitalized children are frequently frightened and are comforted by a parent lying in bed next to them. That plastic barrier made cuddling almost impossible. So doctors learned to have patience with their tiniest patients and let them adjust to the nose tubes.

Pristine white nurse uniforms-The white head-to-toe uniform for nurses (including cap, dress, stockings and shoes) was meant to be a sign of purity and cleanliness. That is all right when the nurse first gets dressed in the morning. But after a few hours of tending to patients, their clothes got stained, shoes got scuffed, and caps fell off at the most inconvenient times. The seeds of change were sowed in the 1970s, when hospitals started cutting costs and one of those money-saving measures was no longer providing free laundering of uniforms. In addition, more males were entering the profession, and their white shirt-and-trouser uniform was deemed too similar to that of a doctor, causing confusion. The colored scrubs that are now the norm; studies have even shown that such attire has a calming effect on patients.

Smoking-There was a time when an ashtray was a staple item of every hospital nightstand. Patients were not discouraged from smoking while incapacitated. Indeed, candy stripers used to sell cigarettes to patients who were too ill to amble down to the commissary on their own. Pedestal ashtrays dotted hospital corridors, and it was not uncommon for doctors to grab a puff or two while filling out a chart during their rounds.

That hospital smell-That distinctive aroma, recognizable even if blindfolded, meant doctors and nurses and poking and prodding and shots. How many of us immediately had our insides automatically tighten and clench up when we walked through the doors of a hospital when we were young? One of the primary culprits for that old-school hospital smell was the topical antiseptic Povidone-iodine, better known as Betadine. Betadine is still used in as a surgical scrub, but due to the many possible side effects has fallen out of use as a disinfectant for minor wounds. Another contributor to that hospital odor was the strong disinfectants used to scrub the floors. In recent years, less aromatic detergents have been developed for hospital usage in acknowledgement of those patients who are sensitive to smells.

A waiting room for dad-It wasn’t until the early 1970s that the father was included in the actual birth process and allowed to stay beside mom throughout labor and delivery. But even then, he still had the option to avoid the hard part and could instead stand vigil in that staple of every maternity ward at the time — the father’s waiting room. Dads paced, smoked, and read outdated magazines until a nurse summoned them to the viewing window in the nursery. Baby was already cleaned and wrapped up in an adorable bundle.

White surgical scrubs-Surgeons traditionally wore bright white scrubs in the operating room. After all, white was the color of purity and cleanliness. One French surgeon, René Leriche, started wearing blue scrubs in surgery way back in 1914. It reduced eye strain for doctors while working long hours during World War I. He also advocated that hospitals use a distinct color for clothes and sheets used in the operating room. It took a long time for his concept to catch on, but eventually hospital administrators learned that the bright white lights in the operating room plus the red blood of the patients caused not only literal headaches for surgeons, but also optical illusions while quickly glancing from patient to the white uniform of an assistant. Hospitals began using “surgical green” scrubs until the early 1970s, when the first primitive video cameras were placed above the room to record procedures for use in teaching medical students. White scrubs and white lights constantly disrupted the camera’s focus. Ceil blue turned out to be the best color for surgeons when it came to optimal surgical precision and their on-camera close-ups.

"The truth is that airports have seen more sincere kisses than the wedding halls, and the walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of a church." (Popsugar)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “5 Things You Didn’t Know About Hospitals” by America’s Healthcare

 

·        “11 things you no longer see in hospitals” by Kara Kovalchik

 

 

Placed

“The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.” (Marcus Tullius Cicero)

A eulogy is a meaningful speech by a family member or a close family friend in praise of a person or thing who has recently died (or retired). In addition to the grief and sorrow you're already feeling as you cope with the loss of a loved one, you must find the time to organize your thoughts, put them down on paper , and deliver your speech; all within the fairly compressed timeframe between the death and the funeral (or memorial service).

You’ll feel nervous about how to give a speech that fully celebrates the deceased’s life while giving comfort and catharsis to those left behind. While only you can determine the unique tone of your eulogy, the following tips will help you write and deliver a touching, meaningful eulogy in nearly any funeral (or memorial) setting:

Decide on what kind of eulogy you’re going to give-There are two basic types of eulogies you can offer. You can do either one or combine the two to form a hybrid eulogy:

·         Life history-This is a eulogy where you just go through the life history of the recently deceased while highlighting achievements. You can often just read the obituary, or use the obituary as a guide in drafting a life history eulogy. This type of eulogy is simple and fact-based, and a good option if you don’t personally know the deceased very well.

·         Shared memories-With this type of eulogy, you sacrifice breadth for depth. Instead of covering the deceased’s entire life, you hone in on a few specific shared memories that you and the audience have about the deceased. These detailed stories often highlight an attribute or virtue of the departed, but mainly they allow the audience to reminisce about good memories they had with them.

