Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Chocolate Chips

“In the cookies of life, friends are the chocolate chips.” (Salman Rushdie)

It is important to identify what you are looking for in a friend. This can assist you in determining if the person you would like to be friends with can provide the type of connection you need. With that noted, the dynamics of female friendships tend to be more emotional, and include the sharing of feelings.

Friendships between males tend to value relationships that include shared activities and are less intimate. Unlike women, men often do not feel the need to discuss all the changes in their lives with a friend. Female vs Male Friendships: 10 Key Differences

It is important to remember that similarities between men’s and women’s friendships are greater than their differences:

1.   Men are less likely to hold a grudge.  Both men and women friendships can erupt into anger with emotional outbursts, and men even coming to blows.  While women can hold a grudge for some time, men are more likely to get over strained friendships more quickly. Men are more likely to remain friends after an argument or a fight whereas women are not.

 
2.   Men don’t do very much relationship maintenance.  While women tend to meet, call, or text their friends regularly, men don’t feel as much need to stay in touch with their male friends.  It isn’t uncommon for men to touch base with a close friend (often after a period of years) and find out that they have gotten a divorce, retired, or had some other major life change, but the friend was clueless.

  

3.   Men’s friendships are less intimate and less supportive.  Although men can have close friends, the level of social support among men is nowhere near the same level as among women.  There is some evidence that women’s friendships can be more fragile than men’s. The type and quality of men’s friendships were influenced by their parent’s friendship patterns. Men whose parents had broad and active social networks tended to have more friendships.

 
4.   Men’s friendships are more active and less emotional.  They are transactional (involving shared activities like sports or work projects).  Working class men tend to focus on material goods and services (such as fixing each other’s cars, or exchanging tools), while upper and middle class men tend to share leisure activities such as attending sporting events, travel, or entertainment.

"Best friends are people you know you don’t need to talk to every single day. You don’t even need to talk to each other for weeks, but when you do, it’s like you never stopped  talking." (SayingImages.com)[i]




[i] Adapted from:
·        “5 Ways That Men’s Friendships Differ from Women’s” by Ronald E. Riggio

·        “Female vs Male Friendships: 10 Key Differences” by Tarra Bates-Duford

·        “How Are Men’s Friendships Different from Women’s?” by Ronald E. Riggio
 
 

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