Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Good and Bad

“True friends say good things behind your back and bad things to your face.” (Anonymous)

The Japanese have a term, kenzoku, which translated means "family." This word association suggests a bond between two people who are in a close relationship together that have a  intimate friendship with someone else (no matter the years or distance).

 
Aristotle once described a true friend as a “single soul dwelling in two bodies”  Do you have this in your life? There are certain habits that genuine friends possess, which create that indescribable bond of love. Below are eleven qualities that cement genuine friendships together.

 

1.   They call us out when we’re in the wrong: We all have flaws. Real friends identify them in a helpful manner for accountability’s sake. They’re able to point out some of the negative things you’re doing in addition to the positive. This gentle honesty is what really sets genuine friendships apart from the weaker ones. If it’s a real friend (someone you truly trust), they know they can tell you exactly what’s on their mind. People who are open and straightforward are some of the most important types of friends to have.

 

2.   They have our backs, even when life is difficult:, Close friends always step up and take the initiative  even if it’s something the other person may not want to hear. Supportiveness is crucial in friendships. Honesty isn’t always an easy thing, but it’s important to your bond. Being the best friend you can by being open always works out better.

 

3.   They keep our stress in check: One of the hallmarks of a long-lasting friendship is knowing what makes the other person tick. Genuine friends can sense pressure, and thereby assist in making better decisions. And even when we’re not looking for advice, their presence alone can calm us.

 

4.   They keep us humble: While genuine friends celebrate our accomplishments, they also remind us of our roots. Good friends will keep you in check to some degree and not let your head get oversized. They knew you before you made it big or achieved any accolades. They know the deep-down, base version of you. So not only will they support you when you succeed, but they remind you [of] where you came from.

5.   They make the friendship a priority: As time goes by, our days start to become more busy, we often become more unavailable. But real friends don’t let life interrupt the relationship. If you don’t purposefully make time to see those close friends, it can hinder the friendships overall and it’s one of the main reasons whythis kind of relationship  can go bad.

 

6.   They make us want to be better people: Real friends not only stick with us as we grow, but they also make us want to be better versions of ourselves. Friends aren’t just confidants, but role models. Through their kindness, genuine friends bring out the best in us. This is one of the greatest gifts they have to give

 

7.   They practice forgiveness: We all make judgment errors from time to time when it comes to our relationships. Genuine friendships know how to weather the storm. When conflicts come up, real friends have the courage to reach out directly rather than gossiping and letting irritations grow, Real friends understand, and because they understand they are capable of forgiving.

 

8.   They push us to be more accepting of ourselves: One of our greatest faults can be our negative self-criticism. True friends lift us up when we’re down. People feel better about themselves when they have close, supportive people in their lives..Our closest friends are the ones who beg to differ when our self-opinion starts getting low.

 

9.   They really listen: How many times have you tried to have a conversation with someone only for that person to turn the topic back to him or herself? Somehow the venting moments and the catch-up sessions aren’t quite as fulfilling. Conversations with real friends aren’t one-sided. Being able to have an open, two-way dialogue with someone improves the chances that the relationship is going to be stronger. The basic key to a balanced conversation is actively paying attention to the other person. People who are good listeners validate other people’s feelings. It shows that what they’re saying makes sense.

 

10.       They support us through adversity: It’s one thing to have friends who provide support during times of success. But genuine friends are there through all of our peaks and valleys (the grief, the joy, the failures and everything in between). To be able to know someone enough and to trust them enough to even allow them to support you through tough times is a sign of real friendships. The people who are in your life like that are about as close to family as you can get.

 

11.       They’re present: The greatest gift any friend could ever give is full attention. True friends make their presence a priority. A real friend stays present in the moment by paying attention to your needs along with theirs. One of the ways good friends live in the now is they put their cell phones away when they’re with you. A cell phone eliminates a personal connection with someone. Your best friend knows this, and will abide by this unspoken rule.

 

“Some people aren’t loyal to you. They are loyal to their need of you. Once their need changes,” (Anonymous)[i]




[i] Sources used:
·        “11 Signs of a Genuine Friendship” by Lindsay Holmes

·        “What Makes A True Friend” by Alex Lickerman M.D.

 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Everything

  “Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” (Saint Augustine) It shouldn’t be surprising th...