The eulogy is for your audience not for you-Whatever type of eulogy you give; keep in mind that you’re presenting to an audience that has had their own experience and memories with the deceased. So sharing memories or life history that just touches on your personal interaction with the deceased is a little inconsiderate. By all means, share those personal memories, but also find ways to connect with all the members in your audience. If you don’t know many stories about the deceased, phone/email folks to ask them to share their memories; most people will be happy to talk about their fond recollections of the departed.

For added emphasis, mix together the important moments with the light ones-It’s a funeral, but you don’t want your eulogy to be too serious because that ironically detracts from the importance of the event. To appreciate the unpleasantness of a loved one’s death, you need to contrast it with the charm of those joyful and even light and funny moments of their life. So don’t be afraid to inject humor into your eulogy. Make your audience laugh. A good barometer of the effectiveness of your eulogy is that the sounds of both joyous laughter and sad sniffling can be heard from the crowd. It means you had the right mixture of heavy and light.

Write it (or type it) out-Don’t think you can give a eulogy without preparation. Emotions will be close the surface as you deliver it so the chance of you getting choked up and forgetting what you were going to say are high. To avoid that from happening to you, write out your eulogy word for word and read it from the platform. Of course, as you’re reading, you don’t want to keep your nose buried in your notes.

Practice good oration skills. Glance down to see what you’re going to say for the next line or two, look up and at your audience, and deliver those lines. The other reason you’ll want to write it out is that audience members will likely ask for a copy of it as a keepsake. You can also add it to any family history you all do.

Keep it brief-While the eulogy is an important part of a funeral service; there are other parts, too. To prevent the funeral from going longer than it needs to, keep your eulogy brief even if the planners say you’ve got all the time you want. Shoot for something around the ten minute mark that’s plenty of time to say what you need to say without the speech feeling like it goes on forever. 

Practice (to eliminate the crying)-As mentioned above, emotions are going to be close to the surface as you deliver your eulogy. That’s not a bad thing. Emotion demonstrates your sincere grief, and part of the purpose of a funeral is to evoke healing in the audience — a chance for them to feel and vent their own grief. But a funeral generally, and a eulogy specifically, should also ideally impart hope and strength to those in attendance.

When you’re able to hold it together, you demonstrate the fact that though the grief is acute, life will go on. Plus, when you’re consumed by choking sobs, you’ll diminish your ability to deliver your eulogy well during this final public chance to honor and celebrate the deceased’s life. So, you have to find the golden mean between injecting your eulogy with emotion, and speaking its words with clarity and clearness. What that means is speaking with real feeling, without being overtaken by intense crying fits.

To prevent this while you’re delivering the eulogy, get all your cries out the night before by practicing it over again. Read your speech again and again until you no longer cry when you read it, even at the really emotional parts. 

You’re still going to cry, but try to keep it together-No matter how much you practice or how much you cried the night before, seeing the teary faces of loved ones and friends as you share tender memories of the recently deceased will still cause you to cry. That’s okay. It means you’re a human being with a heart. But as just stated, while a few tears or moments of getting choked up are fine and can even add to the poignancy of the speech, don’t let it descend into uncontrollable weeping.

Have some tissues handy. If you do get choked up, pause for a moment, take a few breaths, wipe away any tears or snot, and start reading again. No need to apologize profusely or make a big deal about choking up. People get it. You’re at a funeral. Just say “Excuse me,” and get back to the work of delivering your eulogy.

“The right word in the right place at the right time can soothe, calm, and heal.” (Anonymous)[i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “Eulogy” From Wikipedia

·        “How to Give a Eulogy” by Brett and Kay McKay

·        “How to Write a Eulogy” by wikiHow Staff

·        “How to Write a Successful Eulogy” By Chris Raymond

 

A Shower

“Fatigue: where taking a shower is an accomplishment.” (Anonymous)

Life can be tiring. You only have so much stamina to keep you going, and you need to sleep every night. Even after a hard day, you can go to sleep to wake feeling refreshed and invigorated the next day. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is a condition that involves a lack of energy and a feeling of extreme fatigue that can’t be explained by any underlying medical condition.

The fatigue may worsen with physical or mental activity, but doesn't improve with rest. The cause of CFS is unknown although there are many theories ranging from viral infections to psychological stress. There's no single test to confirm a diagnosis of CFS. Treatment for CFS focuses on symptom relief. CFS can seriously impair the life of the afflicted person, and medical help should be sought if the following symptoms are experienced:

Cognitive Impairment-While some people are smarter than others, most of us have little difficulty in processing what is going on around us. You can generally think quick enough to solve minor obstacles that you encounter and you often do so with little to no effort. For people with CFS, even the simplest of challenges can become difficult. People with the condition can find that their ability to think clearly is impaired considerably. They will struggle to remember things in the short term and they might even forget what you’re saying before they finish a sentence. It can be noticeable in speech when they struggle to string together a meaningful sentence.

