Friday, March 17, 2017

Before They Send

 “When it comes to sexting, tell your friend to think twice what they write before they send.”[i]

Sex texting (or sexting for short) is sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit messages, photographs or images (primarily between mobile phones). If you think teenagers haven’t been exposed to it. Check out these statistics:

  1. 71% of teenage females (and 67% of teenage males) who have sent (or posted) sexually suggestive content say they have sent (or posted) this content to a boyfriend (or girlfriend).

“Keep your reputation clean; careful what you write on the screen.”

  1. 21% of teenage females (and 39% of teenage males) say they have sent such content to someone they wanted to date.

“Double-check the recipient before you hit send, please.” (Holly Riordan)

  1. 38% of teenage females (and 39% of teenage males) say they have had sexually suggestive text messages (or emails originally meant for someone else) shared with them.

“What you text today you might regret tomorrow, and it may cause you much pain and sorrow.”

  1. 25% of teenage females (and 33% of teenage males) say they have had nude or semi-nude images (originally meant for someone else) shared with them.

“Send a nude to one, be seen [by] many.”

 
Sexting (like other sexual experimentation) probably starts as innocent curiosity. Once a digital image is made and hits cyberspace. It can get out of control. If a tween (or teenage) is old enough to use a cell phone, they are old enough for an open, honest, direct and age-appropriate conversation about sexting. Here are five things everyone should know about it:

“You can’t unwrite what you submit (so when in doubt just quit).”

1.  Don’t Cave into Peer Pressure - Sexting can be like any other peer pressure. Sexting, like any other sexual activity is something intimate. If you wouldn’t go outside naked, why would you send a picture that everyone could end up seeing when the image could be posted to Facebook? Someone who really cares about you will not put you in the position of doing something that makes you uncomfortable.

“[It takes] less than a second to submit; a lifetime to deal with the consequences.”

2.  It’s a Form of Sexual Harassment - It could land you in more trouble than it’s worth. A frightening number of laws have been passed to make possessing, sending and taking pictures a form of child pornography. The real issue is appropriate boundaries and a healthy attitude about sexuality. You could still land in a lot of trouble with the law if you engage in sexting (including being required to register as a sex offender).

“The Internet makes it easy for people to share things and stay connected, but it also makes it easier to make mistakes and get into dangerous situations.” b4uclick.org
 
3.  Your Photo or Message Will Likely Be Forwarded, Shared and Posted - No matter how private you intend the message or image to be. The best intentions can go bad when a fight (or break up) happens. A reputation like this can be painful, difficult, and humiliating.

“In the vast majority of cases, the picture lands only where it was meant to. But pictures sent as a result of pressure are much more likely to be shared, and that rarely ends well.” (Hanna Rosin)

4.  It’s Okay to Say “NO.” - Not only can you say ‘no’ to taking and sending electronic pictures of your own. You can help protect others by not participating in forwards and posts that others send.

“Be smart; use your wit, when it comes to sexting you should quit.”

5.  There are Other Ways to Express Interest in Someone - A risqué message (or picture) can accidentally be sent to someone unintended (causing a lot of embarrassment). Even if you do only send it to one person; you have no control over whom that person forwards it to. Instead of sexting, try sending flowers, going on a date, or writing a letter (with a pen and paper).[ii]

 “What are you doing?” he texted. “I just got out of the shower and I’m about to go to sleep.” “Send me a picture, please.” She caved. She sent it over Snapchat and said he had to let it erase right away. He said he did. (Hanna Rosin)

One of the top duties of parents is to teach their children to take responsibility for their own safety and actions. It's important to receive this message regarding the virtual world of the Internet. Even if a teen's intentions are playful or harmless, messages (or pictures) can become public forever. The outcome can often be anything but safe.[iii]

 




[i] All quotes are anti-sexting slogans taken from www.thinkslogans.com (unless otherwise noted).
 
[ii] Adapted from “5 Things Parents Should Explain to Teenagers about Sexting” by Mod-Labadminstrator (as well as Wikipedia).
 
[iii] Adapted from “Sexting: What Parents Need to Know” Reviewed by Larissa Hirsch, MD



 

 

 

 

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