I was 14 on Saturday, June 24, 1978,. My two younger siblings (Kim and Jim) and me lost my father in a car accident. That one event altered the fabric of my family life forever.Many individuals who have suffered a similar lost, find Father's Day gloomy. For all those who have lost a father, you're not alone. Losing your father can be devastating, if you were close to him. You will always miss him, but over the years you will find a way to cope with your loss, and the pain you feel will turn into a gentle sadness.
He will live on in your memories. Every year will bring days when you feel your loss more keenly, such as his birthday, the anniversary of his death, and Father’s Day. Just because he is dead, does not mean that you have to stop honoring him on Father’s Day. While your father can never be replaced, consider the suggestions below a gesture of love in his memory that would make him proud of the child he raised.
1.
Create a memorial recording Shoot a simple
tribute with your smartphone, or create a fully edited slideshow from your
favorite photographs and set it to music. Once finished, share it with your
family and friends, or post it online on Facebook
to let the world know how much you love your father.
2.
Create a scrapbook Scrapbooking is
creative, fun, and a wonderful way to create a lasting visual memorial to
someone you love. Start by collecting and printing images of your father that
evoke fond memories. If you like, ask others to do the same. Then, alone or
with friends and families, get to work. Father's Day or a long holiday weekend
offers a great opportunity to look through images of your family, share the
stories behind the photos, and create a special scrapbook as a tribute to your father.
3.
Do something in honor of Father What did you and your
father enjoy doing together? Whether you cooked on the grill, played baseball,
went to the opera, or watched a favorite TV show, you can honor your father by
doing that act together with others who loved him. Before starting the
activity, take a moment to share your memories, photos, videos, or stories of father.
4.
Give your time If you traditionally
took your father out for a meal on Father's Day, his birthday or some other
special day, gave him a gift ,or just hung out with him for an afternoon,
consider brightening life for another father by doing the same thing for him.
If you don't know of somebody already, ask around at your place of worship, or
even at your workplace.
5.
Heal by helping Make a donation to a
cause meaningful to your father in his memory, or to help find a cure for a
disease. You might also consider volunteering a few hours of your time to
benefit others. For a list of opportunities to help someone else in your area,
please visit the Volunteer Match website.
6.
Plant a tree If you have space in
your yard, consider planting a tree in memory of your father. After buying the
sapling from a nursery, dig the hole and then have your family gather to say a
few words or share their favorite memories of your father. After placing the
tree in the hole, ask each family member should toss a handful of dirt in
before you finish planting and watering the tree.
You could also place a small engraved
"In Memory of..." plaque at the base of this living reminder of your father.
If you don't have the space to plant a tree in your own backyard, consider
donating one to a local hospice, library or place of worship to beautify your
community in your father's memory.
7.
Visit your father's final
resting place Honor your deceased father
this Father's Day by visiting his gravesite or the spot where his cremated
remains were placed. While there, you should remove any debris, such as leaves
or dead flowers, from his resting place and then leave a fresh floral bouquet
to mark your visit and your love. Now may also be a good time to "talk
to" your father, letting him know how much he meant to you.
8.
Write to or about your father Writing your thoughts
is an effective way to reduce stress. Whether you express yourself best sitting
at your computer or using paper and pen, consider writing a private letter or a
poem describing how much your father meant to you. Tell him what has been
happening in your life. Also write about your feelings.
Let him know how much you miss him, how you
are coping, or even that you are angry at him for leaving you. This may feel
strange at first, but once you get started you will find that your pen is
flying across the paper. For just a few moments you will forget that he will
not ever read your lines. When you are done, you could put the letter in a
special box and keep adding a new letter each year. You could also burn the
letter and imagine that your words will reach him on a trail of smoke.
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone
could give another person, he believed in me. “(Jim
Valvano)[i]
 |
| The Kinker family through the years (bottom photo left to right: Robert, Jim, and Kim, mom, and dad) |
[i] Sources used:
·
“Honoring a
Deceased Father on Father's Day” by Sympathy Solutions
·
“10 Ways to Honor Your Deceased Father on Father's
Day” bChris Raymond
This post is dedicated
to my late father, Robert E. Kinker. My sister (Kim) and I love you miss you
forty years later.
HAPPY EARLY FATHER’S DAY 2018
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