Nobody
likes being criticized but, unfortunately it is a fact of life. To be able to
respond to it with graciousness and objectivity is an important life skill,
which few people have. If we respond to criticism without careful
consideration, it can easily lead to needless distress.
Maybe
there’s a lesson in every criticism, if only we’re willing to find it. We can’t control what other people
will say to us. But we can control how we respond to it, and learn from it. To
succeed in life (both personally and professionally) it’s important to evaluate
people’s opinions (good and bad) to improve every area of your life.
Criticism
comes in two varieties. Though
you can learn from both, constructive
criticism goes
down a bit easier, and offers
thoughtful feedback for gaining valuable insight into actions as our trust with
others increases. On the other hand, deconstructive criticism can be harsh, and
involves accusing people while pointing out their faults without suggestions
for improvement. What follows are three ways to deal with criticism.
1.
Ignore false criticism: Sometimes
we are criticized with no justification. This is a painful experience. One
option is to remain calm, silent, and give it no power by ignoring it
completely. False criticism should be as insignificant as an ant trying to harm
an elephant. It is always best to wait before responding (with feelings of
injured pride that we will later regret). Waiting patiently can enable us with
a calmer manner.
I pay a lot of attention to criticism from
people I respect, but I try to shield myself from criticism from people I don’t
know. Learning to receive false criticism that that has no constructive value (without
losing your confidence) is a must if you want to do big things in life. Criticism
shines a light on your own insecurities that need personal work by you. You
have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk. Up to eighty percent of
our thoughts are negative. Don’t sabotage all the good stuff your mind does for you.
2.
Manage
stress: When
we’re constantly on edge, we can feel unable to respond to criticism with a
clear head. So inhale deeply to keep those stress levels low naturally.
Remember that the criticism represents just one person’s point of view. Know
what your strengths are and don’t let other people’s opinions keep you from
working towards your goals. When someone else evaluates you harshly, it reminds
you that feedback on your flaws is okay. This makes you human. If you can admit
weakness, and work on it without getting upset with yourself, you’ll experience
happiness, peace, and success. You can do this.
3.
The positive from criticism: Most criticism is based on some truths. Through criticism
may appear negative, it provides the opportunity to learn from mistakes. The
problem is that often we only value praise. Really listen to what a critic is
saying to understand that point of view. Don’t just nod while you formulate your
response. Figure out whether the criticism is constructive or simply rude. Instead
of getting defensive, be respectful and thank someone if the feedback is
useful.
Looking
for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility. You can grow if you’re
willing to be honest with yourself. Almost every critique gives you a tool to
create the future you visualize. Criticism opens you up to new perspectives and
ideas that you may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges you, they
help expand your thinking. You have the chance to practice forgiveness when you
come up against harsh critics.
Criticism gives you the chance to foster
problem solving skills. It’s liberating to allow people think whatever they
want. They’re going to do it anyway. If you improve how you operate after
receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. Letting go of worries, regrets,
stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the
present moment. Criticism teaches you how to interact with a person (in their
best and worse).
“In order to excel, you must
be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work
hard and be willing to accept constructive criticism. Without one-hundred
percent dedication, you won't be able to do this.” (Willie Mays) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“7
Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism” by Khalid Al Maqbali
·
“7 Tips
for Handling Criticism” by Gretchen Rubin
·
“How to Deal with Criticism Well: 25 Reasons to Embrace It” by Lori Deschene
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