Convictions set us apart from animal the animal kingdom, and play a fundamental role in molding our character. Everybody has established within themselves certain convictions that help them become more of who they want to become. These convictions connect to everything in our lives. Stay true to your convictions. If there’s ever been a time in human history to be true to whom you are and stand up for what you believe in, it’s right now. Our culture needs it. The world needs it.
Without you realizing, you could be doing someone a favor (if they see you exhibiting the courage to live out your convictions), they’re much more likely to do the same, or at least consider it. And that’s the greatest change you could ever make in the world. How do you always stay true to your convictions in a world that seems to be lacking in them? Here are some suggestions:
1. Be able to
be tough-In order for you to stay true to what you
believe in and actively demonstrate that every day by choosing courage and
vulnerability with others, you’re going to face occasional opposition. You’re
going to encounter people who don’t at all agree with your convictions or align
with your convictions and are vocally intolerant of them.
You’re going to want to never speak out
about them again as a result because who likes confrontation? If that’s the
small cost of living an authentic life that consistently brings value to the
lives of others—whether they realize or accept it at the time—it’s undoubtedly
worth it. In response to these encounters, remember to be kind and compassionate.
Meet
their intolerance with acceptance. If you can, empathize. Their abhorrence for
your convictions is indicative of their life experiences. Your kindheartedness
may be the first step to helping them ask themselves what they believe in and
why, or at the very least, it could inspire them to be more tolerant of others'
convictions.
2. Be able to
demonstrate your convictions every day-When
you wake up every morning, you should ask yourself, no matter what your convictions
are, “How can I demonstrate them today? How can I implement my convictions in
everything I do, in every conversation I have with someone today?" It
sounds silly, but you’d be surprised how life-changing this is.
An overwhelming number of people go through
their whole lives regretting something they did decades before, allowing that
hardship to tell them who they are, to tell them what they should or shouldn’t
believe about themselves and about humanity, and that keeps them, every day,
from touching someone else's life.
You’re
worthy of believing in a greater good. Your experience is what makes your voice
so important. Use it, and use it loudly. You never know what life you could touch by simply being
the truest version of yourself and demonstrating your convictions unashamedly.
3. Be able to
walk yourself through regret- As scary
as that sounds, you have to address your past to be brave in the present. If
there are a lot of things in your past that you sincerely regret that you’ve
also never dealt with, whether it’s hurting someone or being the one who was
hurt, things you’ve done or things you’ve said, whatever it is, if those
memories and the misconceptions they’ve given you about yourself are keeping
you from being true to your convictions and being vocal about them—because you
don’t think you’re good enough, qualified enough, because you think your past
ruined it for you—you need to face them.
You need to come to the understanding that
there’s nothing you’ve done or said that will ever keep you from being good
enough to step out and say, “This is what I believe.” No one is going to call
you a hypocrite except yourself (and if someone does do that, they’re not your
friend.) Sit down, be gentle with yourself, and walk mindfully through those
really tough moments. The best way I know to go about doing that is to ask yourself
these four questions: 1. what is it that I regret and why? 2. How did
I react in that moment and how can I react differently should it ever happen
again? 3. Do I need to atone for something?
Do I
need to apologize to someone or to myself, or even to God? 4. How can I forgive
myself? Once you’ve asked yourself these questions, write down your answers. It
helps to go back and reflect on them when you encounter feelings of doubt, to
remind yourself of how you can be better. But in doing that, don’t look at your
past as a burden around your neck. Rather, see it for something that made you
stronger in who you are, as something that led to your courage to fight for
what you believe in.
4. Be mindful
of the people you spend your time with-There’s
a very old saying that I’m sure you know, "You are who you’re friends
with.” Another way of saying this is, “You value what the people you spend the
majority of your time with value.” This is one of the most important steps you
can take to stay true to what you believe in, and that is to survey the people
in your life whom you deal out your time to.
Ask
yourself how you feel when you walk away from them. Do they inspire you to
continuously pursue your convictions? For clarity, all of your friends don’t
have to be people who share your faith or uphold identical convictions to your
own, but what you do need to ask yourself about them is, whatever they believe
in or value, are they adhering to that in their lives?
Are
they practicing what they tell others, or are they continuously betraying what
they claim to value? Lastly, ask yourself if they're the kind of friend to you
that you would want to be to others. Your time and energy is valuable.
