Why do we hold on to things that are no longer relevant in your lives? Why is it so difficult to let go of experiences that have caused us pain and suffering? Do you want to be free emotionally, and know the open-heartedness and enthusiasm for life that come with making peace with the past? Learning to let go of the past means stepping into the unknown future, and having the courage to let go of what is familiar (even if it’s negative) and being vulnerable enough to embrace and learn from what’s ahead.
Are you limited by distrust, neediness, and a stunted view of what is possible for you. You can learn how to move on from the past and start living a life full of more joy and freedom. Many of us get stuck in the past because of your need for certainty. We all need to feel certain that we can avoid pain, and find some comfort in your lives.
It’s difficult to learn how to let go of the past has to do with the way we link emotion to information. Information with emotion makes an indelible impression. When there is still emotion tied to a memory, learning to let go of the past becomes increasingly difficult. How is not learning to let go of the past impacting your relationships, your lives and your happiness? Here are 9 ways to opening the door of your life to a more joyful expression of you:
Let go of anger-While almost all of your
emotions are manageable, the toughest one to deal with is anger. You’ll want to
blame and hold responsible all the people who contributed to your suffering.
You will walk around with unresolved pain and a burning sensation of injustice.
You can’t move on until you forgive. The burning anger in your heart burns only
within; it doesn’t affect the people you’re angry at. Being angry at others
only makes you more unhappy and miserable. Don’t let the people who contributed
to your downfall continue hurting you. Forgive them no matter how terrible the
trespass. Breathe a sigh of relief and welcome in peace again.
Let go of attacking yourself-It’s one of the easiest things to do when your life falls apart. We want to blame, scold and attack
you. Your family did this to you when you
a child, and now you do it to yourself naturally. You attacking you is not going to
help the situation. Instead of tearing yourself down and blaming yourself, give
yourself some credit for knowing how to get out of the situation you’re in. You
have the creativity, resilience, and ability to move forward. You’ve done this
before. Remind yourself
that you’re worthy, able and smart enough to get through this situation. You
may have made mistakes that landed you here, but you’re smart enough to learn
from those mistakes and not repeat them in the future.
Let go of comparisons-It’s not life’s circumstances that make us feel bad,
but your own life in
comparison to everyone else we know. We are a culture that uses your friends and neighbors as a
measuring rod for your own personal success. Personal success doesn’t mean
doing what others are doing. It’s figuring out what you want and doing that. Don’t measure success by where
you need to be at this point in your life. Measure success by being able to
do what you want and living a life that’s true to you. Don’t let society be the
measuring rod; go within and pursue your heart’s desires.
Let go of expectations-Expectations are the silent killers of happiness and
life. Don’t you wish that everything worked out exactly as you imagined it?
Don’t you miss all the wonderful possibilities of what could have been? You can spend a lifetime thinking
about how good things could have been and how they didn’t turn out as you’d
hoped. Then again, you could wake up 15 years later and realize that you should
have abandoned the expectations and practiced acceptance. Instead of feeling sad about how
things didn’t work out, practice being grateful for how things did turn out. Don’t play society’s games and
don’t let outside forces measure you. True happiness comes from within: from
your being able to accept life’s twists and turns.
Let go of feeling helpless-Instead of going
to bed or disappearing from the world, why not take some time to rest, reflect, and refresh? You can overcome feelings of
helplessness by checking in with yourself and thinking about the life you want.
You can rebuild from the ground up and create the life you have been craving. If your life falls apart, know that you have the creativity
and freedom to design a more intentional life. Take the small steps. Make the
internal shifts and work toward a new and improved life for yourself.
Let go of grudges-Step away from grudges and, for
the sake of your life, seek to understand. Try to see each person who wronged
you in the best light. Instead of silent wishes that fate run over each perpetrator,
whisper silent prayers of forgiveness. Say, “I forgive you, I let go of
you from my life and I wish you well. I thank you for the lessons you have
taught me and for contributing to my growth.”
Let go of hopelessness-You can view the world through two pairs of lenses. One pair of lenses –
the one we pick up most often – is gloom and doom. Everything is falling apart
and your life is over. The other pair of lenses is the sense that this setback
– even though it’s a serious one – is simply preparing you for something
greater. In this setback is something good. In this setback are a message and
a lesson for you to learn. This setback is going to turn your life’s low point
into your high point. You’re not going
to fall further (as you fear). Instead, you’re going to rise higher.
Let go of the pain-It’s easy to
nurse your pain and hold onto it for much longer than necessary. Feel the
intense feelings that overcome your body and spirit. Cry as much as you need
to. Feel as much as you want to and experience the intensity of the pain. Talk
to a counselor or friend who can help you unload the feelings of guilt, shame,
and anger. Write down the heavy feelings so they are off your chest. Emotional pain is a like a heavy
anchor that weighs you down. You can gain your momentum again only when you
lessen its grip on you.
Let go of what was-You can continue watching the past over and over. It’s a lovely exercise
that makes you feel warm and fuzzy until you realize you’ve wasted years of
your life holding onto the past. You can stop living in your past by becoming
aware of every time you daydream about happier days gone by. Remember – it
likely wasn’t that happy. We have a tendency to hold onto the good stuff and
let go of the hellish memories. Catch yourself each time you do it and bring
yourself back to what you were doing today. Immerse yourself in whatever
activity you’re engaged in right now. Practice mindfulness so you’re no longer
living in a time that doesn’t exist anymore.
“This is life. Things get taken away. You will
learn to start over many times — or you will be useless.” (Mitch Albom)[i]
[i] Sources used:
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