What Not to Wear

It was one of my typical Saturday medicine runs to our nearby pharmacy. I was in leisure mode, and stepped out in my neighborhood in grungy clothing no man should wear out in public. I figured my outfit would be OK since the Pharmacy Technician would only see me from the shoulders up at a distance behind her drive-thru glass window.

The outfit I was wearing consisted of a worn white t-shirt (complete with a variety of tiny stains), and plaid pajama pants (in a variety of blue colors). The p.j.’s have an elastic waist with tie, and an open fly with no snap. The rubber navy blue sandals had a lime green insole. In so many words, I couldn’t put any more stylish clothing on my 329 pound frame.

Once I was at our closest Giant Eagle Pharmacy and someone on the opposite side of the window was retrieving my medicines, I looked at my left shoulder and noticed I was seeing the seams of my t-shirt. That wasn’t normal. The light finally clicked on in my head when I realized something I was wearing on the top half of my body was inside out. Things were no better on the right shoulder I noticed a quarter-size rip on the front shoulder of this lovely garment.

I was actually embarrassed I hoped no one had noticed any of this. Once I had gotten my medicine. I zoomed out of there (along with the three dog treats I’d been given for our Chihuahuas). Countless times my wife had asked me, “What is the purpose of me purchasing you nice clothes when you regularly dress like something that crawled out of our industrial-size trash can?”

My church (Eastside Community Church in Gahanna, OH) has a very laid-back vibe. Due to the consistent diabetic hot flashes I deal with regularly, I’m in shorts (during the summer) because they keep me cool. Sweats have elastic and stay in place on my ever-changing waistline during the winter. When it comes to God and my appearance in church, comfort is my choice but “inappropriate” is the overriding word.

When I do dress halfway decent, I always discover some kind of grease spot or stain at a time or place where I am powerless to make some kind of positive change in my appearance.

The one time I always look my best is at my job as a Greeter. My clothes are clean (but slightly wrinkled), face shaved (makes me look younger and feel better about myself), and hair is combed. The tan industrial-strength suspenders make me look like someone’s friendly grandpa.

(One’s pants staying up are a good thing. Suspenders allow for no movement in this department though they can cause an unpleasant sensation with the underwear.)

I think the moral of this post is quite clear. Take a quick look in the mirror over what you look like. You may be surprised what you catch that will prevent embarrassment much later. Though it may be a double standard for me to say this, dress correctly wherever you go.

A quick chore to wherever could turn into something you could never imagine (whether that happens to be good or bad). One day you may be the center of attention. How do you want people to describe what they see-“perfection” or “nasty-looking”? Think about it.