Friday, November 9, 2018

Die For

“A belief is something you will argue about. A conviction is something you will die for.” (Howard G. Hendricks)

Convictions set us apart from animal the animal kingdom, and play a fundamental role in molding our character. Everybody has established within themselves certain convictions that help them become more of who they want to become. These convictions connect to everything in our lives. Stay true to your convictions. If there’s ever been a time in human history to be true to whom you are and stand up for what you believe in, it’s right now. Our culture needs it. The world needs it.

Without you realizing, you could be doing someone a favor (if they see you exhibiting the courage to live out your convictions), they’re much more likely to do the same, or at least consider it. And that’s the greatest change you could ever make in the world. How do you always stay true to your convictions in a world that seems to be lacking in them? Here are some suggestions:

1.   Be able to be tough-In order for you to stay true to what you believe in and actively demonstrate that every day by choosing courage and vulnerability with others, you’re going to face occasional opposition. You’re going to encounter people who don’t at all agree with your convictions or align with your convictions and are vocally intolerant of them.

You’re going to want to never speak out about them again as a result because who likes confrontation? If that’s the small cost of living an authentic life that consistently brings value to the lives of others—whether they realize or accept it at the time—it’s undoubtedly worth it. In response to these encounters, remember to be kind and compassionate.

 Meet their intolerance with acceptance. If you can, empathize. Their abhorrence for your convictions is indicative of their life experiences. Your kindheartedness may be the first step to helping them ask themselves what they believe in and why, or at the very least, it could inspire them to be more tolerant of others' convictions. 

2.   Be able to demonstrate your convictions every day-When you wake up every morning, you should ask yourself, no matter what your convictions are, “How can I demonstrate them today? How can I implement my convictions in everything I do, in every conversation I have with someone today?" It sounds silly, but you’d be surprised how life-changing this is.

An overwhelming number of people go through their whole lives regretting something they did decades before, allowing that hardship to tell them who they are, to tell them what they should or shouldn’t believe about themselves and about humanity, and that keeps them, every day, from touching someone else's life.

You’re worthy of believing in a greater good. Your experience is what makes your voice so important. Use it, and use it loudly. You never know what life you could touch by simply being the truest version of yourself and demonstrating your convictions unashamedly.

3.   Be able to walk yourself through regret- As scary as that sounds, you have to address your past to be brave in the present. If there are a lot of things in your past that you sincerely regret that you’ve also never dealt with, whether it’s hurting someone or being the one who was hurt, things you’ve done or things you’ve said, whatever it is, if those memories and the misconceptions they’ve given you about yourself are keeping you from being true to your convictions and being vocal about them—because you don’t think you’re good enough, qualified enough, because you think your past ruined it for you—you need to face them.

You need to come to the understanding that there’s nothing you’ve done or said that will ever keep you from being good enough to step out and say, “This is what I believe.” No one is going to call you a hypocrite except yourself (and if someone does do that, they’re not your friend.) Sit down, be gentle with yourself, and walk mindfully through those really tough moments. The best way I know to go about doing that is to ask yourself these four questions: 1. what is it that I regret and why? 2. How did I react in that moment and how can I react differently should it ever happen again? 3. Do I need to atone for something?

 Do I need to apologize to someone or to myself, or even to God? 4. How can I forgive myself? Once you’ve asked yourself these questions, write down your answers. It helps to go back and reflect on them when you encounter feelings of doubt, to remind yourself of how you can be better. But in doing that, don’t look at your past as a burden around your neck. Rather, see it for something that made you stronger in who you are, as something that led to your courage to fight for what you believe in.

4.   Be mindful of the people you spend your time with-There’s a very old saying that I’m sure you know, "You are who you’re friends with.” Another way of saying this is, “You value what the people you spend the majority of your time with value.” This is one of the most important steps you can take to stay true to what you believe in, and that is to survey the people in your life whom you deal out your time to.

 Ask yourself how you feel when you walk away from them. Do they inspire you to continuously pursue your convictions? For clarity, all of your friends don’t have to be people who share your faith or uphold identical convictions to your own, but what you do need to ask yourself about them is, whatever they believe in or value, are they adhering to that in their lives?

