Identity

“Transgender [is] a person whose gender identity differs from the sex the person... identified as having at birth.” (Merriam-Webster)

Have you ever become friends with someone whose sense of humor was so much like yours that you often forgot that you were not the same person? For me, that is “Ronnelle,” who works in automobile insurance.  One night after our weekly book club; I made this statement to him.”You know I am waiting for you to give me a controversial topic for my blog that almost everyone has an opinion on.”  As I should have known, Ronnelle’s one word answer was just what I was looking for, “transgender.”

On the limited amount of knowledge I have on transgender lifestyle, my opinion breaks down into this school of thought. I would say most people in any religious (spiritual, denominational) community would use a verse like Genesis 5:2 (VOICE) to be against transgender: He created them male and female; and after creating them, God put a special blessing on them and named them “humanity.”Many Christians would assume God put them in the gender body He wanted them in by design, and on purpose. Could it also be (for those with transgender issues) that God placed you in the “wrong” body to teach you some valuable life lesson?

Personally, I can’t imagine what it would feel like your entire life that something isn’t quite right. You wonder who the real you really is. Prayers to God to make you like everyone else seemed to go unanswered.  You wonder if God is hearing your desperate prayers. I believe this quote by Anon expresses how transgender people feel at the core of their being,” All I want to know no matter what gender I am you’ll still love me like you did before.”

Luke 6:31 (VOICE) is the gold standard on how to treat everyone on Earth. Think of the kindness you wish others would show you; do the same for them. Are you doing it (without prejudice)? Please note to protect the identity of the real individual used in this story (on a sensitive topic); details have been altered. 

 

Sociologists Say

“Sociologists say it’s common for people to perceive that God is like the fatherly figures in their lives. If dad is caring, patient and concerned then children will believe God has those same characteristics. And the opposite holds true when a father is harsh, judgmental, or absent.” (Leah Misch, Washington Times)

Males are complicated creatures (whether females believe it or not). Some males are readily visible (or vocal) with how they feel. For others, it may take some investigating to find out what’s below the surface of how they feel. For most men that are fathers (like me), fatherhood is an important part of their life, and is not taken on a surface level. My daughter, Allena, has stirred up more emotions in me than I felt were ever possible in this stage of my manhood.

Let me ask you an important question (no matter whether you are male or female): “What was your relationship like with the man you recognized as your father?” Was it a blessing to you, or a burden to your development as a human being? When you think of your relationship to your heavenly Father,  are the two almost identical? Chances are they mirror each other.

That’s a scary thought to me. I am willing to admit as a father that I have not always been the loving Christ-like example that I needed to be. Adjectives that have been descriptive of my emotions (past and present) are sullen, angry, and vindictive. Hopefully, anything good my daughter got from me; Jesus was part of it. 

As her father, I want Allena’s relationship with God to be stronger (and more intimate) than mine is. Fathers, if a child’s viewpoint of God is based on how they see you. Fathers, what divine message are you giving them, and will they be a stumbling block or a source of hope for the rest of their life? It is never to late to make changes in you (if it needs to happen).[i]

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[i] This post is dedicated to my own father, Robert E. Kinker, pictured below with my mother (as dating teenagers).

 

 

Shepherds

The church is not a campus but a community. Pastors are not [chief executive officers] CEOs. They are shepherds.” (Dillon Burroughs)

Let’s be honest with each other. We all make assumptions (major or minor) about other human beings. Assumptions can be on almost anything. As perfect as I might like to believe I am, as a skinner older man (due to bariatric surgery); I have to be cautious not to make assumptions on the character of larger people.

Philippians 2:3 (TPT) tells us all how to act in the area of making assumptions about other people. (This is great biblical advice I need to follow, too). “Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves.”

If I had to pick one profession that is full of assumptions, it would be that of a pastor. I believe this is a calling from God (that not everyone can do). Over the years I can’t tell you the number of times people I have met that believe I am a pastor (or should be training to be one). I want less drama in my life at my current age. Can you just imagine a church with me in charge of it? The thought gives me a headache. Growing up my family was charter members of my childhood church. My parents, siblings, and I got to know the pastor (and his family) on a much more personal, intimate level(the Dinoffs of Fellowship Baptist Church, Columbus, OH) than most of the congregation did.

This is a job for those who want to be difference makers. Unfortunately, people can be critical of leaders and their families). Though the pastor and his family are fallible humans, people can sometimes have perfection expectations that don’t allow for a lot of grace (at times). Being a pastor of a church (large or small) comes with duties like delegating responsibility, making sure events are run in a timely and in an efficient manner, and dealing with the life events and fluctuating emotions of a congregation.

If you have a regular church you attend, do me a favor. Be an encourager to your pastor (instead of an enemy). Let him know you care about him, and support all the good he is trying to do for your church community. He will appreciate it (for sure).[i]

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[i] This post is dedicated to my own pastor, Dave Jansen of CenterPoint Church Gahanna in Gahanna, Oh.