Spend it on people who enrich your soul, and on those who will allow you to enrich
theirs.
5. Be read up- Look at the convictions of the people you most
admire, and ask yourself why you admire them. Explore the raw, messy potential
of the unknown, and see for yourself what you respond to most. Once you
determine what those convictions are, it’s a matter of putting them first in
your life and pushing forward with that new mindset. Ask yourself, “How can I
carry these out with me into the world every day?”
6. Be secure
with an accountability system-Don't be
intimated by the word "system." It can be one person or many. Whatever
works for you, but you need to find a way to hold yourself accountable to what
you believe in. I have found the most inspiration and guidance from my handful
of accountability partners, whom I call my "prayer partners," people
that I know are going to be there, unafraid to say to me, “Hey, I don’t think
this aligns with your convictions.
” They're the ones who you can call on
because you know they've gone through it or are going through it, too, and as a
result, are willing to walk with you through the struggle. Take your time
in determining who these people are in your life—and if you can’t identify
anyone, seek out places where you might meet them. That’s the vital ingredient
when it comes to accountability partners. There has to be an equal need of the
other's trust and guidance. You have to be equally vulnerable in order for it to
work. Be careful about the people you choose to trust with your stories, with
your hardships, and be sure that they’re willing to invest in your journey as
much as you are in theirs.
If
you don’t want to reach out to a person, put inspirational sticky notes on your
mirror. Set reminders on your phone. Start a diary that you write in every
morning. We're all human and humans fail so you have to set up protective
measures to give yourself the best chance at remaining true to who you are
every day.
7. Be
selective in what you expose yourself to-This
is the second part of being mindful of how you spend your time. Of all the
things you surround yourself with in your daily life, ask yourself if those are
keeping you plugged in to your belief system. What kind of music do you listen
to? What kind of TV shows do you watch? What reading material is your brain
processing every day? Is each of these things reflective of the kind of
individual you want to be?
If someone were to walk into your home,
would you be okay with whatever they saw there or would you be ashamed and want
to hide something? It sounds a bit extreme, but you need to make those small
choices. It’s the small; seemingly inconsequential choices we make every day
that have the most profound impact in the end simply because they form habits. Our
habits inform our character. Even the smallest of tolerances seep in to our
subconscious, and can affect how true we remain to our convictions.
If
you’re watching a particular film or TV show that provokes that nagging thought
in your brain of, “Well, I’m not all right with that, but the main character is
attractive so I’ll keep watching,” Don’t keep watching it. Turn it to something
else that your brain doesn’t have to warn you about. The past century of cinema
is bound to offer something that is both entertaining and nondestructive to
your convictions.
8. Be sure of
your convictions-This may be obvious, but it’s surprising
how many people have never thought to ask themselves the toughest question in
humanity: what do I believe, and why? There’s so many aspects of which you are
that are wrapped up in your convictions that are produced from the events or
individuals in your life that have influenced you. It's important to take the
time to sift through them, consider them in your mind one by one to discern
what you truly believe.
Does that value stem from somewhere deep
inside you? Do you intrinsically feel it to be true? Is it a product of an
unfortunate event from your past that clouded your understanding so that you
formed a belief you know to be false? This is likely the most daunting step to
take for yourself. I encourage you to quiet any outside voices or opinions
while at the same time opening up your mind to the possibilities.
9. Be who you
are in private in public-.I see so many individuals in my generation who bow to the
pressure of appearing as an online caricature of themselves, emotionally muted,
and politically or religiously neutral, when that’s not who they and they’re
close friends and family know them to be in private. It’s a cliché, but life is
too short to live for other people’s opinions, to live for the social media
“highlight reel.” Don’t you want to stand for something more? When it comes to
priorities, put your convictions ahead of your physical appearance.
It’s so important to try to build that frame
of mind every day that you walk outside your house. You can assuredly say to
yourself, “I have no problem telling a person what I believe if they ask. I
won’t hesitate. I take no issue in sharing this important story. I’m
living my life according to what I believe, and that’s all that matters.”
“You have to have conviction, or you can't live. And then you have to do
something about your conviction, or you can’t stand to live with yourself.”
(Anonymous)[i]
[i] Sources used:
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