Say What You Mean

I’ve always been a big believer in the power of words. The catch phrases below have become so ingrained in the vocabulary of today’s society that they come out of our mouth without much thought as to whether we really mean that. With every rule there are exceptions. Some people know exactly what they are saying, and mean every word of it. For the vast number of people today, the words below are meaningless remnants from other that said them. Let’s investigate.

Sorry – The majority of the time when one person is uttering this to another individual, they really don’t mean. Society has taught them this is the right thing to do when someone else has been offended or inconvenienced.  Many times the one that offended has absolutely no idea why they are apologizing.  If a time machine could take them back to the event, the actions would remain the same.

How are you doing?- Though this question could occur anywhere, I discovered it to be prevalent in the churches I’ve attended.  In response to this question, most people wish to hear whether it’s the truth (or not), “Doing great!” This response makes most people feel like they have made a deep heart-to-heart connection in the congregation.

The next time that question is asked, give an honest answer. Notice the eyes wandering, fidgeting with the cell phone, or vague look in the eyes. An honest answer like this could get you labeled as a complainer or a whiner. Others will avoid you.

When “really” is added to “how do you REALLY feel?” You know this is a true friend that cares about you, and wants to know everything no matter how long it takes.

Could you do (whatever)  for me?- In my experience this statement may appear that there is a choice. You would be mistaken. This is a pleasant, socially acceptable way to inform you that you will do whatever. There is no option of “yes” or “no.”

Do you remember me? Someone in the grocery store flags you down. They say they know you from your childhood. They ask the above question. You have no memory of them. To save face and not appear forgetful, you ask several questions that could apply to anyone. Be honest, and tell the person you don’t remember them.

The next two statements can apply to both the religious and secular arena of death and funerals.

You are in my prayers.- This is a nice thing to say, but don’t repeat it unless you intend to do it. This is a commitment to God. Most people will have forgotten their promise by the end of the funeral service.

If there is anything I can do, please let me know. – This is something most people have been told to say at a funeral. If the grieving person took them up on their offer, irritation would be present.

This last one often happens in a marriage. Some spouses want total honesty from their significant other while others already know what they wish to hear.

How do I look in this? –This question usually occurs with a couple right before a social event of some kind. One person needs an honest opinion of the outfit their wearing. The other person knows two things, which may be confusing. If you lie and say that the outfit is adorable, arriving at the event on time will occur.

If you being dishonest about this clothing is discovered, there will be enough blaming and pain for everyone. If honesty prevails, and you express your displeasure about what’s being worn, chances are you will be late to the occasion. What’s to be done? Is truthfulness the right choice to make, or will a little white fib work?

It is important to be definite in what you say (James 5:12). Don’t communicate a sentiment unless you know what you are saying. Grow up, and be a person someone can trust the honesty of what you say.