Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Your Mood

“As a Highly Sensitive Person, I can sense your mood from a mile away. Don’t try to hide it. You’re not fooling me.” (Tracy M. Kusmierz)

Do you feel things more deeply than others seem to? Do you ever need to just withdraw and be alone? If so, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). This is someone who experiences sharp physical, mental, or emotional responses to stimuli. This can include external stimuli like your surroundings and the people you’re with, or internal stimuli, like your own thoughts, emotions and realizations. It’s remarked on by others with comments like, “You noticed that?” “Why does that bother you?” “It doesn’t seem that bad.” or “You’re too sensitive.”     

Being a HSP is a normal trait. Approximately 15 to 20 percent of the population has the gene that makes them HSP. HSP is a real, research-based characteristic. In psychology, anyone who tests as having a very high degree of Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), a personality trait, is considered HSP. SPS is the trait of deeply processing experiences and stimuli, and a person with high SPS has differences at the neural level.

Being a HSP comes with both advantages and disadvantages. HSP tend to be empathetic, artistically creative, intuitive, and highly aware of the needs of others so much so that many thrive in careers as therapists, counselors, artists, musicians, and writers. HSP get exhausted, and sense the emotional cues of the people around them. Loud, crowded, or visually busy spaces can overwhelm HSP (any strong sensory input can). Because of their need to spend time alone, HSP are often confused with introverts. The truth is that anyone can be highly sensitive whether introverted, extroverted, or anywhere in between.

If you are a HSP, the world desperately needs more people like you:

·        HSP help those around them process their emotions (and get their needs met). Is it possible that HSP play a vital role serving as the “emotional processor” for the rest of the group? HSPs serve as sounding boards, they build up their friends with encouragement, they react sincerely and empathetically to struggles, and they help see connections you wouldn’t have seen on your own. Your sensitivity is your greatest trait.

 

·        HSPs offer cooperative and compassionate leadership. While many HSPs dislike the competitive nature of the business world, others are actively working to change it. Sensitive leaders tend to listen more to their team, clearly express the reasons for their decisions, and pay attention to the strengths and preferences of those they work with. They are big on encouraging words and building compromise. They allow employees to vent when needed without reprimand. HSP may be in the minority, but they might be the best leaders (and bosses) you’ll ever have.
 

·        HSPs see shades of emotion that no one else sees (and use them to enrich the world). Most people might not think they can relate to HSP, but chances are good that their favorite songs, paintings, and stories were created by HSP. HSPs are endowed with the power to reach into the world of feelings and dreams, and distill them as eye-opening moments for others.

Everyone has different things that irritate them to varying degrees. If you're a HSP, you might notice that many of the following items below have always aggravated you:
·        Bright lights-It might sound silly to be annoyed by lighting, and yet light can be huge triggers for HSP. You might find that you're extra affected by strong lights, which can seem way too bright. You're tuned into your surroundings, and as a result feel easily over-stimulated.

·        Criticism-HSP feels annoyed by criticism (not because they don't want to hear someone's opinion, or that they don't find advice valuable). Their feelings get hurt easily. This might be because HSP feel much deeper than others tend to. If this happens to be you, it'll be important to establish boundaries with others and "protect your energy." Practice hearing criticism without taking it personally.

·        Crowded places-While some people thrive in busy environments, a HSP will find them to be utterly annoying and overwhelming. Think along the lines of crowded parties, loud concerts, or busy streets. They are unable to handle this for long periods of time without options to retreat. This is may explain why HSP require more downtime, or consider themselves an introvert at heart.

·        Faint background noises-Like the sound of someone chewing, most people barely notice repetitive background noises such as the sound of a ticking clock. If you're a HSP, things like this can drive you crazy. This one is torture because it just doesn’t stop. Repetitive sounds are like nails on a chalkboard. It can be highly distracting.

·        Loud chewing-If you're easily annoyed by the sound of someone chewing, swallowing audibly, or slurping a drink, it might feel like you're overreacting. And yet this is something many HSP struggle with. The slow chomp-chomp-chomp of a coworker at lunch can be hard to tune out. HSP hear every slurp and lip smack. Since HSP is sensitive to subtleties in their environment, they may more easily notice things in a room that are out of place or people chewing loudly.

·        Negative news stories-HSP might find the news to be upsetting particularly when it’s negative because HSP have a hard time disengaging. Instead of watching and separating your feelings from what's happening on screen, HSP get sucked in, feel angry, sad, or annoyed as a result. HSP are often much happier when they turn it all off, and take a break from media. If you find that you're feeling annoyed, don't be afraid to tune out for a while and give yourself a chance to rejuvenate.

·        Rude social interactions-Throughout the day, we all witness people who fail to hold open doors, say hello, or stand politely in busy lines. It's annoying for everyone, but for HSP these social interactions can be dreadful. HSP have the gift of thoughtfulness. They consider how actions impact environment. It's annoying when people behave in a way that serves them, but is inconvenient or harmful to others.

·        Sensitivity to jokes-Nobody likes to be the punch line of a joke. HSP might read into even the most lighthearted joking. And this goes for witnessing it happen to other people, too. HSP's amazing empathy causes them to consider a words' impact on others. If someone tells a joke at someone else's expense, they'll be able to imagine how hurtful that is. HSPs are more likely to be annoyed by this than think it's funny. It's important to recognize this in yourself. While you don't have to hang around people who make you uncomfortable, it can help to recognize when someone is just trying to have fun.

·        Strong smells-If you find that you're completely overwhelmed by strong scents (whether it's someone's perfume, a powerful household cleaner, or a particularly pungent room spray) you might be a HSP. HSP senses are strong: smell, touch, audio, tactile, and even emotional sensitivities. It can help to avoid these scents, perhaps by asking those around you to not overdo it. HSP might avoid use of harsh cleaners or heavy perfumes.

·        Unexpected loud noises-If you're a HSP, you may find that unexpected loud noises (like cars honking) startle you to an extreme degree. If they're happening in the background repeatedly, you might find that you can't ignore them. The sensory system of the HSP is tightly wound up. There is no preparation for that sensory onslaught, and the reaction is anger. It causes anxiety in many people with these sensitivities.

·        Unrealistic expectations-If you're a HSP, unrealistic expectations (such as a full social calendar, or a tight deadline at work) can feel completely overwhelming, frustrating, and upsetting due to the way you think and react to stimuli. HSPs prefer to approach tasks methodically and reflect more deeply before responding. Their nervous system may also be more likely to feel physiological responses to stress when overstimulated.

“Many highly sensitive people need to excuse themselves from demanding environments, often having a ‘refuge’ where they can be alone and ‘ground’ their reactions.” (Highly Sensitive Refuge)[i]



[i] Sources used:

·        “19 Habits of Highly Sensitive People” by Lauren Valko

·        “If You're Easily Annoyed By These 11 Things, You Might Be A Highly Sensitive Person” By Carolyn Steber
·        “What Is a Highly Sensitive Person? (A Relatable Guide)” by Highly Sensitive Refuge
 

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