Difficulty Sleeping-Our internal body clocks are usually quite effective at sending us to sleep at the right time. Provided you allow yourself enough time in bed, you should be able to get all the sleep you need. It is not always that easy, and people with CFS can find sleeping very difficult. For people with the condition, sleeping can be difficult even if they have been feeling tired all day long. They may only be able to sleep at certain times in the day, potentially turning their sleeping cycles upside down. What’s more is that even if they do manage to get a good night’s sleep, they will still feel tired from the moment they wake up the next day.

Getting Sick-You tend not to get sick often, but for the most part you remain free from illness. This is thanks to your immune system that is in operation all day every day. CFS can weaken the immune system leading to a decrease in the body’s natural ability to fight off disease. With a weakened immune system, people with CFS are more likely to fall ill. Colds and flu can become common to them, and otherwise mild illnesses can become more severe. There is also a chance of them developing conditions such as lupus. People with CFS are encouraged to get as much exercise as possible and eat a healthy diet to bolster their immune systems.

Inability to Stand for Long Periods of Time-You spend much of your time vertically. You will spend a lot of time walking or even just standing around talking to other people. While it can get tiring after a while, you can pretty much stay vertical for as long as you like. For some people, even standing up straight is not an easy thing to do. One symptom that is fairly common in people with CFS is a condition known as orthostatic intolerance. The condition manifests itself as an urge to lie down after standing up straight even for short periods of time. It is caused by a lack of blood flow to the head meaning the person has to lie down to allow the brain to get the blood it needs.

Pain-You get aches and pains occasionally. Quite often it is because you have been sitting in an awkward position. At other times it can be because of an injury, or maybe even an illness. These pains usually subside before long, but for people with CFS such pains can be ever-present. The pain mostly affects muscles and joints and can range in severity from mild to severe and usually have no apparent cause. Muscles and joints can also become stiff, and there is little that can be done other than just waiting it out. The pain will usually linger for weeks, but in some cases pain may last for months.

Sensitivity to Stimuli-All around us is information regarding our surroundings. Sounds, sights and smells tell us what is going on, and our brains take the information you need and turn it into something useful. Sometimes, though, people can become very sensitive to these stimuli, and things can get really quite uncomfortable for them. For people with CFS, bright lights, sounds and even smells can become unbearable. They can be unbearably irritating, even painful, and can induce vomiting and severe headaches. Quite often, people with the condition will need to lie down in a quiet, dark room away from other people until the sensitivity subsides.

Stomach Problems-Many of us have certain foods that you cannot eat for some reason. It might be that you just don’t like the taste, or it might give you a bad stomach ache. If you keep clear of those foods, you don’t usually have a problem. For some people, the range of foods that gives you problems can be so wide that you struggle to eat anything without adverse side effects. People with CFS are prone to suffering from stomach pains after eating certain foods. Symptoms can also include bloating, nausea, rashes and stabbing pains. They can avoid symptoms by removing certain foods from their diet, and for many people this means eating a very restricted diet.

Tingling-Our body helps us to sense what is around us. It can be very effective at alerting us to when you might be in harm’s way, sending messages to the brain that bring our attention to an area of the body. Sometimes, people may feel sensations that have no apparent cause. One symptom of CFS is a tingling or ticklish sensation. It has also been described as burning or numbness, or pins and needles. The discomfort can range from mild, to downright agonizing. For some people, the sensation feels like bugs crawling beneath the skin. The condition is known as paresthesia, and there is no known cure as of yet.

Vertigo-Our bodies have evolved to enable us to walk upright without even thinking about it. This involves an extraordinary sense of balance that enables us to walk, run and even jump without falling over. Sometimes, this sense of balance can be affected, and moving becomes far harder than it used to be. For people with CFS, vertigo is often a problem. This is a condition characterized by dizziness, blurred vision and a lack of coordination. It can be severe enough to be debilitating.

Weakness-People who don’t exercise are likely to be physically weaker than those who do. Even those that don’t exercise won’t necessarily feel weak until they are compared to others. People with CFS will often feel weak and it can be debilitating. It is a condition known as post-exertional malaise (PEM), and is often associated with pain. Swollen lymph nodes and a sore throat will also likely be present. It is often as a result of physical or mental exertion and can be delayed by days or even weeks in some cases.

 “Massage therapy has been shown to relieve depression, especially in people who have chronic fatigue syndrome; other studies also suggest benefit for other populations.” (Andrew Weil) [i]

---

[i] Sources used:

·        “10 Symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” By James Roberts

·        “Chronic fatigue syndrome” by Mayo Clinic