As busy people who struggle with the daily
responsibilities of work, family and self-care, we often find ourselves
over-stretched, frustrated, and unable able to accomplish all we'd intended. We
can learn to realize that we (and others) are doing the best we can with the
best intentions we have. Then we can begin to rid ourselves of the guilt and
move forward with positive changes. Guilt can be toxic
to your body, mind and spirit; it blocks you from experiencing growth and
transformation.
If there was
ever a thing that was worthy of being labeled as a psychological cancer, it
would be guilt. Among all the feelings in the world that are intimate to your
soul, guilt is the one that eats you up from the inside. Guilt is a feeling of
emotional distress that signals harm to us or to others. Sometimes, guilt is
the outcome of doing something that you believe will disappoint God.
Any person who
has any sort of ethical beliefs is bound to experience guilt at one stage in
life. It can be difficult to stop the arrival of guilt in your life. With the
right steps, you can free your mind from guilt, and work towards personal
development. Here are facts about guilt that you may be unaware of (per Cindy Saleeby
Goulding):
1.
Don’t "should
“on yourself-Focusing on the “I should do this”
or”I should have done
that “sets you up for being self-critical. When you
"should" on yourself, you are judging yourself. When you judge
yourself, you are limiting all of your potential to grow and think openly. We
can’t change the past, but we can learn from it and use those experiences as tools
for change.
Instead of getting caught up in the
"shoulds," think of ways that you can learn to adjust your way of
thinking. Start by letting go of the thoughts that may not even be beneficial
to you. Where did those thoughts develop? What can you do or say to challenge
those thoughts?
2.
Focus on Quality and not Quantity-When my girls were younger, I often experienced mom guilt
and told myself that I "should" be home with them instead of going to
the gym. One day, I finally gave in to the guilt and decided to stay home with
the girls instead of exercising. That evening, one of my daughters asked me,
“Mommy, can you go to the gym today?”
She'd
noticed I was irritable and tired, and would have preferred that I go to the
gym instead of staying home and not having quality time with her. It benefited
all of us when I decided to let go of the guilt! Enjoy the present moments and
the quality of what you are experiencing.
3.
Forgive yourself-It is essential to
forgive yourself and others in order to release your guilt and decide to not
allow it to suffocate you and your future opportunities. Forgiveness is not the same as
acceptance of the hurt. It's about taking care of yourself so that you can move
forward with your life without being controlled by the guilt or the person who
has hurt you.
Forgiveness is key to allowing
yourself to move forward with your life in a positive direction. When you don’t
forgive yourself, you are not able to forgive others. So, start forgiving
yourself and know that just being human means that you have made mistakes and
will continue to make mistakes. Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow.
4.
Practice positive
affirmations-Since guilt can affect your physical,
emotional, and spiritual health, a gentle way
to remedy the effects is by practicing positive affirmations. Keeping your
affirmations in present tense helps you stay in the present moment, and using
“I am” makes the statement powerful and personal.
Say your positive affirmations right after you wake
up while you’re still in bed. It gives you positive thoughts at the beginning
of the day. Here is one that gives you a sense of peacefulness and harmony for
the rest of the day: “I am
healthy and prosperous, and I am grateful for all good things in my life, and I
am accepting of all abundant things coming into my life”.
5.
Start a Journal- One way of releasing
guilt is by expressing your feelings in a journal and actually seeing your
thoughts on paper. Journaling is a wonderful
method of visualizing what's on your mind, and also going back to it later to
remind yourself how far you’ve come along.
Instead of focusing on
all the positive change, she was stuck on the thought that she hadn't lost
those ten pounds. Re-reading a journal helps you realize that you’ve come a
long way with your goals. Reward yourself for your improved dedication.
“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important
role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs
to change.” (Gretchen Rubin)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“5 Things You Should Know About Guilt” by Daniel Branch
·
“5 Ways to Get
Rid of Guilt” by Cindy Saleeby Goulding
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