Effective communication is an achievable goal that helps facilitate innovation, and problem-solving. Strong communication is not a superior ideal limited only to giving great comments in a meeting. Sometimes practicing effective communication means you’re talking less and listening more.
One of the quickest ways to shut down communication is to
interrupt. When someone repeatedly interrupts others it not only derails
communication, but it also diminishes the trust and respect people have for
them. Below are a wide variety of tips to prevent communication interruptions:
·
Accept the group style. Conversations
among equals who are highly engaged can include lots of interruptions. If
you’re new to the group, less confident or less knowledgeable, it’s fine to
take the floor once or twice and make it clear you don’t want to be interrupted
— but since you’re changing the group pattern, you should do so cautiously.
·
Address the
issue. Say, “Please let me speak.” The goal isn’t to overcome your
interrupter with anger but to be
firm and clear. You can be polite and hold your ground. It’s all about your
tone and body language.
Accompanied by a smile, “I’m glad you’re dying to chime in, but I’m not done
yet” doesn’t have to be hostile. It’s just as direct and probably more
effective and impressive than saying “Shut up and let me talk.”
·
Allow others to hold you
accountable. Let them know you’re working on reducing your interruptions and be
open to their feedback. The positive side effect could be that you will
help raise their awareness and they will also be more willing to resist
interrupting you.
·
Ask yourself
whether you’re the problem. Have you been taking the conversation or
rambling? Have you ever gotten frustrated with someone who includes too many
details, indulges tangents, forgets his point, or lectures? Could you share any
of those tendencies? It may not be obvious to you, but frequent interruptions
may be a sign that you’re hard to listen to and can do better.
·
Just keep
talking. If you like, you can say to your interrupter, “One moment,” and
finish your thought. Or you can just keep talking as if you haven’t heard the
interruption. This may seem combative, but if other people are listening, they
may appreciate your persistence.
·
Keep your mouth closed, literally.
Practice keeping your lips together and don’t open them. Do not talk until
someone asks for your thoughts. This is almost guaranteed to give you a
reputation of possessing wisdom. When you catch yourself talking over someone,
graciously say, “I’m sorry, you were about to say…” (and then close your mouth
again.)
·
Let it
go. Remember that in the moment you may not recognize that an interruption
is actually helpful and supportive. Even annoying interruptions don’t have to
annoy you. Fighting back will take time and may distract you both from a more
important goal. Choose your battles.
·
Not listening – a passive-aggressive
form of interruption because the speaker is unlikely to finish what they’re
saying when they realize you’re not engaged in the dialog.
·
Place a greater priority on
listening for understanding than on trying to be understood. Develop a
mindset of “It’s all about others. "When people feel listened to they tend to
talk less. If they don’t think you’re really hearing them, they’ll keep talking
to try to get through. When you interrupt, you’re telling the other person that
what they have to say is not important. That will hinder real
communication.
·
Quickly assess the importance of
what you are about to blurt out. When the person stops speaking, count to
five while asking yourself, “Is what I have to say absolutely critical to the
conversation?” Your answer will be “no” most of the time. Adding too much value
– the overwhelming desire to add your two cents to every discussion makes it
hard to keep quiet. Telling the world how smart you are – trying to prove
you’re smart may cause you to interject your commentary too often.
·
Recognize the
value of an interrupter’s contributions. Some chronic interrupters really
have a lot to say. They’re super-smart, their brains are moving fast, and they
interrupt to keep things moving at a faster clip. Your impulse may be to clam
up. But you can make those interruptions useful. Ask a question or two so you
and others can be sure you catch your interrupter’s idea. After the answer,
reassert yourself. Humoring greedy interrupters very occasionally helps them
calm down and let you get back to your point. You can build on your
interrupter’s contribution and end up with a richer exchange. You’ll come off
as calm, gracious, curious, and focused on the subject rather than yourself.
·
Remember, you alienate people rather
than impress people when you interrupt. Others will come away from
conversations with you feeling frustrated, annoyed and unsatisfied. However, if
you listen twice as much as you talk, people are likely to consider you a
brilliant conversationalist.
·
Write your thoughts down so you don’t
forget. While this may not be possible in a spontaneous conversation, it
is effective if you know in advance that you will be engaging in a discussion.
Writing down a quick note to remind yourself to bring up a point or question
will free up your mind to continue listening until the other person is
finished.
·
You might interrupt because you
genuinely want to be helpful or positively influence a conversation. The
irony is that you will have more influence by being a good listener and waiting
to be asked what you think than you will by interrupting others.
“You are not crazy
if you talk to yourself or if you answer yourself. You are only crazy if you
interrupt your own conversation.” (Anonymous)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“10 Tips to Help You Stop Interrupting” by Todd E. Linaman
·
“Effective Communication in the Workplace:
Using Interruptions Wisely” Dave Root
·
“How to Deal with People Who Interrupt” by Temma Ehrenfeld
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