Did
you know that people without friends are more likely to die earlier? With family, the
relationships are there whether you like them or not. Friendship is different.
Your friends are people you select based on shared values, ideals, experiences,
interests, and beliefs. Your friends are your chosen family. It's important to
have friends who represent the different stages of your life and the paths that
you've taken. When you maintain friendships from different stages of your life,
you're able to express more of your real self.
"Friendship"
is a pretty vague word. You generally don't even know everything you want from
your relationships to feel whole — you just know something's missing. There's a
gap. The majority of the time, no one friend offers you everything you need
from your relationships. Some of your friends are great listeners, but they're
not always there when you need them. Others are intensely loyal, but just not
that great at helping you out of trouble.
The
following eight types of diverse, well-rounded, vital friends are just what you
need to stay healthy. Let's at the eight friendship types and understand what they
are, learn where you might meet the ones that are missing, and find out how to
strengthen your relationships with the ones you already have. We'll also look
at what you should do to be better at the role which you play in the lives of
others.
1.
A Brutally
Honest Confidant-There is certain situations in life where we need to hear
the harsh truth. That’s what the brutally honest confidant is for. If you’re in
a rocky relationship and everyone’s telling you that it’s perfectly normal that
you’re back with that special someone for the 8th time in the last 2 years, the
brutally honest confidant is there to tell you, “Enough. Stop with all that
break-up-and-get-back-together drama. You deserve better.” Friends are supposed
to be honest with each other. If you find someone who is brutally honest with
you (in a constructive way), then hold on to this person. People like that are
hard to come by these days.
2.
A Fearless
Adventurer-We live in a big world where there are so many places to
see, people to meet, and experiences to be had, yet so many of us are stuck in
our own routines and forget to live.
We all need an adventurous friend who will pull you out of our self and
introduce you to new ideas, cultures, philosophies, and activities.
3.
A Friend from a
Different Culture-The last thing you want to be described as is someone who’s
stuck in their own ways. If everyone had a friend from a different culture, the
world would be a much better
place. Being in a cross-cultural friendship allows you to explore customs,
values, and traditions outside of your own culture. Sometimes you might even
adopt new ways to do things.
Be careful; don’t befriend someone just because they’re from a different culture. No one likes to
be a token friend. Instead, keep your mind open, and if you come across someone
you click with who just so happens to be from a different culture, make the
effort to learn about their customs, values, and traditions while getting to
know the person on a personal level.
4.
A Friendly
Neighbor-These days, a lot of people don’t know their own neighbors.
It’s a shame, because some neighbors can be the nicest and most helpful people
ever. If you’re on a vacation, and you suddenly realize that you forgot to lock
the front door, you can call up your neighbor and ask them to head over to your
house and lock it for you. Nice dependable neighbors who have each other’s
backs are a dying breed, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t introduce yourself
to the new neighbors across the street.
5.
A Loyal Best
Friend-Sometimes a loyal best friend is the only thing you need to
stay sane. Everyone needs a non-judgmental friend who will support them no
matter what. This is the kind of friend who lets you be your imperfect self and
knows all of your deepest and darkest secrets, but still loves you all the
same.
6.
A Polar
Opposite-We humans are hard-wired to get together in groups and
attack outsiders — the human pack mentality. If you only develop friendships
with others who follow the same beliefs, customs, and values as you do, chances
are you’re somewhat detached from the rest of the world, and you’re more likely
to continue stereotypes on anyone who holds a different world view from you.
Instead of constantly surrounding yourself with like-minded
people, try to break out of your comfort zone and befriend people who hold
opposing views. They will help open your eyes to different world views and
you’ll learn to accept people who don’t see the world exactly the way you see
it.
7.
A Wise Mentor-Jesse
Jackson once said, “Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up.”
If you have someone smart, inspiring, and admirable in your life that practices
this philosophy, you’re extremely lucky. We all need a friend who inspires you
to be better people without making you feel inadequate.