 

 

My pastor, Dave Jansen

 

Hang On

“Bipolar is like being in a roller coaster ride. Sometimes you can predict drop-offs and others you just have to hang on because the next turn sends you into an unexpected spiral. Sometimes you are laughing and throwing your hands in the air and then other times you are clinging, simply holding on for dear life screaming at the top your lungs.” (HealthyPlace)

Though I have been assured by two mental health professionals that I do not have Disassociate Identity Disorder (DID or multiple personalities), you will need to decide  that for yourself at the conclusion of this post. Even when I am properly medicated, I am a man of complex emotions (just ask my wife, daughter, and three Chihuahuas). I am a lot like a shiny multi-faceted diamond; there are many sides to my personality that make up the total me. So that my loving ever-patient wife, Bobbi, can keep track of who I am regularly, she has jokingly numbered (and identified) who she is communicating with:

FACET #1 “Blunt Robert”-This is the me that gets angry, loud, defensive to protect my opinion, and can often be verbally abusive out of fear. Those that have met this side of me find him rather intimidating and overwhelming. He's not good with patience. According to Bobbi, I look like Satan when I'm in irritation mode (red-faced and loud). I'm big on furious ultimatives, dares Bobbi to follow through on promises, vindictive in using Bobbi's own words against her, and do not take her correction well. When I feel it is needed, fight in public spaces is not a problem.(Most the time, I don't like negative energy of this facet of me.)

FACET #2 “Nice Robert”-This is the polite me that loves to serve others by making life pleasant for those around me. This side of me loves to verbally connect with others as I find our commonalities. This would be the instructive teacher (and leader) in me. This Robert communicates on Facebook a lot. He is also the person my family and friends are mainly associated with. This Robert can't do enough to make Bobbi happy.

FACET #3 “Normal Robert”- This is the unselfish, charming family man my wife married and Allena’s loving father. This is the optimistic, encouraging me presented on my blog. This is the me that loves to empathize with anyone’s challenges. This is the Robert present the majority of the time in social events.

FACET #4 “Paranoid Robert”- This version of me is rather jaded, and questions everything in life. He does not deal positively with generalities about his personality. He does enjoy being in an atmosphere where he can provide unique insights on whatever topic is being discussed at the moment. This version of Robert is curious about life in general (which positively aids him in writing and blogging).

For those of you who know me well, maybe you can better understand the unique child of God I am now (and always will be) with an unforgettable personality.

 

 

 

Ups and Downs

“It's been a year full of ups and downs, but one thing’s for certain: making things with your hands, hearts, and minds continues to bring us all together.”  (Jo-Ann Fabrics)

 Bobbi Kinker’s passion for sewing began in her mid twenties when her cousin’s husband bought her a sewing machine for $75. Her first project was a bed quilt from a quilt of the month club. From those early beginnings, Bobbi has served with organizations like Touching Little Lives and Columbus Threads of Love.

In addition to making quilts for a children’s school in Nagpur (India), veterans, AIDS patients, and other’s deceased family members (including pets). She has also crafted blankets for premature (and still born) babies for local hospitals, semi-weather-proof bags for the homeless, and pillowcase dresses for little girls in Africa.

In 2019, Bobbi’s idea for a sewing ministry room was realized at CenterPoint Church Gahanna in a vacant storage room under the name of Quilts with a Purpose. In 2020, Bobbi took over a red barn next to the church that was empty (and in need of her tender loving care). Bobbi’s sewing ministry was renamed Red Barn Project (RBP) to include other skills like crocheting and knitting (besides quilting). She is the Founder and Director of RBP.

Working under Columbus Relief[i], Bobbi’s goals for RBP involve teaching the younger generation how to make sewing an enjoyable, valuable part of their lives. RBP will teach basic sewing classes to all age groups that will include such important skills as sewing on a button, mending a tear, and hemming a garment. Bobbi desires to build a home economics program that can grow to one day include disciplines like cooking and baking.

RBP has already become a place that fees like home for those who are passionate about the craft of sewing (no matter whether you are male or female). RBP is on Facebook. Monetary and equipment donations are accepted (and encouraged) when God makes them available. The official grand opening of RBP is tentatively scheduled for November 2020.

It is an absolute certainty that when we use our God-given talents (like my wife did) to honor and glorify the heavenly Father. He can (and will) unite us together as we seek to change the world for the Kingdom of Heaven.  If you have further questions about Red Barn Project, Bobbi Kinker can be reached by e-mail at redbarnproject@columbusrelief.org. 
 

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[i] RBP is working under Columbus Relief. It provides…

·        Emotional support for individuals with addictions (and mental health conditions). 

·        Immediate living needs.

·        Life skills and advocacy support (when needed).

·        Meals, food necessities, and hygiene items to the homeless (and those in need). 

·        Recovery education to promote individual wellness.

