The formal definition of nagging is harassing someone to do something. Nagging is experienced in everywhere when someone tries to dominate the other subconsciously, or while trying to get a point across. The nagger has coaxed, pestered, demanded, rephrased a request in many different ways ranging from sarcasm to ultimatums with trying to get what they want from the nagee.
Some parents fail to teach their children to deal with the consequences of the choices they make. Many faults that incite nagging can be directly traced to a bad upbringing: their stubbornness, insensitivity, and their selective hearing. Nags are never born. They are made.
Nagging begins in the mind where it slowly it finds a voice. In a relationship, patterns are set early, and it’s difficult to switch roles and chores later. Nagging is prompted when valid claims said (or unsaid) have not been responded to adequately. Here are some ideas as to why nagging is anything but encouraging someone to make a change:
1. Nagging creates resentment: Nagging
may produce an angry response in someone, and make them resent you. The chore
you are nagging about becomes the last thing they want to do.
2. Nagging is unpleasant, and gets your request ignored: No
one wants to hear the same old nag over again, and people will simply stop
listening. The more you nag. The less someone hears you.
3. Nagging is an ineffective negative reinforcement: Nagging
says, in effect, “I will stop punishing you with this annoying nagging when you
do what I want you to.” And the person being nagged feels that as soon as they
do one task to make you stop nagging, you will just nag about another one.
4. Nagging can make someone feel controlled, which no one
likes: Being nagged feels like you’re being manipulated, and tends
to make the “nagee” feel like digging in his or her heels instead of doing what
they are being nagged to do.
5. Nagging is simply words, which in the end are cheap
and mean nothing: Some individuals find it easy to ignore annoying words. They
have learned that it’s just talk, and you’ll eventually end up doing the task
yourself. .All they have to do is wait out the storm of words.
6. Nagging models behavior that you probably don’t want
in return: Nagging is something we can often give out but not receive. If you constantly nag, you may find that your others
will begin to communicate with you in the same way.
7. Nagging focuses on the negative of what a person is
not doing: Nagging implies all the negative things that are wrong with
the person. It says that they are not worthy because a certain task is not done.
Nagging is a way of finding fault, and it tends to wear people down instead of
build them up.
8. Nagging someone makes you act like a person’s parent: When
a person acts like someone’s parent an individual. This can hurt a friendship.
“The
constant nagging in your mind of undone things pulls you out of the present--tethers
you to a mind-set of the future so that you're never fully in the moment and
enjoying what's now.” (Daniel
Levitin) [i]
[i] Sources used:
·
“Nagging”
by Oxford Dictionaries
·
“No More Nagging: Why Nagging Doesn’t Work” by
Pichea Place
·
“The Real Meaning
of Nagging” by Team Lovepanky
No comments:
Post a Comment