Culture

“Sex differences may be natural, but gender differences have their source in culture.” (Ann Oakley)Share to

From the very beginning, males and females have been different. God designed Eve to match Adam in most respects, but also to be different from him in others. Though differences existed, there was still the prospect of Adam and Eve complementing one another in a close relationship. Their differences could be used to strengthen one another. Communication was a key tool for this to happen.

Unfortunately, in the fall, God’s design for males and females has been distorted. Now, the differences between males and females can be exaggerated, resulting in unnecessary division between the genders. The differences between males and females can be ignored, yielding confusion about the whole concept of “gender.” In both cases, communication is a key tool contributing to the division and the confusion.

There is a distinct and clear difference in how males and females are designed. Every branch of science from neuroscience to anthropology now confirms something the Bible has laid out all along. We believe that those differences are good and there for a reason. God has an intended framework for what a man should be and what a female should be. Every part of our identities is affected by how we live out our design.

The distinction between male and female is real and deeply rooted in human nature and physiology. Research indicates that it’s universal from culture to culture and that it finds expression in almost every area of life. The gender qualities listed below represent a good starting point for a basic understanding of what being a male or a female means.

A male’s direction to his life tends to be external. 

·     Active and aggressive-There’s an obvious connection between initiation and active aggression. In light of this, it’s interesting to note that the male brain is two-and-a-half times larger and more vital in the center devoted to aggression and action than the female brain.

·     Competitive and dominant- Males want the best and will expend incredible energy toward getting it.

·     Determined to complete- A man places great stock in knowing that he has what it takes to complete the quest and accomplish the task at hand.

·     Explorative-Every male is on a quest. He discovers his identity in the world where he senses his larger destiny lie.

·     Initiator- All of this presumes a certain willingness and ability to make things happen. It also suggests that leadership, while not necessarily an exclusively male prerogative, is nevertheless more deeply rooted in the nature of the male.

·     Needs to know what’s next-Unlike a female, he isn’t inclined to savor meaningful experiences, or to linger in the moment. Generally speaking, he’s anxious to move on to the next thing.

·     Opportunistic-To put it another way, the male is a doer; and in the final analysis, his feelings about what he’s doing or his reasons for doing it are less important to him than the urge and the opportunity to get it done.

·     Takes chances- To seize and make the most of his opportunities, a male must be willing to take chances. Accordingly, a propensity to run a certain degree of risk is fundamental to his character.

A female’s viewpoint tends to be more inwardly directed.

·         Caring-The female is more naturally inclined to respond to the distressed, the needy, or the hurting with immediate compassion and care.

·         Connecting- The female is wired to connect with others on many different levels.

·         Deep confidence- Unlike the male, who must go out into the world to find his destiny, the female possesses her future within herself. She has a hidden but deep confidence in this.

·         Desires equity and submission-A female wants to be a man’s equal, but an equal of a very special kind. At a deep and fundamental level she has a strong desire to be led, protected, and cared for.

·         Prefers modesty- A confident female knows that she possesses something very precious and valuable – the power of her femininity – and she is driven by an innate desire to protect it. Modesty is fundamental to her nature.

·         Seeks security- Because her orientation is inward, toward relationships, the female of the species puts a premium on safety and security. To a far greater extent than the male, she values qualities like “dependability” and “trustworthiness” in a potential mate.

·         Uses words-Males talk to communicate information or ideas. Women talk to communicate feelings and thoughts. As a result, women tend to use more words than male.

·         Values intimacy above action-A female cares more about being than doing, and she finds the reason for her being in relationship.

·         Wields “soft power” which shapes humanity-Women have the ability to wield great and subtle influence in marriage and domestic relationships.

·         Wisely receptive- Though she values relationships above all else, a female does not enter into them indiscriminately. She chooses slowly and receives wisely.

 “In order to gain gender equality, women and men must work together equally to teach our daughters and sons to embrace our differences, respect each other’s opinions, and remove stereotypes to what a girl or boy should aspire.” (Basia Christ)[i]

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[i] Sources used:

·        “Key Differences Between Male and Female” by Focus on the family

·         “Speak wisely: Gender communication preferences” by Dr. Jeff Forrey

·        “The Wonderful Differences Between Men and Women” by Shaunti Feldhahn & Robert Lewis