Humans thrive on contributing to things larger than ourselves, being productive, positive interactions with others, and recognition for our efforts. A job is much more than a means to pay the bills. When a manager tells you your work isn’t good enough, it wounds your spirit. Constant negative feedback is damaging.
”Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.” (Charles F. Kettering)
I’ve spoken with many people who quit their jobs, and lost
confidence in themselves because of bad work experiences. These are people who
have grown their careers, earned advanced degrees, or led initiatives that made
millions of dollars for their companies. The negativity they endured made them
unsure of themselves.
“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple
was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being
a beginner again (less sure about everything). It freed me to enter one of the most
creative perids of my life.” (Steve Jobs)
If you haven’t experienced a job situation like, you might
be thinking, “If they were such great workers, why did their managers treat
them so poorly?” That is the reality of many organizations (whether military,
education, corporate, religious or any other field). There is crazy dysfunction.
“Push through the pain, and conquer the obstacles. Regardless of what you think today, it won’t matter five years from now. So don’t be afraid.” (Anonymous)
Feeling insecure about your value as an employee is not a
great state to be in when searching for a new job. Interviewers can smell fear.
If you’re questioning your abilities, you may settle for a job you don’t want,
or accept a lower salary than you deserve.
“There
are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” (C.S. Lewis)
It took some people two (or three) years to regain their
confidence (and self-esteem) after a terrible job (regardless of whether they
were fired or quit on their own). That is too long to allow someone else
continue to have power over you. The people who bounced back quickly have this
advice:
1.
Take back
your power right now - Remind yourself as many times a
day as you need to that this is your life. You get to choose whether you tell
your coworkers to respect you, or quietly plan to leave while holding your
tongue.
“Never give up. So
many people can be responsible for your success, but only you are responsible
for your failure.” (Anonymous)
2.
You are
more than your job - You are not your title, your
company, or your salary. You are a whole person with many parts to your life.
Know that your value as a human being is based on many things (but how your
boss treats you is not one of them).
“Sometimes
the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” (Anonymous)
3.
You have
skills and talents - When you feel low because you
only hear what your manager thinks you are doing wrong, remember what you are
good at. Write a list of your positive work traits (and strengths) if you need
to. Think of all you have accomplished in the past. When you’re scanning the
job listings (or updating your resume), this is the frame of mind to be in.
“It’s not up to you
how you fall. It’s up to you how far you let yourself fall and how long it
takes you to get back up and stand on your own two feet.” (Sr. TAC Jeffrey
Mitchell)
If you’ve left a horrible job (or are currently in one), I
hope that you hold onto your self-worth. Use what you’ve learned about the
experience. You may come out on the other side with clearer boundaries, greater
awareness of your strengths, and the confidence that comes from knowing that
actually you are the boss of your own life.[i]
“We must let go of the life
we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” (Joseph Campbell)
[i]
This post was adapted from “Regaining
Confidence after a Bad Work Experience” by Aimee Voelz.
This article is also a reminder to me as I was let go from my month long Floral
Clerk position at Kroger’s on Wednesday, March 1, 2017. Although I was getting the
work done during my shift, I was not working fast enough in helping the floral reach their
objectives. (A man in his fifties with a bad knee that has had brain surgery cannot move like a physically fit twenty year-old.) Work-wise, I don't have a great deal of confidence in myself as I question if the Almighty wishes me to return to work.
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