 

 

 Red Barn Project



 

Founder and Director of Red Barn Project, Bobbi Kinker



 



Volunteers at work inside Red Barn Project

 

Reopening

“There's a shift in the conversations around COVID-19. It's time to start thinking about what will happen when we reopen the church. We're not heading back to the way things used to be. We're opening a new chapter after what we've learned from this pandemic... to start considering the path forward...” (William Vanderbloemen)

During the first year [538 BC] that Cyrus was king of Persia, the Lord caused him to make an announcement. It was written down, and Cyrus ordered that it be read throughout his kingdom. This was done so that what the Lord had told Jeremiah[i] years before would now happen. This was the announcement: ² From King Cyrus of Persia:

The Lord, the God of heaven, gave all the kingdoms on earth to me. And he chose me to build a temple for him at Jerusalem in the country of Judah. ³ If any of God’s people are living among you, I pray God will bless them. You must let them go to Jerusalem in the country of Judah. You must let them go build the Temple of the Lord, the God of Israel, the God who is in Jerusalem. ⁴ And so in any place where there might be survivors of Israel, the men in that place must support these survivors. Give them silver, gold, animals, and other things. Give them gifts for God’s Temple in Jerusalem.

⁵ So the family leaders from the tribes of Judah and Benjamin prepared to go up to Jerusalem. They were going to Jerusalem to build the Lord’s Temple. Also everyone who God had encouraged prepared to go to Jerusalem. ⁶ All their neighbors gave them many gifts. They gave them silver, gold, animals, and other expensive things. Their neighbors freely gave them all those things. ⁷ Also, King Cyrus brought out the things that belonged in the Lord’s Temple that Nebuchadnezzar had taken away from Jerusalem. He had put them in his temple where he kept his false gods. (Ezra 1:1-7, ERV)

Spiritual renewal requires the use of God’s great power working accordingly to His gracious promises for His glorious purpose (in His time)

·        Spiritual renewal for Christian’s must include God’s purposes. See Ezra 1:1-4 above.

·        Spiritual renewal for Christian’s must include God’s power. See Ezra 1:5-7 above.

Ice cold water tastes wonderful when you are dehydrated.  When you are spiritually dehydrated from a lack of God, don’t be satisfied with a small amount of God. Quench your spiritual thirst with the Bible, prayer, and church.

²⁴ Let us think about each other and help each other to show love and do good deeds. ²⁵ You should not stay away from the church meetings, as some are doing. But you should meet together and encourage each other. Do [these] even more as you see the day [Christ will come to judge all people, and take the saved to live with Him in Heaven]? (Hebrews 10:24-25, ICB) The church is not a brick and mortar building, but a body of believers with the power of the gospel to impact lives. Bless the world with not being a part of it.

Jesus continued to say to all of them, “Any of you who want to be my follower must stop thinking about yourself and what you want. You must be willing to carry the cross that is given to you every day for following me. (Luke 9:23, ERV) We each have our individual stories to help others with because God has made us as we are. In His timing, we must leave our comfort zones to work towards a greater commitment to His kingdom.

^20–21 He never stopped believing God’s promise, for he was made strong in his faith to father a child. And because he was mighty in faith and convinced that God had all the power needed to fulfill his promises, Abraham glorified God. (Romans 4:20-21, TPT) When God calls you to a ministry, His provisions supply the demands of His promises.

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[i] (Jeremiah 29:11-14, MSG)

^10-11 This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. ¹² “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. ^13-14 “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed” God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—“bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.

Inspired by the sermon “The Return: The Comeback” (installment one) Sunday September 6, 2020, Pastor Josh Boyer, CenterPoint Lewis Center.  All CenterPoint churches are open in-person as of today at 10am. They will continue to meet online at facebook.com/centerpointchurches or centerpointchurches.com/live.

Pastor Josh Boyer

 

Superficial

Superficial social niceties are far different from the deep emotion of thanksgiving.”  (Alexandra Katehakis)

One of my biggest gripes in our society today is sayings that you mean at the moment, but really don’t care for the answer. Some people honestly mean these things, but others use them to be viewed as nice (and caring) in today’s society.

My first example is the question, “how are you?’’ Unless it’s someone who really cares, they want the answer “fine.” The next time someone asks you that question (who you know is only being nice) be honest, and watch their eyes glaze over, or wander to their phone or someone beyond you.  In the future, don’t ask this question unless you are prepared for an honest answer. Refrain from asking this at a funeral (memorial service, or celebration of life) because the answer is obvious that person is not doing well. It’s an insensitive question to ask at a time like this.

At a death service, this Christian statement is made to comfort the bereaving, but is often not followed through on. It is, “I’ll be praying for you.” How many people do that, or forget about their promise by the time they get home. Do this instead. Say a short pray with the person right there. I guarantee your thoughtfulness will leave a lasting impression of thoughtfulness. The receiving line may not be happy with you, but they will wait for a brief prayer to God (for this person in their time of need) If you feel uncomfortable with that, go somewhere and say a prayer so you will not forget to. This person needs your prayers more now than ever.

Never say, "I promise..." You have no idea if you can fulfill what you are promising at the moment. Avoid doing this with a child as they expect adults to follow through on promises. They have problems with shades of gray. Death is the great promise breaker. Instead say, "I will do my best to..." This statement allows room for change. It is not as definite as "I promise..." I always appreciate statements based in reality (rather than non-reality).

We should all live by the advice given in Matthew 5:33-37 (MSG). Are you doing this?  “And don’t say anything you don’t mean…You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it... In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.