No Expiration Date

I and my younger siblings grew up in the Bexley home of a single mother (father died). From the age of fourteen (when it happened) to my current age of fifty-two, I’ve gained some insights and opinions on fatherhood that I believe could be of value to you.

(Unlike food that has an expiration date; fathers are forever needed in the life of their children, and have no shelf life. The role of a good father is crucial for well-rounded child development. It is not optional.)

(The role of fatherhood recently came to mind after a discussion with a close friend (“Crandall”) after my Thursday morning men’s group had concluded.) Here they are in no particular order as they come out of my brain:

1.  As much as a single mother may try, she cannot be both mother (and a father). She does not have the skills to help a male child deal with manhood. (Only other male role models brought into the boy’s life can do that.)

2.  With the interaction a child’s father has with his (her) mother; a son learns how to treat a woman, and a son becomes knowledgeable in how a woman should be treated.

3.  Without a father in a child’s life, there is often a void that there is a desire to fill with destructive behavior (whatever that might be).

4.  There is always a need for father advice that is given because of a desire for you to have the best life possible.

5.  The role of father-in-law and grandparent done right can have benefits far lasting benefits into one’s family life (and for generations to come).

6.  Being a father often means your child will develop their idea of their Heavenly Father based on their relationship on you. (Not to put any pressure on you, but this could get scary.)

Two of my favorite songs on fatherhood are both performed by Christian artist, Bob Carlisle, who has both a son and daughter. When it comes to the unique relationship between a father and daughter (as I know), the song “Butterfly Kisses” puts a lump in my throat. Here is part of the song:

With all that I’ve done wrong

I must have done something right

To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses

I couldn’t ask God for more

Man, this is what love is

I know I’ve gotta let her go

But I’ll always remember

Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses

I first became aware of the song “Father’s Love” in the movie, Jack Frost. Though I dearly loved my complicated father, our relationship never reached the level expressed in the chorus of this song. (He may have felt this way, but I never remember him expressing it.)

There is no power on earth like your father’s love

So big and so strong as your father’s love

A promise that’s sacred,

A promise from Heaven above

No matter where you go always know

You can depend on your father’s love

Scriptures provide many examples of both good and bad fatherhood, it also gives some worthwhile precepts about this endeavor. Below are a few of them:

a.  God considers the role of fatherhood so important that He is willing to step into His role (as protective Heavenly Father) when an earthly father is no longer available. (Psalms 10:14, 27:10, 68:5, James 1:2)

b.  A son makes his father joyful with intelligent actions. (Proverbs 10:1, 29:3)

c.  A father will encourage, comfort, and advise their prodigy in love. (I Thessalonians 2:11-12)

d.  Pick your battles. Do not expect perfect behavior from your children. That will upset you both when they fail. Speak to them in love, and treat them as you would want to be treated. (Ephesians 6:4)

An altered description of the word “father” given in the dictionary is a male who starts something. That is an excellent definition of what great fatherhood should be.

A worthwhile father can create so many great traits in their child-whether those qualities might be trust, loyalty, kindness, or love.

Any father has the ability to provide their offspring with all the emotional raw materials to become a responsible adult (along with God’s help).

Literally, godly fatherhood can be the difference between light and darkness. (Don’t think it is ever too late for fathering opportunities because it is never too late for any man to start the journey to wonderful parenting.)