Whether you like it or not,
communication interruptions in adult conversation are often commonplace in
today’s fast-paced society. Group talking today often involves jumping in
verbally between lulls in a conversation.
It is true that with constant interruptions by
others in conversation, effective communication can almost be impossible. Interrupting
someone can mean proper listening is not happening.
By offering one’s
opinions before another person has articulated theirs, you risk mentally
shutting down from the conversation and ignoring valuable new insights. Are you
familiar with this tendency in yourself? Use the following communication skills to stop interrupting.
1. Focus on keeping your mouth shut: And this means, physically focus
on keeping your lips together. You can do this as easy as you can focus on any
aspect of your body. Try it now: pay close attention to
the pressure of your seat on your bottom. See how easy it is? Often, we simply
open our mouth while someone is talking because we’ve lost control over it, and
control often stems from focus.
2. If you find yourself interrupting, correct yourself: Invite who you’re listening to
continue speaking. Saying something like, “Oh, sorry, please go on…” This will
serve to apologize for the interruption and will encourage more open
conversation from the other person. For habitual interrupters, it can be hard
work to write something down to remember later. Like any new habit, it’s worth
it though.
3. Practice not interrupting: This means listening to someone
and waiting three seconds (try saying “one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three
Mississippi”) to yourself and that is about the amount of time you need to
pause before talking. One thing I’ve found useful is to ask “was there anything
else you wanted to say about that?” before proceeding with my point of view.
Doing this often results in a “no” from the other person. This means that I can
be sure that I’ve heard everything they want to say for the moment .They’ll be
ready to listen to me in the same way I’ve been listening to them.
4. Write down what you want to say: Often, we interrupt because we
don’t want to forget what comes to our minds while someone else is speaking. As
if to remind ourselves and to say it; we blurt out what we’re thinking instead
of writing it down. If you don’t have paper at hand, type it in the notepad
section of your cell phone, and come back to your thoughts later.
“The major problem of life is learning how to handle
the costly interruptions: the door that slams shut; the plan that got
sidetracked; the marriage that failed; or that lovely poem that didn't get
written because someone knocked on the door.” (Martin Luther King Jr.)[i]
[i] Adapted from: “How
to Win Anyone Over with Rockstar Communication Skills: 4 Tips to Stop
Interrupting” by LiveseySolar
Inspired by my daughter, Allena Kinker
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