Here
are a few statistics on spanking:
·
94% of 3- and 4-year-olds have been
spanked at least once during the past year.
·
74% of mothers believe spanking is
acceptable for kids ages 1 to 3.
·
61% of parents condone spanking as a
"regular form of punishment" for young children.
The American Academy of Pediatrics defines “spanking” as "striking a child with an open hand on the buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior without causing physical injury.” Many parents spank their kids. Various factors increase the likelihood, which include geographic location (children in the South are spanked the most), family income (less money means more spanking), race (African-American mothers spank their children more than other ethnic groups) and religion (parents more fundamentalist in their religious beliefs spank more than those who are less so).
Along with lessons learned in childhood, many parents spank their kids for another simple reason: It stops children from doing whatever it is they're doing. The shock of the spanking coupled with time alone put an end to everyone's frustration. When safety is the issue, it's hard to dispute that spanking works. If spanking is merely a behavioral Band-Aid, why use it at all? For many parents, it's the quick solution—especially when they're dealing with an unruly toddler or preschooler, or when they're stressed out.
Some moms who've spanked their children agree that it was bad for them and how they wanted to relate to their kids. Maybe the question should be "Is it absolutely necessary?" It brings out the fact that your child is watching, waiting and learning from your decision, the answer seems clearly to just be no. As of 2014, up to 38 countries around the world have banned spanking. As a form of corporal punishment, it violates children’s human rights both in homes and schools. Below are five alternatives to spanking
1. Logical
consequences from letting things play out: If you tell your child they
won’t get to read any of their favorite books for a week that they’re throwing
around the room, as they lose access to those books it may help curb the
unwanted book-throwing in your home going forward.
2. Natural consequences: If your child refuses
to keep clothes on during a meal, let them know that they may get cold during
the meal, but are required to sit with family until everyone is done. Once
cold, they’ll learn a bit.
3. Set children up for success: Clearly we all know what
drains our kid the most (a lack of food, an over-scheduled day, or anxiety
about meeting new people) so work hard to have a strategy in place for
the inevitable tantrum or terrible wild-child behavior that will come
when you stretch your child during a day of travel or running errands. Also
modeling your own self-regulation over time will always help your child soak in
better ways to deal with conflict of any kind.
4. Taking away devices of
privilege: If a reward for your children is watching a show or playing with a
tablet or smartphone, consider having children earn that time by good
citizenship at home. If they have undesired behavior they lose access to those
30 minutes with their favorite screen.
5. Timeouts for both a
frustrated parent and/or child: Timeouts are hard to pull
off with a child under age 2 years. After age two, about 1 minute per year
of age for your child is a good duration for timeouts. Shorter timeouts may be
effective, but a 5 minute time out for a 3 year-old will likely fail as they
just won’t sit still that long.
“Teach children in a way that fits their
needs, and even when they are old, they will not leave the right path.” (Proverbs
22:6,
ERV)[i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“Don’t spank your children.
Do these 5 things instead” by Wendy Sue Swanson
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