You want to give a stranger a genuine compliment. The remark that comes out of your mouth sounds bizarre. Don’t give up on giving compliments. They’re needed for both the giver and the receiver. Getting a kind word feels just as good as getting cash. Complimenting others makes you feel happy too. It boosts your mood and increases your confidence.
Something that will never be forgotten is the random people that have gone out of their way to pay a compliment to someone. Kind words can make someone’s day. There's something about receiving compliments to and from complete strangers that is wonderful, but there is also something deeply satisfying about also giving compliments to people that you don't know.
Science already has
given you two good reasons to smile at other people. This action triggers mirror
neurons so that the other
person feels your happiness. What you do with your
body can affect your mood for better or worse. Complimenting someone else you don't know can
happen quickly. It seems like something no one would care about if you don’t do
it.
It has the power to
completely reshape someone's day for the better. Kind words can increase your
long-term positive thinking, up your courage, and encourage quick decision
making. This is all the more reason to make it a regular part of your daily
routine. Find somebody to encourage. It can have a huge effect, on giving you
these three major benefits:
1.
Thinking quickly gets
easier.
Trying
to compliment stranger’s means that you have to take in information and respond
very quickly. For instance, you might have only a few seconds to note what
they're wearing, the tone they use talking to their child, or that they
seem incredibly relaxed when everyone else seems a little tense. As you
practice coming up with appropriate questions or comments unexpectedly to
initiate the conversation and keep it going, you'll get better at analyzing and
deciding what to do next in other situations, too.
2.
You force yourself to
get out of your comfort zone. When you talk to people you already know,
you're at an advantage because you already have some insider information about
the listener. These tidbits of data help you say the "right" thing in
the "right" way. When you try to compliment or engage a stranger, you
have to start without any of that to guide you. You don't know if the response
is going to be "thank you", a disconnected grunt, or a distrusting
look of suspicion. You have to face this uncertainty, and be willing to get
past initial awkwardness.
3. Your
mindset becomes positive over time. Dopamine, a chemical that helps you feel happy, gets
released in anticipation of reward. While the reward actually doesn't have to be something
positive, the lesson is
that the dopamine will keep motivating you to repeat whatever you did or find
something new that’s stimulating. When you have pleasurable interactions with
others because you chose to compliment them, you essentially train your brain
to keep looking for more of what's positive in others and your environment.
This literally changes your brain so it's easier for you to stay upbeat.
If you’d like to
brighten a stranger’s day, try one of these compliments:
·
“I
appreciate how patient you were with that child.” Sometimes just
being a person in public is enough to fray your last nerve and seeing someone
go out of their way to accommodate another (like a
child kicking a seat or an elderly person counting out exact change) is worthy
of recognition even if it’s just a smile or a nod of the head.
·
“I’m so
glad we met.” Even if you just exchanged polite
greetings in the check-out lane of the grocery store, letting someone know that
they made you feel happy is an instant way to brighten both your days.
·
“That is
a fabulous ______.” Commenting on a stranger’s body isn’t a good idea
(heir weight, height, or bra size isn’t your business). Complimenting something
they personally chose, like their jewelry or shoes, that says something about
their style or personality, is always welcome.
·
“That’s
the best thing I’ve heard all day!”
Did a child tell you a joke? Did a fellow bus passenger share an interesting
piece of news? Did a coworker tell you about her dog having puppies? The
wonderful thing about this compliment is that applies to so many different
people and situations.
·
“You have
such a kind smile.” The one exception to the
no-commenting-on-people’s-bodies rule is their smile. As long as you’re not
commanding them to smile or being creepy (avoid things like saying how plump
their lips are), it will likely make them smile even more.
·
“You’re
really good at that.” Whether it’s the barber cutting
your hair, the hotel clerk, or an instructor at your gym, let people know that
you notice how much heart and talent they put into their work. They’re doing it
because they want to make a difference (and earn a paycheck, but helping others
is important to profit).
"People wonder why I give so many compliments out to strangers. I'm
not being fake, and I'm not looking for people to like me. But if I pass
someone and I like something, I say it. "Love those shoes!" or
"Great hair!" or "Wow your eyes are beautiful!" Why?
Because life is hard and this world can be a {horrible] place and people are mean. You never know
how much those few words mean to someone. You never know what hell they may be
going through; and when you put positivity out there into the universe you yourself
become a happier person. It's hard to be nice and be miserable yourself. It'll
reflect from the outside in. I'm telling you random compliment giving will
change your life; and maybe someone else's, too." (Anonymous)[i]
·
“3 Powerful Reasons to Compliment a Stranger Every Day (It's Not Just
about Being Nice)” by Wanda Thibodeaux
·
“52 Little Compliments That Will Make Your
Friends and Family Smile” by Charlotte Hilton Andersen
·
“Why You Should Compliment Strangers” by Lea Pensoy
This
post is dedicated to my Aunt Phyllis. I do this regularly. It’s a great feeling
to pleasantly surprise a stranger.
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