Friday, September 8, 2017

Lesson and Test

In school you are taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson” (Malcolm X)

Losing someone you love is a test of life that is painful. You have very little control over the challenges that life throws at you. What you do have is the power to control your response to these tests. Greif is an unavoidable part of life that we will all experience at some time or another.

No matter how strong the pain of losing a loved one may be. It is important is that you had someone to love at all. It is inevitable that life goes on. What we are taught by the people that we love during their lifetime is unique to us all. Here are five life lessons that everybody can learn from the death of a loved one:

1.   Choose to be confident, and use your power of hope: We cannot control the bad things that happen in our life. We can control our reactions to these challenging events. How we live our life is determined by how we choose to live it. When we step into using our power of choice, we are actively seeking solutions to deal with the challenges we have to face. This can empower us to recognize how we can move forward.

We can maintain our hope for a better future. With optimism comes a positive attitude toward life. The most important lesson that we can learn from the death of a loved one is that life moves on. When somebody we love deeply has to leave us, it may seem as though the world has come to a complete standstill. You know that life as you knew it will never be the same, but it will continue. You are stronger than what you realize.

Living your life to the fullest is the greatest way that you can honor those you have lost. We can sabotage  living a happy life by not trusting ourselves to step out of our comfort zone. Choose to turn your adversity and challenges into a life – learning journey.

2.   Don’t run away from life, but embrace its unpredictability: Life is a strange and amazing journey that is full of painful experiences and beauty. Running away from the challenges life presents is not the answer to dealing with life. When you run away the only place you can go is nowhere.

The pain, the discomfort, and the challenges of life will follow you where ever you go. Spend time on you, developing your strength and your resilience. Get prepared for life and be flexible. Everything that happens to you in life should be embraced for its preciousness.

3.   Don’t rush the process of healing: Grief doesn’t magically end after a set period of time. There will always be reminders in your life where your feelings of grief will return. Overtime you will find that your pain turns into a dull ache; then to sad memories where you cry; and then you will have memories where you smile briefly.

When somebody in your life dies it serves as a reminder that some things in life are too insignificant to consider. A death can remind us that our happiness and being true to ourselves is what is most important of all. Why live a life to please others if it means having to be somebody else?

 There is no right or wrong way to feel when grieving. It is a fluid process and different for everyone, so go with it. Don’t fight it. Be kind to yourself and believe in you, your strength and your courage (the essential ingredients to healing you).

4.   Don’t let your past rule your life now and In the future: Your past is your opportunity to learn the lessons you need in order to deal with your present life. Let go of your regrets in life; make peace with your past; accept it and move on. Don’t waste your energy on what is not important. Focus on what you have and not what you’re missing.

Look for opportunities for self-discovery and learn how to trust and believe in you. You are not what happened in your past. You are whom you choose to be now and in your future. Become the strong empowered resilient person you desire to be. The person who looks forward the future, and is living a happy fulfilled life.

5.   Find your purpose In life: Knowing your purpose in life gives you clarity, focus and hope for your future. Death can be expected or unexpected. Either way, there is no knowing when it will happen. Live every day as though it is your last. There are no guarantees in life. Make every moment count.

Take nothing for granted. Don’t live in fear of death. Use death’s presence as a reminder that life is for living now not in the uncertain future. Don’t be overwhelmed by the big journey to find your purpose in life. Make a plan, and take action. Don’t give up. Set realistic goals, and take one step at a time. Rejoice over your successes. Each time you achieve your goal (no matter how small or how big).

Celebrate it, and share your successes with those you love. Happiness comes when you know what you are doing. The pursuit of your happiness is all about you living a meaningful life. When you find your purpose in life, you increase your happiness in life by two hundred percent.

6.   Live your life to the fullest because it can change quickly: Embrace life, take the time to make memories and cherish the moments you spend with the people you love. Get your priorities sorted and know what is important to you.

One of the biggest regrets of those who lose somebody to death is that they never said what they needed to say when they had the chance.  You never know when you may lose the opportunity to say those words.

7.   Your gifts in life are your family and friends: The people you surround yourself with (your family and friends) are your valuables. They are more important than anything in this world. The people in your life who love and support you are irreplaceable. Too often it can take loss to make us realize how good life can be.

Don’t wait for a wakeup call to realize your gratefulness for someone. Be thankful for the people that you have lost and the people that are still living with you. Every moment, every person, every experience and every memory is precious.

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have life itself” (Walter Anderson)[i]




[i] Sources used:

·        “7 Valuable Life Lessons the Pain of Grief Can Teach Us” by Kathryn Sandford

·        “Coping with Grief: 5 Lessons We Can All Learn From the Death of A Loved One” by Katherine Hurst

 

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