Plus, being around such a person will challenge you to
better ourselves every day. The wise mentor in your life doesn’t have to be
someone who shares the same occupation or hobbies with you. It’s simply someone
who’s a few steps ahead of you in life and has enough wisdom and patience to
guide you in the right direction. It can be anyone — a colleague, a friend
who’s beyond their years, or an older neighbor — as long as you look up to this
person and want to be more like them.
8.
A Work Pal-Did you know that with a full-time job, you spend at least
50% of your waking hours at work? Not only that, but you spend some more
time commuting to work, thinking about work, working overtime, and furthering
your career on your personal time.
Statistics show that the more isolated you are at work, the more
depressed you get.
That’s why it makes sense to get a work pal to chat with and
to help you get through the week. You’ll find work much easier to have someone
who can relate to you than eating lunch alone every day. Your work pal doesn’t
have to be your best friend outside of work. They just need to be someone you
click with on some level, and if you two get along exceptionally well, you can
always start hanging out with them outside of the office.
What happens when a friendship becomes toxic? A toxic friendship often is: unsupportive, draining, unrewarding, stifling, unsatisfying, is often unequal, stresses you out, uses you, is unreliable, is overly demanding, and doesn’t give anything back. It may be time to sever the relationship. Could you be the victim of having one of these toxic friends?
1.
The Competitive Friend-There’s nothing wrong
with a little friendly competition. However, the keyword here is friendly. When a
friendship becomes more of a competition, it might be time to end it. This type
of friend is always finding ways to compete, whether it’s for the attention,
the approval of other friends, or for job-related praise. The Competitive
Friend doesn’t have the ability to simply congratulate another friend on
his/her accomplishments or positive news.
Everything
is turned into a game of over accomplishment. Instead of sharing the happiness
you have for landing a new job, it only becomes a
chance for this person to ceaselessly brag about their own promotion. It seems
that the self-image of the Competitive Friend is dependent upon the rivalry of
the friendship. A healthy friendship doesn’t keep score
of victories and losses.
2.
The Criticizer -You can’t seem to do
anything right when you’re around this friend. She’s constantly criticizing
you, from the way you dress to the way you speak. While these criticisms may
come in the form of jokes at first, this type of friendship will eventually
become draining, as you’ll always be on the defense against her attacks.
3.
The Depressing-Realist-A great friend can
provide a wealth of support. There has to be balance in a friendship for it to
be healthy. Not one person whose needs get met and another whose needs are
overlooked. You may find that your friendship has unintentionally turned into a
never-ending therapy session.
Whenever
you attempt to share any positive news, this person counteracts with the
negative. More often than not, you find yourself soothing insecurities. It’s
one thing to look to a friend for reassurance. It’s another thing to use a
friend as a personal ego-booster.
4.
The Gossip-Don’t tell anyone,
but the next morning at work, you’ve got people at your desk wanting to know
more about the secret that your friend swore to tell no one. Does this sound
familiar? If so, then you might have unfortunately befriended The Gossip.
Uncomfortable with vulnerability, this type of friend is constantly breaking
your confidentiality.
5.
The Promise Breaker-She calls you and
asks for a ride home from work. You readily oblige. A few weeks later, you find
yourself in the same position. You call her. When she finally picks up, she
promises to be there in five minutes. Five minutes fade into ten, twenty, and
then thirty. She never shows up. The Promise Breaker is the type of friend who
is constantly breaking promises, but still expects everything from you in
return. This is a friend you don’t need to keep around.
“Many people will walk in and out of
your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“8 Types of Friends You Need To Have in Your
Life” by
Chiara Fucarino
·
“Frenemy” from Merriam-Webster.com
·
“The 6 Types of Friends You Need (And the 3
You Can Do Without)” By Domonique Bertolucci
·
“The 8 kinds of
friends you need to be happy in life” by Eric Barker
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