Gossip
is not a good habit for either a woman or a man to practice regularly as it
fuels the fires of discord. When a good story damages someone’s reputation, it
should be left unspoken. Articulating any negative tale about a person who
isn’t there to protect themselves involves gossiping.
Since
gossip can seem well-intentioned to us at times (such as when it’s circulated
through a pray request) we don’t often don’t believe it’s a big deal. Gossip is
a sin that God takes seriously. “Do not go around
spreading malicious lies about other people. Do not take a stand that
would endanger your neighbor’s life. I am the Eternal One.” (Leviticus 19:16, VOICE)
Whenever
you effectively stop gossip, you prevent further damage to relationships, and
help usher God’s peace into them. That’s a powerful way to live out your faith.
Jesus himself said in Matthew
5:9 (NOG):
“Blessed are those who make peace. They
will be called God’s children.” The next time you hear gossip about someone,
don’t participate. If you're wondering how
to stop gossiping, here are some ways you can do so:
1.
Change the
subject Distract people from gossiping by bringing up
another subject in the conversation. Something that’s interesting (yet positive)
to talk about can redirect people’s focus away from gossip, while also sending
them a clear signal that you don’t want to talk about the gossip they had been
discussing.
In Ephesians
4:29 (ICB),
the Bible urges: “When you talk, do not say harmful things.
But say what people need (words that will help others become stronger). Then
what you say will help those who listen to you.” If a conversation
isn’t heading in a helpful direction, choose to be the one who changes its
course by changing the subject.
2.
Confront gossip politely yet firmly Stand up to people who are spreading gossiping
by letting them understand you don’t want to hear the story they’re telling
you. Don’t hesitate to directly call gossip what it is, but do it with grace.
For example, you could say something like: “That sounds like gossip to me, so I
don’t really want to hear any more. Let’s just drop it.” Saying something like
that isn’t too harsh; it’s simply holding others accountable for their choice
of words.
Jesus reveals in Matthew 12:36-37 (CEV) “I
promise you that on the Day of Judgment, everyone will have to account for
every careless word they have spoken. On
that day they will be told that they are either innocent or guilty because of
the things they have said.”God places a high value on keeping people
accountable for their words.
3.
Point out missing information Ask questions that point out holes in a
gossipy story (such as specific times and places of events that supposedly
happened). Challenge gossiping people to tell you how they personally verified
the information they’re spreading about others. Help them see that just because
they heard a story doesn’t mean it’s true. Even if it is, they can’t possibly
have an accurate perspective on the situation unless they experienced every
detail of it personally.
No one can assume what someone else’s motives
are. 1 Corinthians 2:11 (New
Testament WE)
points out this, “The only one who
really knows what a person is thinking is the spirit of the person himself. So
also, no one knows what God is thinking, only the Spirit of God.” Help people see that
gossip isn’t reliable information.
4.
Say something positive about the person who’s the target
of gossip
No matter how negative a gossipy story about a person may be, there are
positive qualities to that person since he or she is made in God’s image.
Remind people who are gossiping that the person they’re talking about has said
or done something good by mentioning something specific that’s positive.
“Finally,
brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is
virtuous and praiseworthy.” (Philippians
4:8,
VOICE).
5.
Turn gossip into prayers Whenever you hear gossip, pray for the people
whom the gossip targets. Talk with God about the negative stories you’ve heard
through gossip. Ask the Almighty to intervene in the situation to help the
people involved. If there’s any truth to the stories, ask your Heavenly Father
to find it. Pray that people will overcome the attacks to their reputations.
You can pray these words from Isaiah
54:17(VOICE)
over them: “But
no instrument forged against you will be allowed to hurt you, and
no voice raised to condemn you will successfully prosecute you. It’s that simple; this is how it will
be for the servants of the Eternal; I will vindicate them.” View every time you
encounter gossip as an opportunity to bless the people involved by praying for
them.
“Refusing to gossip is a beautiful decision to make. It not only
creates richer friendships, but more importantly it makes our relationship with
the Lord more authentic and believable. We honor God when we honor each other.” (Lysa TerKeurst) [i]
[i] Sources used:
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