Monday, September 4, 2017

Your Own Worst Enemy

You are your own worst enemy. It is your negative thoughts that hold you back, [and] nothing else.” (Leon Brown)

Ants are social insects that live in colonies. Understanding the behavior of ants will help you with the recommended pest control procedures, which include killing the entire colony. Just spraying an ant with a repellent spray will only kill a few of these pests at a time.

Ants may enter your house through the smallest of openings. They forage for food, water, or to seek shelter (from the elements). Once they find a food source, ants will leave a pheromone trail for other ants to follow.

Like the ants described above, Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) can infest both your life (and home) through any life entry. Though they can be difficult to eradicate, you can become ANT free if you really want to. These four questions will help you to confront those disturbing ANT feelings:

·        Is it true?

·        Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

·        How do you react when you believe that thought?

·        Who would you be without that thought?

The different ways your thoughts lie to you and make situations seem worse than they are, are listed below. Think of them as nine different species of ANTs. When you can identify your type, you can take away the power they have over you. 

1.   All or nothing:  These cause your brain to think everything is good or all bad. One mistake doesn’t mean you should give up entirely on something wonderful.

2.   Always thinking: This is when you think in words that over generalize like always, never, every time or everyone. This kind of thinking makes you feel like you are doomed to fail. It is as if you have no control over your behaviors.

3.   Focusing on the negative: You may see the negative aspects of a certain situation even when there are plenty of positives. Put a constructive spin on a negative thought. Encourage yourself to feel good about your accomplishments.

4.   Thinking with your feelings: When you have a feeling about something, and you assume the thoughts are correct. You never question it. Feelings can lie too. Look for evidence

5.   Guilt beating: Typical phrases like “should”, “must”, “ought to”, and “have to” are typical with this type of ANT. It involves using excessive guilt to control behavior. When we feel pushed to do things, our natural tendency is to push back. That doesn’t mean that guilt is all bad. There are certainly things in life that we should and shouldn’t do . Don’t mistake these for guilt beating ANTs.

6.   Labeling: When you call yourself or someone else names or use negative terms to describe them, you have labeling in your brain. A lot of us do this on a regular basis. You may have said one of the following at some point in your life; “I’m a loser”; “I’m a failure”; or “I’m lazy.” The problem with calling yourself names is that it takes away your desire for change .

7.   Fortune-telling: Predicting the worst even though you don’t know what will happen is the fortune. Nobody is safe from this kind of fortune telling.

8.   Mind reading: When you think that you know what somebody else is thinking even though they have not told you, and you have not asked them, it is called mind-reading. Listen carefully to the other person before trying to predict what they have to say.

9.   Blame: Blaming others for your problems and taking no responsibility for your own successes and failures is toxic thinking. it ruins your life. You are a victim. You are powerless to change your behavior. Quit blaming others and take responsibility for your actions.

As I close this post, here are some simple suggestions in keeping your ANTS as far away as possible:

·         Meditate (or exercise).


·       Smile (or compliment someone).


·       Surround yourself with positive people.


·       Change the tone of your thoughts from negative to positive.


·       Don’t play the victim. You create your life, and take responsibility for it.


·       Help someone (volunteer).


·       Remember that no one is perfect, and let yourself move forward.


·       Sing (or write)


·       List five things that you are grateful for right now (or blessed to have).


·       Read positive quotes.


“If you don't learn to control your thoughts, you will never learn how to control your behavior.” (Joyce Meyer)[i]

HAPPY LABOR DAY!


[i] Sources used:

·        “Ant Control” (https://www.doyourownpestcontrol.com/ants.htm)

·        “9 Types of ANTs: Automatic Negative Thoughts that Invade our Relationships and How to Exterminate Them” by Ms. April Showers

·        https://d.adroll.com/cm/aol/outhttps://d.adroll.com/cm/index/out”5 Steps to Overcome Habitual Negative Thoughts” (http://waleoladipo.com/5-steps-to-overcome-habitual-negative-thoughts)

·        “10 Tips to Overcome Negative Thoughts: Positive Thinking Made Easy” by Michelle Uy

 



 

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