Words Remain

“If you remain in Me, and My words remain in you. You will ask whatever you desire, and it will be done for you.”  (John 15:7, WEB)

The simplicity of choosing a single meaningful word to guide a person for the next 365 days is powerful. It’s a scientific reality that if you try to change too many things at once, you will fail. After all, ninety percent of New Year’s resolutions end in disappointment.  The one word process involves three steps:

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.”(Sophocles)

1.  Think about who you want to be - Instead of dwelling on your bad habits, ask yourself what kind of person you want to become. This process shifts your mindset from regret to vision. This task may come easy to you, or you may need to let it simmer a bit. Ask yourself the following question.  “Is there a one-word quality I would like to cultivate in my life?”

“Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.” (Buddha)

2.  Make a list of characteristics you desire - Once you have a picture of that person, identify their major characteristics and write them down using single words. Then take that list and look up each word’s definition. Your word might be practical, creative, light-hearted, or laser-focused.  Here are some words to consider:

Active, Awake, Aware, Bold, Clarity, Compassion, Confident, Courage, Decide, Dynamic, Exercise, Fearless, Flexibility, Flow, Frugal, Fun, Garden, Gentle, Growth, Healing, Illusory, Intuition, Love, Manifest, Mechanical, Mindfulness, Minimalist, Moderation, Nourishment, Passion, Peace, Present, Productivity, Receptivity, Reconciliation, Safe, Serendipity, Space, Success, Time, Whimsical, and Yield

“When you do something long enough, it becomes part of who you are. It can be hard, but that’s part of process. Keep your word in front of you; it will make a difference.” (Stephanie Vozza)

 

3.  Pick One Word - Using your list, pick the word that resonates with you most. There’s simplicity and beauty behind this. Recall your word daily (whether it’s consciously or unconsciously). Let it be your guidepost. At the same time, there’s no need to obsess on your word.  Here are some ways to bring your word alive:

 

·       Post your word in a visible place around your house with a sticky note (or on Facebook).

 

·       Reflect on what does this word really means to you.

 

·       Either write or create a collage about your word.

 

·       Journal (or blog) about your year-long insights about this process [i]

“I can give advice to anyone interested in writing in one word: Read! I think it's much more important to be a reader than to be a writer.” (Linda Sue Park)

“Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with you so you could all get along? Many people mistake uniformity for unity. Sameness [is] oneness. [That is just] one word (boring). Differences should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add zest to life.” (Stephen Covey)

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[i] Sources Used: “How One Word Can Change Your New Year” by Stephanie Vozza and “One Powerful Word 2012: A Simple Approach to New Year’s Resolutions” by Sandra Pawula

 

 

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Defense Mechanism

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. (Garry Shandling)

Comedians deliver powerful messages all over the world with humorous view on issues like racism and stereotyping. They use comedy to motivate the audience to take by opening their minds to new perspectives. How you can learn from the laughs, and apply these lessons toward motivating yourself and others?

“Comedy keeps the heart sweet.” (Mark Twain)

1.  Gratitude - An attitude of gratitude goes a long way. Comedians who are grateful to be up on stage give off an energy that transfers to their audience.

“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.” (Erma Bombeck)

2.  Purpose - You have to tune into what’s important to you in order for others to think it’s important too. What is your inner calling? A desire to bring peace through the message happens between the laughter.

“Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.” (Will Durst)

3.  Delivery - You have to know how to give your message. There are so many ways. Use whatever matches with your interests and abilities. Some people write essays, books, blog entries, give speeches, workshops, or start petitions, which create the ripple effect where some of the recipients of this message go out and tell others.

“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.” (Sholom Aleichem)

4.  No comparisons - True leaders motivate people through positivity. Work together to build a beautiful society. Comedians create a sum greater than its parts.

“God writes a lot of comedy... The trouble is [that] He's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.” (Garrison Keillor)

5.  Authentic - We can sense when others are being sincere and honest. Communicate your points with the right intent. Speak from your heart. Aim to make others feel better and stronger after hearing your message. When I see the greatest results,  I have spoken from the heart.
 
“Comedy is much more challenging, because you have to have the same level of belief but you have to make people laugh, and that's definitely a challenge.” (Jenna Elfman)
6.  Cross Check - How do you want others to perceive you? Be consciously aware. How do you want the “judges” to view you, your family, or your colleagues? If you’re not sure, then ask. 360 degree evaluations are perfect for this, ask your friends and colleagues to give anonymous feedback that is rolled up in a meaningful way.

“Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.” (Sid Caesar)

7.  Reflection - Look in the mirror at the end of the day and ask yourself if you’ve made a difference. You’ll know you’re on the right track if you start to smile. My purpose is to motivate and inspire others to transform their lives through genuine teamwork, strategic planning and career empowerment. [i]

“Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith.” (Christopher Fry)

“What's great about comedy, obviously, is that you set up a situation that people assume one thing and then you break the assumption. That's basically the backbone to comedy. You set up a situation, let people make an assumption, and then you break the assumption.” (Bryan Cranston)

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[i] Adapted from “7 Ways Stand-Up Comedy Can Teach Us to Effectively Motivate Others” by Valeh Nazemoff

 

The Bright Side

  “It never hurts your eyesight to look on the bright side of things.” (Barbara Johnson)

It is important for everyone to understand that Age-Related Macular Degeneration (ARMD) is a complicated disease that every human being should be educated about.  

1.  Macula is a small oval-shaped area at the center of the retina. Light-sensitive cells located there send visual signals to the brain. Sharp, clear vision processed by the macula allows a person to read and drive. Damage to the macula causes blurred or distorted vision with possible loss of central vision.

 

2.  ARMD is a progressive eye disease that causes the breakdown of the macula. It is painless, and almost always develops in both eyes (although one may be more severely affected).  The disease usually progresses slowly but is dependent on which of the two types a person has.

 

·       Dry ARMD is the most common type affecting 85-90% of the people with the disease.  Small yellowish deposits called drusen start to form, and collect beneath the macula.  

As the disease advances, the ability to read, recognize faces, operate a car,  and do detailed work becomes more difficult (as the number and size of the drusen grow).  A large blurry spot in the central field of vision may appear.  

·       Wet ARMD caused by the growth of abnormal blood vessels under the macula. It occurs in about 10% of the people with macular degeneration. These are very fragile and often leak fluid, which damages the macula (and can cause visual cells to die).

Wet macular degeneration is considered advanced, and severe vision loss can occur rapidly.  An early symptom of the wet type of the disease is that straight lines seem wavy or crooked.  

3.  Macular Pucker is scar tissue that forms over the macula.  As the scar tissue grows it pulls on the macula (which causes a wrinkle and blurs central vision).  There is a surgical procedure to peel the pucker away from the macula.  Plenty of good news exists as it relates to how your food consumption can decrease ARMD.

Research shows that your diet (and medication prescribed by a doctor) can positively affect your eye loss if you have ARMD. Here are the facts:

1.  People who eat a diet of fish three times a week, dark green, leafy vegetables, and fruit have a lower incidence of ARMD. (Eat five to nine servings a day.)

2.  Antioxidants protect against oxidation, which is a part of the ARMD process. Dark green leafy vegetables include spinach, kale, mustard and collard greens, which contain high levels of lutein (a critical antioxidant).

 

3.  Antioxidants are also present in fruits and vegetables with bright colors. This includes red grapes, peppers, corn, oranges, cantaloupe, and mangos.

 

4.  Fish contains omega-3, which is a critical nutrient for the heart and eyes. The best fish to consume is wild salmon or sardines. If you cannot tolerate fish (or obtain it easily), omega-3 supplements/fish oil capsules (1000mg) is another option.

 

5.  If you do not eat enough of the above, a daily multi-vitamin with the following ingredients may be helpful in slowing down the effects of ARMD: 6-10 mg  of Lutein, 500 mg of Vitamin C, 200 – 400 IU  of Vitamin E, 1000 – 2000 IU  of Vitamin D3, 1000 – 2000 IU of Zeaxanthin, 2 mg, and  20 – 80 mg of  Zinc.

 

6.  People who eat a great deal of saturated fats have a higher risk of ARMD. Saturated fat comes from animal products like beef, lamb, pork, lard, butter, cream, whole milk, and high fat cheese. Plant oils have saturated fat. This includes coconut oil, cocoa butter, palm oil, and palm kernel oil.[i]

“Most of us who have healthy eyesight are extremely attached to our vision (often without being conscious that we are). We depend heavily on our eyes, and yet we rarely give them a second thought. I, at least, am this way. The physical world is almost hyper-vivid to me.” (Rosemary Mahoney)

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[i] Sources used:

“Macular Degeneration and Me”   maculardegenerationandme.com

“Can Diet And Vitamins Help?”   www.amd.org

Listen

 “Recommended Supplements for Age-Related Macular Degeneration” www.macular.org

This topic was suggested by my wife, Bobbi, who may have this.

