A Hairy Situation

Garee from my men’s group (see Masculinity at its Best and Hard to Hear) called the “Holy Rollers” called me recently for my advice in a work situation. Garee was a stylist at Hair Works by Kendra on East Main Street in Bexley, OH.

Garee worked (and was friends) with a transgender male stylist named Ronnie (formerly Rhonda), who thought wearing tight pants to accentuate his family jewels was a great thing to do.  (Things became much clearer when he sweat in this area as the shop had no air condition.)

 Regular customers disagreed with him. They had complained about this vulgarity, and found other establishments to have their beauty needs taken care of at.

Though Ronnie was excellent at his position, the salon had lost money as a result of his visual choice. Garee was good friends with Ronnie. He had been there with him through the thick and thin of his sexual reassignment. The boss had nicely asked him to have a very frank discussion with Ronnie about customer’s complaints about him and his further shaky employment here in the near future.

Kendra’s did not have a formal dress code written down anywhere. The unwritten rule was if customers didn’t like it (affecting the salon’s income), things changed.

Ronnie had a rather tart personality, and Garee did not look forward to talking to him this afternoon. He knew his friend was going ask about the double standard for the skimpy female clothing in the salon. (Garee knew many of the female stylists had been confronted by Kendra.) Ronnie would also point out with no established dress code he could wear whatever he liked.

He would also point out there were other salons in town that adore his talent (and eccentric behavior). He could quit immediately if that would suit Kendra. Why hadn’t she come to talk to him personally if there was a problem?

Have you ever had to confront a friend out of concern (or because someone else had asked you to)? Is there nothing worse than being put in the middle of a very bad situation? It kind of makes you feel violated as a friend. No doubt about it that there are things in life that must be done though there is no enjoyment in the process. Are you a big enough person to step up, and come to terms with the reality of this issue?