Praying

“Be grateful for the things and people you have in your life. Things you take for granted someone else is praying for.” (Marlan Rico Lee)

Dear Family,

With this letter I am giving my resignation from house duties until there is firm evidence of mutual respect within the home. For years it has been assumed that I will be the one to pick up the dropped socks, transfer the dirty coffee cups from the table to the dishwasher, extract the remote control from between the sofa cushions, turn off lights, turn on the dishwasher, drop off the forgotten homework at school, and replace the toilet paper roll.

But I reached my breaking point this weekend. Everyone was amused when the dog found a strip of mango to eat. He played with it, and eventually puked all over the living room carpet.  That mess was left for me to clean up. I don’t mind cleaning the dog’s ears, or emptying cat litter. We have chosen to look after them. You are not my pets

I pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, tidy the garden, sort out the car, take the animals to the vet, prepare meals, plan holidays, and collect and wash the laundry. The list is endless. The house is like a business, and I run it well. Perhaps I created the situation as I mothered both infants and toddlers. I was building a family, and a home filled with love, tradition, and encouragement.

Look at you now. My husband has a growing career. My children are wonderful teenagers and young adults that are reaching their dreams. I love you all more than anything else in this world. But something went wrong because I became your maid (and chauffer). It became less of a joint venture, and more of an helper role. I became less the heart of the family, more the assumed caretaker.

You will protest that you do respect, honor, and love me. You will say with your hand over heart, that I am a fabulous mother (and wife). I am, but here’s the crux of it. We are a family. This is a multidimensional unit that lives in a mutually supportive way. I’m not leaving this family. I’m inviting you to step up and join in. Please, don’t take me for granted.

 My position is open for discussion, but never again will I assume the role of doing everything in this house. I need your help. I love to cook sometimes, but only when I have the time, or the inclination to do so. I have a life to live as well. Pizza is always an option. But someone else can place the order.

From Your Best Friend

“Being taken for granted is an unpleasant,  but sincere form of praise. Basically, the more reliable you are, and the less you complain the more likely you are to be taken for granted.” (Gretchen Rubin)

Adapted from: “A letter to … my family, who take me completely for granted” by the Guardian