“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” (Voltaire)
A question is a sentence that seeks an answer
for information gathering. If you’ve read ENCOURAGE ME for any amount of time, you
know that I love asking lots of questions that I don’t have answers to.
Thank goodness the blog members’ insight to my unquenchable curiosity. I have been
naturally inquisitive since I was a child. Believe me when I say that there is
nothing like asking the right question at the right time. It can be life-changing.
Whenever you ask a question, you need to have
some idea of the answer you would like to receive, but may not get. (Humans are
unpredictable.) As important as asking the right question is to do it in the
right manner and time frame. Asking incredible questions is skill like any
other ability, it takes practice. Here are four techniques to getting the
information you want to know in any situation:
Don’t ask yes or no questions: When you ask a yes
or no question, you will most often get incomplete information. Instead, ask an
open-ended question. By using an open-ended question you get insights and
additional information you might not have known existed. Questions with
“would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think” all lead to yes or no.
Questions with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why” lead to people
giving some thought to their answers and provide much more information.
Dig deeper for information: Always consider
using follow-up questions. Unless you are looking strictly for the facts, there
is sometimes more information available in the answer the person gives you. Ask
them a follow up question such as, “What makes you say that?” or “Why do you
think that?” Follow up questions give you insight and let you make your own
opinions about things.
Use the power of silence: Start getting
comfortable with asking a question, waiting for a response, listening to the
response, and then waiting some more. Many times the person you are questioning
has more information, and will bring it out when you wait for it. You have to
be comfortable with that silent period before the “real” information comes out.
Police and military interrogators use silence very effectively. People feel a
need to fill the holes in the conversation and often they will then bring out
the critical bit of information you seek.
Don’t interrupt, but listen: Don’t interrupt the
person with whom you are talking. First, it tells the person you don’t value
what they are saying. Interrupting stops their thought flow, and directs the
conversation the way you want not necessarily the way it should go. Ask your
question, and then let the person answer it in full even when you think you are
not getting the answer you want.
Listen fully to what
they are saying, and use that to direct them back to the topic in the next
question when there is a natural pause. If time is of the essence and the
person has long strayed from the topic, then of course you need to interrupt.
Be as polite as possible when doing it. This shows the person that you do
respect what they are saying. Say something like, “Excuse me, I want to make
sure I understand you. What I heard you say is…” and then bring them back on
point to the matter at hand.
“No question is ever stupid. Stupid is the person who never asks.” (Anonymous)[i]
[i] Adapted from:
· "How to Be Amazingly Good at Asking
Questions” by Mike Martel
· "Types of Questions: Sample Question
Types with Examples” by QuestionPro
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