Friday, May 3, 2019

Lucky

“A best friend is like a four leaf clover-hard to find, lucky to have.” (Irish Proverb) -

Did you know that people without friends are more likely to die earlier? With family, the relationships are there whether you like them or not. Friendship is different. Your friends are people you select based on shared values, ideals, experiences, interests, and beliefs. Your friends are your chosen family. It's important to have friends who represent the different stages of your life and the paths that you've taken. When you maintain friendships from different stages of your life, you're able to express more of your real self.
"Friendship" is a pretty vague word. You generally don't even know everything you want from your relationships to feel whole — you just know something's missing. There's a gap. The majority of the time, no one friend offers you everything you need from your relationships. Some of your friends are great listeners, but they're not always there when you need them. Others are intensely loyal, but just not that great at helping you out of trouble.

The following eight types of diverse, well-rounded, vital friends are just what you need to stay healthy. Let's at the eight friendship types and understand what they are, learn where you might meet the ones that are missing, and find out how to strengthen your relationships with the ones you already have. We'll also look at what you should do to be better at the role which you play in the lives of others.

1.   A Brutally Honest Confidant-There is certain situations in life where we need to hear the harsh truth. That’s what the brutally honest confidant is for. If you’re in a rocky relationship and everyone’s telling you that it’s perfectly normal that you’re back with that special someone for the 8th time in the last 2 years, the brutally honest confidant is there to tell you, “Enough. Stop with all that break-up-and-get-back-together drama. You deserve better.” Friends are supposed to be honest with each other. If you find someone who is brutally honest with you (in a constructive way), then hold on to this person. People like that are hard to come by these days.

2.   A Fearless Adventurer-We live in a big world where there are so many places to see, people to meet, and experiences to be had, yet so many of us are stuck in our own routines and forget to live. We all need an adventurous friend who will pull you out of our self and introduce you to new ideas, cultures, philosophies, and activities.

 
3.   A Friend from a Different Culture-The last thing you want to be described as is someone who’s stuck in their own ways. If everyone had a friend from a different culture, the world would be a much better place. Being in a cross-cultural friendship allows you to explore customs, values, and traditions outside of your own culture. Sometimes you might even adopt new ways to do things.

 
Be careful; don’t befriend someone just because they’re from a different culture. No one likes to be a token friend. Instead, keep your mind open, and if you come across someone you click with who just so happens to be from a different culture, make the effort to learn about their customs, values, and traditions while getting to know the person on a personal level.

4.   A Friendly Neighbor-These days, a lot of people don’t know their own neighbors. It’s a shame, because some neighbors can be the nicest and most helpful people ever. If you’re on a vacation, and you suddenly realize that you forgot to lock the front door, you can call up your neighbor and ask them to head over to your house and lock it for you. Nice dependable neighbors who have each other’s backs are a dying breed, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t introduce yourself to the new neighbors across the street.

 
5.   A Loyal Best Friend-Sometimes a loyal best friend is the only thing you need to stay sane. Everyone needs a non-judgmental friend who will support them no matter what. This is the kind of friend who lets you be your imperfect self and knows all of your deepest and darkest secrets, but still loves you all the same.

6.   A Polar Opposite-We humans are hard-wired to get together in groups and attack outsiders — the human pack mentality. If you only develop friendships with others who follow the same beliefs, customs, and values as you do, chances are you’re somewhat detached from the rest of the world, and you’re more likely to continue stereotypes on anyone who holds a different world view from you.

Instead of constantly surrounding yourself with like-minded people, try to break out of your comfort zone and befriend people who hold opposing views. They will help open your eyes to different world views and you’ll learn to accept people who don’t see the world exactly the way you see it.

7.   A Wise Mentor-Jesse Jackson once said, “Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up.” If you have someone smart, inspiring, and admirable in your life that practices this philosophy, you’re extremely lucky. We all need a friend who inspires you to be better people without making you feel inadequate.