 Are they practicing what they tell others, or are they continuously betraying what they claim to value? Lastly, ask yourself if they're the kind of friend to you that you would want to be to others.  Your time and energy is valuable. Spend it on people who enrich your soul, and on those who will allow you to enrich theirs.  

5.   Be read up- Look at the convictions of the people you most admire, and ask yourself why you admire them. Explore the raw, messy potential of the unknown, and see for yourself what you respond to most. Once you determine what those convictions are, it’s a matter of putting them first in your life and pushing forward with that new mindset. Ask yourself, “How can I carry these out with me into the world every day?”
 

6.   Be secure with an accountability system-Don't be intimated by the word "system." It can be one person or many. Whatever works for you, but you need to find a way to hold yourself accountable to what you believe in. I have found the most inspiration and guidance from my handful of accountability partners, whom I call my "prayer partners," people that I know are going to be there, unafraid to say to me, “Hey, I don’t think this aligns with your convictions.

 
” They're the ones who you can call on because you know they've gone through it or are going through it, too, and as a result, are willing to walk with you through the struggle. Take your time in determining who these people are in your life—and if you can’t identify anyone, seek out places where you might meet them. That’s the vital ingredient when it comes to accountability partners. There has to be an equal need of the other's trust and guidance. You have to be equally vulnerable in order for it to work. Be careful about the people you choose to trust with your stories, with your hardships, and be sure that they’re willing to invest in your journey as much as you are in theirs.

 
 If you don’t want to reach out to a person, put inspirational sticky notes on your mirror. Set reminders on your phone. Start a diary that you write in every morning. We're all human and humans fail so you have to set up protective measures to give yourself the best chance at remaining true to who you are every day.

7.   Be selective in what you expose yourself to-This is the second part of being mindful of how you spend your time. Of all the things you surround yourself with in your daily life, ask yourself if those are keeping you plugged in to your belief system. What kind of music do you listen to? What kind of TV shows do you watch? What reading material is your brain processing every day? Is each of these things reflective of the kind of individual you want to be?

If someone were to walk into your home, would you be okay with whatever they saw there or would you be ashamed and want to hide something? It sounds a bit extreme, but you need to make those small choices. It’s the small; seemingly inconsequential choices we make every day that have the most profound impact in the end simply because they form habits. Our habits inform our character. Even the smallest of tolerances seep in to our subconscious, and can affect how true we remain to our convictions.

 If you’re watching a particular film or TV show that provokes that nagging thought in your brain of, “Well, I’m not all right with that, but the main character is attractive so I’ll keep watching,” Don’t keep watching it. Turn it to something else that your brain doesn’t have to warn you about. The past century of cinema is bound to offer something that is both entertaining and nondestructive to your convictions.

8.   Be sure of your convictions-This may be obvious, but it’s surprising how many people have never thought to ask themselves the toughest question in humanity: what do I believe, and why? There’s so many aspects of which you are that are wrapped up in your convictions that are produced from the events or individuals in your life that have influenced you. It's important to take the time to sift through them, consider them in your mind one by one to discern what you truly believe.

Does that value stem from somewhere deep inside you? Do you intrinsically feel it to be true? Is it a product of an unfortunate event from your past that clouded your understanding so that you formed a belief you know to be false? This is likely the most daunting step to take for yourself. I encourage you to quiet any outside voices or opinions while at the same time opening up your mind to the possibilities.

9.   Be who you are in private in public-.I see so many individuals in my generation who bow to the pressure of appearing as an online caricature of themselves, emotionally muted, and politically or religiously neutral, when that’s not who they and they’re close friends and family know them to be in private. It’s a cliché, but life is too short to live for other people’s opinions, to live for the social media “highlight reel.” Don’t you want to stand for something more? When it comes to priorities, put your convictions ahead of your physical appearance.

It’s so important to try to build that frame of mind every day that you walk outside your house. You can assuredly say to yourself, “I have no problem telling a person what I believe if they ask. I won’t hesitate. I take no issue in sharing this important story. I’m living my life according to what I believe, and that’s all that matters.”

“You have to have conviction, or you can't live. And then you have to do something about your conviction, or you can’t stand to live with yourself.” (Anonymous)[i]




[i] Sources used:

·        “How to Stay True to Your Beliefs: An 8-Step Guide” by C.A. Meyer

·        “How to Stay True to Your Convictions” by T.M. Gaouette  
 
 

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