1. Words of affirmation - One way to express love emotionally to your spouse is to use
words that build them up. Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are
powerful communicators of love. The deepest human need is to feel appreciated.
"Words
kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit - you choose" Proverbs 18:21 (MSG)
2. Quality time – This
is giving your spouse your undivided
attention. Look at each other and talk with no distractions wherever that can
happen. Time is a precious commodity. We all have multiple demands on our time.
Each of us has the exact same hours in a day. We can make the most of our time
by committing some of those hours to our spouse.
“Our most basic emotional need is not to fall
in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of
reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to
love me, who sees in me something worth loving.”
3. Receiving gifts - For some, receiving gifts is a visible symbol of love. It
speaks loudly. It is not the thought implanted in the mind that counts. It is
the idea expressed in actually securing the gift (no matter the cost great or
small), and giving it as the term of love to your spouse.
“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up
every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures
of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.”
4. Acts of service - Consider actions such as cooking a meal, laundry, emptying
the dishwasher, vacuuming, grocery shopping, and keeping the car in operating
condition as acts of service to your spouse. They require thought, planning,
time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed
expressions of love. A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is
necessary in order to express love more effectively.
“People tend to criticize their spouse most
loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
5. Physical touch - Babies who are held, stroked and kissed develop a healthier
emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without
physical contact. Holding hands, kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse are
all ways of communicating emotional love to your spouse. For some individuals, physical touch is
their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved. With it, their
emotional tank is filled.
“Love does not do
things that are not nice. Love does not just think of itself. Love does not get
angry. Love holds no wrong feelings in the heart.” 1 Corinthians 13:5
(New Testament) (WE)
Implicit love
touches require little time but much thought. Touching as you walk through a
room only takes a moment. Touching each other when you leave the house may
involve only a brief kiss or hug but will speak volumes to your partner.[i]
“Marriages are always moving from one season to another.
Sometimes, we find ourselves in winter (discouraged, detached, and
dissatisfied). Other times we experience springtime (with its openness, hope,
and anticipation).
On still other occasions, we bask in the warmth of summer
(comfortable, relaxed, enjoying life)… Then comes [the season of] fall (with
its uncertainty, negligence, and apprehension). The cycle repeats itself many
times throughout the life of a marriage (just as the seasons repeat themselves
in nature).”  |
| The book, The Five Love Languages, and its author, Gary Chapman |
[i] This post was adapted from “Understanding the Five
Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. For more
information on this topic, please see The
Five Love Languages series by Gary Chapman (who has made all of the above
quotes).
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