Plus, being around such a person will challenge you to better ourselves every day. The wise mentor in your life doesn’t have to be someone who shares the same occupation or hobbies with you. It’s simply someone who’s a few steps ahead of you in life and has enough wisdom and patience to guide you in the right direction. It can be anyone — a colleague, a friend who’s beyond their years, or an older neighbor — as long as you look up to this person and want to be more like them.

8.   A Work Pal-Did you know that with a full-time job, you spend at least 50% of your waking hours at work? Not only that, but you spend some more time commuting to work, thinking about work, working overtime, and furthering your career on your personal time.  Statistics show that the more isolated you are at work, the more depressed you get.

That’s why it makes sense to get a work pal to chat with and to help you get through the week. You’ll find work much easier to have someone who can relate to you than eating lunch alone every day. Your work pal doesn’t have to be your best friend outside of work. They just need to be someone you click with on some level, and if you two get along exceptionally well, you can always start hanging out with them outside of the office.

 
Some friends become like family. On the other hand, some friends become worse than enemies. They are defined as frenemies. (This is someone who pretends to be a friend, but is actually an enemy.)  They will become parasites in your life.

What happens when a friendship becomes toxic? A toxic friendship often is: unsupportive, draining, unrewarding, stifling, unsatisfying, is often unequal,  stresses you out, uses you, is unreliable, is overly demanding, and doesn’t give anything back. It may be time to sever the relationship. Could you be the victim of having one of these toxic friends?

1.   The Competitive Friend-There’s nothing wrong with a little friendly competition. However, the keyword here is friendly. When a friendship becomes more of a competition, it might be time to end it. This type of friend is always finding ways to compete, whether it’s for the attention, the approval of other friends, or for job-related praise. The Competitive Friend doesn’t have the ability to simply congratulate another friend on his/her accomplishments or positive news.

Everything is turned into a game of over accomplishment. Instead of sharing the happiness you have for landing a new job, it only becomes a chance for this person to ceaselessly brag about their own promotion. It seems that the self-image of the Competitive Friend is dependent upon the rivalry of the friendship. A healthy friendship doesn’t keep score of victories and losses.

2.   The Criticizer -You can’t seem to do anything right when you’re around this friend. She’s constantly criticizing you, from the way you dress to the way you speak. While these criticisms may come in the form of jokes at first, this type of friendship will eventually become draining, as you’ll always be on the defense against her attacks.

 

3.   The Depressing-Realist-A great friend can provide a wealth of support. There has to be balance in a friendship for it to be healthy. Not one person whose needs get met and another whose needs are overlooked. You may find that your friendship has unintentionally turned into a never-ending therapy session.

 
Whenever you attempt to share any positive news, this person counteracts with the negative. More often than not, you find yourself soothing insecurities. It’s one thing to look to a friend for reassurance. It’s another thing to use a friend as a personal ego-booster.

4.   The Gossip-Don’t tell anyone, but the next morning at work, you’ve got people at your desk wanting to know more about the secret that your friend swore to tell no one. Does this sound familiar? If so, then you might have unfortunately befriended The Gossip. Uncomfortable with vulnerability, this type of friend is constantly breaking your confidentiality.

 
5.   The Promise Breaker-She calls you and asks for a ride home from work. You readily oblige. A few weeks later, you find yourself in the same position. You call her. When she finally picks up, she promises to be there in five minutes. Five minutes fade into ten, twenty, and then thirty. She never shows up. The Promise Breaker is the type of friend who is constantly breaking promises, but still expects everything from you in return. This is a friend you don’t need to keep around.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”  (Eleanor Roosevelt) [i]



[i] Sources used:
·        8 Types of Friends You Need To Have in Your Life” by Chiara Fucarino

·        “Frenemy” from Merriam-Webster.com

·        “The 6 Types of Friends You Need (And the 3 You Can Do Without)” By Domonique Bertolucci


·        “The 8 kinds of friends you need to be happy in life” by Eric Barker

·        “Toxic Friends: The 5 Types of “Friends” You Should Avoid” Vanessa


 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Everything

  “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” (Saint Augustine) It shouldn’t be surprising th...