Dear Crohn’s Disease,
You’ve been a part of me for so long that it’s difficult for me to remember my life before you. You’ve challenged me, shaken me to the core, tested me, and taught me. You’ve pushed me to my limits, but grounded me at the same time. You’ve caused me to think about health in a whole different light. The stigma of living with you and the lack of education out there about what you are is still a surprise to me. You are so much more than a “bathroom” disease or a bad stomach ache. You demand constant attention and don’t care who has plans because you do things on your own timetable.
You perplex me because just when I think I’m in a good place, and have figured you out. You love to play hard to get, and rarely take my feelings into consideration. You test my patience, and have created a constant inner dialogue in my head since the moment the doctor opened up his mouth and uttered the words, “You have Crohn’s Disease.”
I will give you credit that you’ve responded well to medication, and have allowed me to keep my drug regimen in check the last nine years. I’m thankful you’ve enabled me to stay on Humira, and that I have yet to build an antibody to the drug even though I went off of it for three months while healing from my bowel resection surgery. You obviously love when I’m pregnant. You tempt me to want a huge family even though you’ve stricken me with several scary hospital stays, surgery, and tests. You stayed silent on my wedding day, and enabled me to become a mom without causing one complication. I am eternally grateful for that.
You’ve empowered me and brought clarity to my life about what’s important, and how far a compassionate heart can go. While most of the time I think of you as my greatest enemy. At times you’re also my greatest ally. You show me people’s true character, and who is a true friend. You shed light on which I can lean on when I’m too weak to stand on my own. You helped me navigate relationships and realize that my husband, Bobby, was the best person and caretaker a woman could ask for. When you decided to strike, I was a frail 21-year-old girl, fresh out of college, wondering how I was ever going to live a normal life and work full-time. In the last dozen years, you’ve been with me every step of the way, and witnessed firsthand how I’ve overcome each setback, each flare-up, all the scares and all the daily worries. I hope you’re scared of me now because I deserve many more years as both a wife and mother.
Natalie
“Crohn's doesn't define who
you are. You are a human being; you are special and a great addition to
society. Crohn's is just a part of your life. Try to be positive and proactive
- therein lies the solution. “(Mike
McCready)[i]
 |
| Natalie Hayden and family |
[i] Sources used:
·
“12 Years Later: A Letter to My Crohn's Disease” by Natalie Hayden
·
“An Interview
With My Husband on What It's Like Caring for a Wife With Crohn's” by Natalie Hayden
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