Inspire

"If your actions inspire others to do more, to learn more, to dream more, or to become more, you are a leader." (John Quincy Adams)

At times I am reminded of all the people God’s has brought into my life for various reasons over the years. Many have been a blessing that makes me ask my heavenly Father: “What have I done to get so much better than I deserve from you?” Your kindness (and goodness) overwhelm me.

After my father died in a car accident in the summer of 1978, my mother made the important, life-changing decision to enroll her three children (Robert-14, Kim-12, and Jim-11) into Northside Christian School (of which Jack Willer was the principal at the time). I remember asking God to send me a male role model to help me as I traveled the road of manhood alone (without a father). Today as an older man, I thought God had forgotten the pleas of a scared teenage boy then. I now find my heavenly Father has always been faithful to provide me with what I needed (even when I felt He had forgotten me).

God had heard my request, and provided Mr. Willer (now 94) all those years ago.  I knew when I walked into school every weekday that Mr. Willer would be there smiling, encouraging me with his practical advice, and structure needed with the required school rules. When I graduated in 1982 from Northside Christian School, I was certain that if I ever needed Mr. Willer later in my life that he would be there for me.

In May of 2009, it was discovered that I had cancer.  My wife, Bobbi, put out a plea on Facebook to help get me to and from appointments as I could not drive at that time, and Bobbi had to work. Like a knight in shining armor, guess who shows up to save the day and come to my rescue by getting me to many of my "cancer" appointments? It was Mr. Willer (and his charming wife, Betty). Bobbi and I adore our close friendship with Mr. Willer, and look forward to getting reacquainted with his wife, Betty, in Heaven one day. (I’m sure we’ll have lots to talk about.)

There are qualities role models (like Jack) have in common with each other. If you believe you are a role model (or leader), look for these characteristics in your life:

Accountability-A good role model takes accountability for their actions and for the outcome of their plans. No one is perfect, and things don’t always work out as they should. You have to own your mistakes for opportunity so you can do better the next time. Accountability guides you towards mid-course adjustments. Accountability brings perspective, which is such an important quality in a good role model.

Commitment: Effective role models persist in spite of setbacks and failures. The goal is more important to them than giving up is. Once they have committed to a decision, it is most often as good as done. Commitment is one of the characteristics of a role model that makes them a good example. It means they are reliable and worth looking up to.

Role models possess a committed nature that is loyal and determined. At times, there will be certain circumstances where a commitment may no longer serve them. This is where being dynamic becomes even more important. A role model will consider carefully before they commit. Once committed, especially when others are relying on them, they will come through.

Confidence: Confidence is a role model quality of belief that pushes a simple “yes” from the mind out into the world. One of the best ways to build confidence is exhibit a positive attitude and to teach through encouragement. Setting high expectations and showing disappointment to someone’s failure to reach them is only setting them up for failure.

Rewarding hard work towards goals with kind words and praising effort. These things build confidence. Confident role models teach confidence. Even if they aren’t certain of how to do something, successful people will be confident that it can both be done if they put research and effort into it.

Dynamic: Flexibility is not just a physical quality. It is also one of the important characteristics of a role model. A person that is willing to vary their strategy, and mold themselves into whatever is best for what they wish to achieve is acting with a dynamic mentality. In life, trying only one approach in every situation is an easy way to fail. A great role model will know when to become relaxed, mindful, focused, dedicated, irreverent, humorous, intense, and any other state of being that helps to better manifest their intentions.

Healthy lifestyle: A proper diet and plenty of exercise not only helps you live longer, it improves your brain function, gives you energy, and allows you to experience more of life. This is an important characteristic of a good role model.

Honesty: Sometimes being honest is one of the hardest things to do especially when it comes to past mistakes and missteps. It shows you have made mistakes, but you’ve worked to do better. Honesty is one of the most important character traits a role model can have demonstrating it is a good way to gain trust.

Showing a more vulnerable side of you and being honest even when it’s hard, is the best way to teach others to do the same. Honesty in a role model extends beyond just the words you speak. It also includes making your life an open book. People should feel comfortable asking you anything and understanding who you are. Keeping secrets about things that can help someone learn to be a better person won’t benefit either of you.

Respectful: Respect is the art of understanding, accepting, considering and honoring one’s surroundings. An ideal role model respects themselves and all others. If they were to be challenged by anything, they would respond with understanding, empathy, and proper consideration of the results of their actions. Compassion and concern for others means that the role model will respect the needs of those that rely on him.

Self-improvement: The only way to grow and become a better person is to continually work on improving yourself and your minds through education. Don’t be afraid to try new experiences, participate in conversations, and read books that open your mind to new ideas. This teaches to never stop growing as well.

Making a habit of self-improvement allows growth and learning new things that can provide a better life. A positive role model recognizes the importance of self-improvement and makes the growth mindset a way of life. They are constantly increasing their high standards as come close to meeting them. They are always striving improve.

Service-oriented: It’s important to teach that giving back to others in the community and beyond is necessary to be successful. The best role models volunteer their time and effort to be a contributing member of their community. Being of service in your community builds unity, teamwork skills, and creates a generous heart. Teach the importance of service by regularly volunteering your time for causes and charities that matter to your family.  

Willpower: Willpower is the ability to act through adversity for the sake of a greater purpose. Ideal role models will often have overcome unfortunate circumstances. They will gracefully deal with problematic situations in creative, intelligent ways to achieve their goals or overcome adversity.

The ability to pull passion from within to succeed is one of the admirable qualities of a role model. Learning to have and exhibit will power in the small situations helps to develop and display it when it comes to bigger situations where choices need to reflect our own values. Doing the right thing becomes a habit, which makes it easier even to avoid inappropriate behaviors in more challenging spots.

“A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent.” (Douglas MacArthur)[i]

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[i] Adapted from: “10 Characteristics of a Role Model“ by Scarlet Paolicchi

 

Betty and Jack Willer