Must Bear Witness

“For the dead and the living, we must bear witness.” (The late Elie Wiesel, author of Night and Holocaust survivor)

The Holocaust (1941-1945) was a campaign of mass murder in which six million Jewish (and non-Jewish people combined) were killed by Adolf Hitler's Nazi Germany. The persecuted individuals included 1.5 million children.  

Some 42,500 detention facilities were utilized in the concentration of victims for the purpose of gross violations of human rights. The persecuted were herded into wartime ghettos. Specialized paramilitary murdered around two million of the persecuted in extermination camps.  Here are the ways the persecuted survived all of the Holocaust horror.

1.  Beet Juice: The persecuted were starved and worked ragged in death camps. They were not given proper clothing, which made their bodies very pale and weak (like living skeletons). At the Auschwitz camp, the prisoners during medical examinations would use beet juice (and sometimes their own blood) to give their cheeks a blush tone to make them seem healthier.

Should they fail the medical exam they would be put to death. The blush in their cheeks gave them leverage over the doctors. It tricked them into believing they were healthier than they truly were.

2.  Hair Dye: At the beginning of the Holocaust, the Nazis targeted the mentally handicapped and the elderly. Age was the one thing that gave the persecuted away. Older men and women (usually above the age of 40) had hair that was either partially or fully gray. Hair dye frequently ran out of stock at stores in the major Jewish cities because of the increasing numbers of people needing to dye their hair.

 

3.  Fake IDs and Birth Records: Another way Nazis looked for Jewish people to persecute was through their birth records and passports. When many The persecuted went into hiding, they used their ID forging skills to help hundreds of the persecuted avoid suffering. This saved from the Nazi regime from the death camps. Many who received fake papers fled to Switzerland and Denmark.

 

4.  Kindertransport: The kindertransport was a secret escape route for those under the age of 18 from Germany in the years 1938–1940. During this time, Jewish children were smuggled out of Germany, Poland, Austria, and Czechoslovakia into countries willing to accept them.

The United Kingdom took in nearly 10,000 children over that period of time. The children were also given fake IDs to use in the event that they were stopped before they reached their destination. Once they reached their sanctuary country, they were assigned a family to stay with.

5.  Living: Once the persecuted were taken away to death camps, their chances of survival were slim, and every second alive had to count. The prisoners at the Sobibor death camp worked their assigned jobs during the day, and had lives of their own during the nights.  

They regularly socialized, ate/drank together (with the provisions they were allowed), and even had sex lives. When survivors of this camp were interviewed, many of them said that trying to live normal lives was their form of resisting the Nazis.

6.  Revolt: In the summer of 1943, the persecuted at the Sobibor death camp overheard leaders speak that all prisoners were to be exterminated. The death camp was to be destroyed before Russian liberators could arrive. The persecuted  (around 600) planned a revolt against the camp.

They individually killed off guards, broke through the barbed wire fence, and ran through an open mine field toward the forest all in one day. Only 200 or so of the prisoners survived.

7.  Hiding: Many of the persecuted were taken in by families and hidden in different areas, which included unused basements/attics, hidden crawlspaces within walls or floors, and secret compartments (such as fake bookshelves or fake windows). Before the war ended, the persecuted were often discovered in these hiding places, and taken to death camps (where many died).

 

8.  Exercise: At many of the death camps, there were medical exams that the persecuted had to pass to stay alive. Exercise in the barracks was often used before an exam. They would run, do pushups, and even quarrel with each other in the hopes that they would make themselves look healthier to the doctors.

 

9.  Service to Nazi Soldiers: Another unusual way of survival was the different services the persecuted could offer to the Nazi soldiers. The main services (for men) was infiltrating secret orders, find out where other persecuted were hiding, and then report this information to Nazi soldiers in exchange for their lives.

Females served as sexual comfort  (at brothels) for Nazi soldiers. These women were often treated better than average persecuted females, and usually lived longer.

