People say there are two kinds of advice: The kind you shouldn’t
say, and the kind you shouldn’t give, but you do anyway. The brutally honest answer to this
question is that bluntness rarely happens because of what people might
think of you. Brutal honesty usually means pointing at someone’s flaws, which
isn't liked or acknowledged.
Some people aren’t prepared for bluntness. You will likely be
met with the disadvantages of anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, violence, and
deflection.
People with whom you have a positive relationship (and if the
right moment presents itself) can be open (but hesitant) to acknowledge their flaws. Having someone be blunt with you allows them to see things that you
cannot. We are all reflections of each other. That is why we grow with
new people we meet. Blunt people stretch us and pull us, and reflect
new parts of ourselves we wouldn’t have known about otherwise.
Such valuable feedback gives you new things to contemplate, poses
questions, and probes at deeply rooted behavior patterns. Being brutally honest
is neither good nor bad. It is simply a process, and you are either open to it
(or you are not). Being
able to express yourself honestly is a gift that not everyone has. You
have a high level of reality and confidence when you are
blunt. Here is the total picture of what a blunt person has to offer
a friendship:
Advantages of bluntness:
1.
Being
honest with others means that you are also that way with yourself. You do not
believe in living in a fantasy world. You can keep yourself grounded in
reality.
2.
Having
the ability to speak out your opinion without any hesitation may keep you
distant from stress. You do not end up bottling up things people do or say and
express yourself in the moment.
3.
People
do not tend to confront reality on an everyday basis, and that is exactly what
you put them through with your bluntness. It is natural that people avoid you.
A perk of your honesty is that you know that the few individuals who are truly
with you have accepted you for who you are, and you can rely on them.
4.
Voicing
your opinion devoid of any fear makes you a confident person. You do not think
about the inconsequential factors, and nothing can stop you from speaking up.
5.
You
also have the tendency to intimidate people when you are outspoken and blunt.
It apparently works to your advantage as people will think twice before
verbally messing with you.
6.
You
become an epitome of truth when you are outspoken and honest. Whether it’s
something as trivial as a dress color or an important life decision, people
count on you for your honest opinion.
Disadvantages
of bluntness:
1.
Being
straightforward can also get you into trouble as you often leave a wrong first
impression. People might find you arrogant and rude, and you may have to deal
with a whole lot of rumors about you.
2.
Bluntness
often costs you a social life. Outspoken people are often seen to be having
less number of friends than the polite ones. You may be highly misunderstood,
and may be avoided by your peers when you have a habit of giving blunt
opinions.
3. Outspokenness also implies that you
lack the patience to offer people a delightful opinion, and people tend to get
on your nerves more often. You get annoyed immediately with this attribute.
4.
Sugarcoating
things for your friend might be a difficult task for an honest person. This
might even offend your friend many a time. Blunt, honest people get into a
fight with their friends more often than the people who refrain from uttering
the truth.
5.
When
you are honest with everyone, it somehow gets you into thinking that others are
doing the same with you. It might be hard to digest that despite giving your
honest opinions, you might get dishonest reviews when you need the truth.
“Some
tools of thought are so blunt that they are almost useless. Others are so sharp
that they are dangerous. But the wise man will have the use of both kinds.” (Gregory Bateson)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“15 Things Only Blunt People Understand” by Francesca
Marinaro
·
“Pros
& Cons of Being A Brutally Honest Person That You Must Know” by Ask Opinion
·
“Snark” by Merriam-Webster
·
“The Pros and Cons of Brutal Honesty” by
Nicolas
Cole
Guess what? I am the
poster child for bluntness. Are you surprised?
 |
| Self-assured, confident, and blunt at my college graduation at Bob Jones University in Greenville, SC, with my younger sister, Kim. |
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