Monday, July 17, 2017

Not Agreeable

“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” (Winston Churchill)

Nobody likes being criticized but, unfortunately it is a fact of life. To be able to respond to it with graciousness and objectivity is an important life skill, which few people have. If we respond to criticism without careful consideration, it can easily lead to needless distress.

Maybe there’s a lesson in every criticism, if only we’re willing to find it. We can’t control what other people will say to us. But we can control how we respond to it, and learn from it. To succeed in life (both personally and professionally) it’s important to evaluate people’s opinions (good and bad) to improve every area of your life.

Criticism comes in two varieties. Though you can learn from both, constructive criticism goes down a bit easier, and offers thoughtful feedback for gaining valuable insight into actions as our trust with others increases. On the other hand, deconstructive criticism can be harsh, and involves accusing people while pointing out their faults without suggestions for improvement. What follows are three ways to deal with criticism.

1.   Ignore false criticism: Sometimes we are criticized with no justification. This is a painful experience. One option is to remain calm, silent, and give it no power by ignoring it completely. False criticism should be as insignificant as an ant trying to harm an elephant. It is always best to wait before responding (with feelings of injured pride that we will later regret). Waiting patiently can enable us with a calmer manner.

 I pay a lot of attention to criticism from people I respect, but I try to shield myself from criticism from people I don’t know. Learning to receive false criticism that that has no constructive value (without losing your confidence) is a must if you want to do big things in life. Criticism shines a light on your own insecurities that need personal work by you. You have an opportunity to monitor your internal self-talk. Up to eighty percent of our thoughts are negative. Don’t sabotage  all the good stuff your mind does for you.

2.   Manage stress: When we’re constantly on edge, we can feel unable to respond to criticism with a clear head. So inhale deeply to keep those stress levels low naturally. Remember that the criticism represents just one person’s point of view. Know what your strengths are and don’t let other people’s opinions keep you from working towards your goals. When someone else evaluates you harshly, it reminds you that feedback on your flaws is okay. This makes you human. If you can admit weakness, and work on it without getting upset with yourself, you’ll experience happiness, peace, and success. You can do this.

3.   The positive from criticism: Most criticism is based on some truths. Through criticism may appear negative, it provides the opportunity to learn from mistakes. The problem is that often we only value praise. Really listen to what a critic is saying to understand that point of view. Don’t just nod while you formulate your response. Figure out whether the criticism is constructive or simply rude. Instead of getting defensive, be respectful and thank someone if the feedback is useful.

Looking for seeds of truth in criticism encourages humility. You can grow if you’re willing to be honest with yourself. Almost every critique gives you a tool to create the future you visualize. Criticism opens you up to new perspectives and ideas that you may not have considered. Whenever someone challenges you, they help expand your thinking. You have the chance to practice forgiveness when you come up against harsh critics.

 Criticism gives you the chance to foster problem solving skills. It’s liberating to allow people think whatever they want. They’re going to do it anyway. If you improve how you operate after receiving criticism, this will save time and energy in the future. Letting go of worries, regrets, stresses, fears, and even positive feelings helps you root yourself in the present moment. Criticism teaches you how to interact with a person (in their best and worse).

 “In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work hard and be willing to accept constructive criticism. Without one-hundred percent dedication, you won't be able to do this.” (Willie Mays) [i]


[i] Sources used:
·        “7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism” by Tejvan Pettinger

“7 Effective Ways to Deal with Criticism” by Khalid Al Maqbali


·        “7 Tips for Handling Criticism” by Gretchen Rubin
·        “How to Deal with Criticism Well: 25 Reasons to Embrace It” by Lori Deschene

·        “How to Handle Criticism like a Pro” by Laura Schwecherl

This topic was suggested by my “second mother” and blog member, Charlotte Massey.

 
 

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