To be true to yourself means to act in
accordance with who you are and what you believe. Just as you cannot love
anyone else until you love yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else until
you respect yourself. Do not pretend to be someone else for the sake of gaining
acceptance. When you do things
that are not genuine or a reflection of the real you, you will not be happy
with yourself. You'll be confused because you won't know whom to please.
When you are true to yourself, you allow your individuality and uniqueness to shine through. You respect the opinions of others, but do not conform to their expectations of you. Be true to the very best that is in you and live your life consistent with your highest values and aspirations. Those who are most successful in life have dared to creatively express themselves and in turn, broaden the experiences and perspectives of everyone else. We learn it’s more important to appear successful in relation to others than to feel excited or fulfilled within ourselves.
Don’t be the kind of person who gives in to popular opinion,
or lets other people dictate your choices. Don’t waste time trying to be good
enough for others instead of doing what’s right for you. Take your rules, live
on your own terms, and be bold. This means peeling away the layers of fear and
conditioning and being true to what you believe is right. It’s hard to do this
because those layers are pretty heavy, or so transparent you don’t even realize
they’re there. You know you’re being true to yourself if….
Some people like you, some people don’t, and you’re okay
with that-Though you may wish, at times, you could please
everyone—because it feels a lot safer to receive validation than
disapproval—you understand that being disliked by some is a natural byproduct
of being genuine. This doesn’t mean you justify being rude and disrespectful
because you’re just being yourself. It just means you know you’re not for everyone; you’d rather be disliked for who you are than liked for
who you’re not; and you understand the only way to find a community is to get
the ones out that belong in someone else’s.
You allow yourself to change your mind if you recognize you
made a choice that wasn’t right for you-You may feel
embarrassed to admit you’re changing directions, but you do it anyway because you’d rather risk being
judged than accept a reality that feels wrong for you. Whether it’s a move that
you realize you made for the wrong reasons, a job that isn’t what you expected,
or a commitment you know you can’t honor in good conscience, you find the
courage to say, “This isn’t right, so I’m going to make another change.”
You allow yourself to evolve and let go of what you’ve
outgrown-This is probably the hardest one of all because it’s not
just about being true to you. It’s also about letting go. It’s about
recognizing when something has run its course and being brave enough to end the
chapter, even if you don’t know yet what’s coming next even if the void feels
dark and scary. But you, you recognize that the void can also feel light and
thrilling. That empty space isn’t always a bad thing because it’s the breeding
ground for new possibilities—for fulfillment, excitement, passion, and joy. And
you’re more interested in seeing who else you can be and what else you can do
than languishing forever in a comfortable life that now feels like someone
else’s.
You do what feels right for you even if that means risking
approval from the people around you-Not only do you
trust that you know what’s best
for you, you do it even if it’s
not a popular choice, or people question your judgment, vision, or sanity. You
recognize that no one else is living your life, and no one else has to live
with the consequences of your choices so you make them for you and let the consequences
fall where they may when it comes to public perception. This doesn’t
necessarily mean you have everything you want in life. It just means you hear
the beat of your own drum, even if it’s silent like a dog whistle to everyone
else, and you march to it—maybe slowly or awkwardly, but with your flag raised
high.
You focus more on
your own values than what society deems acceptable-You’ve
read the plan for a socially acceptable life—climb the corporate ladder, have a lavish wedding, buy a big house, and make some babies—but you’ve seriously
questioned whether this is right for you. Maybe it is, but if you go this route, it’s because this plan aligns with
your own values, not because it’s what you’re supposed to do. You know your
values are your compass in life, and that they change over time. So you check
in with yourself regularly to be sure you’re living a life that doesn’t just
look good on paper but also feels good in your heart.
You freely share your thoughts and feelings-Even
if you’re afraid of judgment or tempted to lie just to keep the peace, you push
yourself to speak up when you have something that needs to be said. You refuse
to stuff your feelings down just to make other people feel comfortable. You’re
willing to risk feeling vulnerable and embarrassed because you know that your feelings are valid, and that sharing them is the key to healing what’s hurting
or fixing what isn’t working.
You honor your needs and say no to requests that conflict
with them-You know what you need to feel physically, mentally, and
emotionally balanced, and you prioritize those things, even if this means
saying no to other people. Sure, you might sometimes make sacrifices, but you
understand it’s not selfish to honor your needs and make them a priority. You
also know your needs don’t have to look like anyone else’s. It’s irrelevant to
you if someone else can function on four hours of sleep, work around the clock,
or pack their schedule with social engagements. You do what’s right for you,
and take good care of yourself because you recognize you’re the only one who
can.
You listen to your intuition and trust that you know what’s
best for yourself-You not only hear the voice inside that says, “No that’s not
right for you,” you trust it. Because you’ve spent a lot of time learning to
distinguish between the voice of truth and fear, you recognize the difference
between holding yourself back and waiting for what feels right. You might not
always make this distinction immediately, and you might sometimes be swayed by
well-meaning people who want to protect you from the risks of thinking outside
the box. But eventually, you tune out the noise and hone in on the divine voice
that truly knows what’s best for you.
You surround yourself with people who respect and support
you just as you are-You understand that the people
around you affect you, so you surround yourself with people who respect and
support you, which motivates you to continue being true to yourself. You may
have people in your life who don’t do these things, but if you do, you
understand their issues with you are just that—their issues. And you set boundaries with them so that they
don’t get in your head and convince you there’s something wrong with you or
your choices.
You’re honest with yourself about what you think, feel,
want, and need-You understand that you have to be honest with yourself
before you can be honest with anyone else. This means you make space in your
life to connect with yourself, perhaps through meditation, journaling, prayer,
or time in nature. This also means you face the harsh realities you may be
tempted to avoid. You’re alert when faced with hard choices—like whether or not to leave a
relationship that doesn’t feel right—so you can get to the root of your fear.
You might not always do this right away, or easily, but you’re willing to ask
yourself the tough questions most of us spend our lives avoiding: Why am I
doing this? What am I getting from this? And what would serve me better?
“The most
confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something that we
know in our hearts is a lie.” (Karen Moning)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“10 Signs You’re Being True to Yourself” By Lori
Deschene
·
“Be True to Yourself!” By Z. Hereford
·
“How to Stay True to Yourself” co-authored by Trudi Griffin
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