10.     Bribery: High-society people were able to bribe their way out of being persecuted to freedom. In the end, many of these people were alive, but broke and without necessary survival supplies. Many Nazi soldiers were power-hungry, and wanted to be wealthy themselves. [i]

“Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and the author of Man's Search for Meaning, wrote that human beings create meaning in three ways: through their work, through their relationships, and by how they choose to meet unavoidable suffering. Every life brings hardship and trial, and every life also offers deep possibilities for meaningful work and love... I've learned that courage and compassion are two sides of the same coin.” (Eric Greitens)

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[i] Adapted from “10 Survival Tricks Used During The Holocaust” by Celeste Holloway and Wikipedia

The purpose of this post is to illustrate the human desire to live.  All life is precious as is illustrated here.

 

Death camp victims

Redundant and Hereditary

·       The phrase working mother is redundant.” (Jane Sellman)

·       “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” (Sam Levenson)

·       “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.” (Erma Bombeck)

·       “It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.” (Phyllis Diller)

Nothing better describes the craziness of active motherhood than the lyrics to “The Mom Song” by Christian Comedienne, Anita Renfroe, to the tune of the William Tell Overture. (Do you agree?)

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here's your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget you gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodon'tist will be seeing you at three today?
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don't play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don't forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don't make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don't sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don't listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait 'til you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don't get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I'll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a Phd
Get a dose of...
I don't care who started it
You're grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before that
You're too old to act this way
It must be your father's dna
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your pj’s on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don't forget
I love you
"Kiss"
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I'm the Mom
The mom, the mom, the mom, the mom
Ta-da

·       “When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” (Sophia Loren)

·       “When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.” (Erma Bombeck)

·       “I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.” (Phyllis Diller)

 

 

Her Firstborn Son

“While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped Him in cloths and placed Him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.” (Luke 2:6-7, NIV)

 My daughter, Allena, gets some very unique writing assignments for her English Composition 2 course at college in Circleville, OH. One of my favorite writing projects had instruction similar to this. “Choose any passage of scripture for this writing assignment that does not contain human conversation in it, and add your own narrative. Your creation should complement the original scripture, and in no way contradict it.”

 I was not surprised my daughter chose the scripture passage at the top of this post. As a teenager, Allena has always had the desire to help those in need whether it’s locally, internationally, (or in the way she writes). 

Maybe it's the values Bobbi and I raised her with from childhood. I wouldn't expect her true nature to change from what it has always been . Who could possibly need more assistance than a young female giving birth to her first child (away from home, without her mother, and in pain)?

I have no doubt that If my daughter could have somehow physically jumped into her own narrative to have offered help to Mary; she would have. I know Allena well because that's just who she is at the core of her being: a passionate good person.

In this piece, Allena has managed to artistically (and carefully) give us a glance into this intimate and important moment in the humanness of Mary. Like the mother of our Savior, we all know life can be scary (and unpredictable) at times with all of its twists and turns. Allena incorporates her own unique familiar brand of female frailty (and strength) throughout this dialog. Without further delay I present to you “The Chosen One.”

I keep telling myself "I cannot do this,  I cannot do this." I know I do not have a choice. I know that it is okay to be afraid, I have moved beyond fear to terror as my body begins to shake in fear. The idea of giving birth to my Child that will be saving millions of lives. I cannot even begin to comprehend that.

           “Mary… Mary… hello, is there anybody in there?” Joseph teasingly asks as he hands me a large blanket.

 

“Yes, I am here. I was off in another world, I’m sorry.” I responded with confusion in my voice. Joseph continues to hand me the items we need to make my makeshift bed. It was starting to get dark outside. Joseph began to light the few oil lamps that were in the stable. How is he not afraid about becoming a father? He is continuing as if nothing major is about to happen. I guess that is what he is supposed to do.

He is the man. He is here to comfort me when I am scared. My body starts to warn me that the time is coming close. The birthing pains are starting, and they are excruciating at this point.  I know that they are going to get worse. I know this because I have seen other women go through this back in my home village.

 I am a teenager, and I know this is a normal thing to happen at my age. I just never thought it would actually happen to me, and of all places at a stable. Are you kidding me? I could imagine being in a well lit home with a midwife. Not me, I am doing this in a stable that smells terrible, and with a man that is supposed to be my husband. I do not even know him that well. This is so uncomfortable. A man being here when I’m giving birth. I do not want him to see me in a state of vulnerability. This man is not even the father of this child. He did not have any part of making this baby at all.

 Why am I so special to carry Jesus. Why not another woman more qualified than I am? I remember when the angel  said, “You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus.” I (in the end) am the Lord’s servant, and I agreed to this. I cannot go back on my promise to the Lord.  However, I am not in the mood to do this (not one single bit). This is not how newlyweds usually spend their time together. Nevertheless (either way) this baby is not staying in me. It is going to come out some way. No matter if I want to give birth or not.  

 As the hot tears slide down my cheeks, I know I have to do this now. My body is not giving me the warning sign anymore; it is giving me the “go.”  My baby is coming, and it is coming now. The tears pour down my face. Poor Joseph, I am breaking his hand by squeezing so hard. The pain is lasting for what feels like a lifetime, the worst pain I have felt in my life. Why would the angel not warn me about it being this painful? At least I would have known what to expect. Why am I being punished?  I am so faithful to God, and this how I am repaid?

 I am saying a silent prayer: “I’m crying out to you God, I need you right now, I cannot do this alone.” Only a couple more minutes of this pain I tell myself. Then I will be holding my perfect little Boy.

The sound of crying fills my ears. I smile because my Jesus is here. As I hold Him in my arms, I look into his eyes and realize how perfect He is, (just like the angel said He would be). Joseph smiles at me as he hands me the last clean cloth. I begin to wrap the soft cloth around Jesus. As I hold Him in my arms, tears start to stream down my cheeks: tears of relief, tears of joy, and tears of exhaustion. My mind begins to wander back to when Gabriel came to me.

 He told me, “You will be with Child and give birth to a Son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus.” I was so scared that I was left speechless; shocked. I did not know what to think. It seems that every time this memory comes up I cry. Before my Jesus arrived, I didn’t know how this would go, or if I could really even do it. I have learned that I am worthy enough to carry Jesus.

“Mary, do you want to get some rest? You’ve been through a lot,” asks Joseph.

           “Yes, I would like to.” exhaustion fills my voice as I responded.

 

As the exhaustion kicks in, I slowly lay my beloved Jesus in the manger. I struggle to lay him down; I just want to hold him all night. Looking into his eyes it officially sinks into my mind that my Jesus will save millions.

If you’ve ever read Luke 1: 26-38, are you able to picture the Virgin Mary (above) as a life coach? Here are ten lessons on living that only the mother of Jesus could impart.

1.    “In the six month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy”[i] God’s clock was already ticking when the angel came to Mary. Just because God announces something to me doesn’t mean it began with me.

 2.    “Pledged to be married” We have our plans. God has His.

 3.  “You who are highly favored. The Lord is with you” Notice the connection between His favor and His presence. How could it be otherwise?

 4.  “Mary was greatly troubled at his words” When His favor is upon us, it can be unsettling.

 5.  “You will be with Child” Sometimes we enlist in the purposes of God, sometimes we are drafted.

 6.  “How will this be?” There is a world of difference between asking God “how” and asking him “why.”

 7.   “The Holy Spirit will come upon you” When God answers the “how” question, it can be a total surprise.

8.   “For nothing is impossible with God” You heard Him, but deep down inside you already knew this truth.

 9.   “I am the Lord’s servant” Even though Mary was drafted, she responds with a willing heart. It would make all the difference over the next thirty years.

 10.  “Then the angel left her” There are times when we have angelic help, and there are times when we are on our own.[ii]

“Jesus humbled himself. He went from commanding angels to sleeping in the straw. [He went] from holding stars to clutching Mary's finger. The palm that held the universe took the nail of a soldier. “Why” [you ask] because that's what love does. It puts the beloved before itself.” (Max Lucado)

My daughter, Allena Kinker, author of "The Chosen One"

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[i] Luke 1:40 (VOICE) says, "Where her cousins Zacharias and Elizabeth lived." By the time Mary returned to Nazareth, she would have been around 3.5 months along. John the Baptist may have been during Mary's stay at Elizabeth and Zachariah’s home in Jerusalem. See this link for how I came to my conclusions about this:

http://christianity.stackexchange.com/questions/44054/how-far-advanced-was-the-virgin-marys-pregancy-when-she-returned-to-Nazareth

 

[ii] Adapted from: “Ten Leadership Lessons from Mary, the Mother of Jesus” by Ray Hollenbeck. Some minor grammar editing was done by me on "The Chosen One."