Friday, June 16, 2017

Nothing to Hide

Integrity gives you real freedom because you have nothing to fear since you have nothing to hide.” (Zig Ziglar)

Though you might hear the word “integrity” frequently, it’s not a word that people spend a lot of time thinking about. The root of integrity is about doing the right thing even when it’s not acknowledged by others (or convenient for you). You will find many examples of integrity in your everyday life (if you’ll look around you).

Resolving to adopt a lifestyle of integrity is a decision that will affect all aspects of your world. It all starts with a self-inventory to discover needs you're not currently fulfilling in your life and then deciding to change this. Successful people live with integrity by being transparent.

When you live with integrity, you motivate others with your words and your actions. People see your added value. If you will turn integrity habits below into part of who you are, you’ll be surprised with what will positively happen occur in every aspect of your life:

1.  Allow for proper influences and self imperfections: To increase your integrity, surround yourself with people you admire. What you feed your mind affects what you project outward. Your integrity in life is affected by your inputs. You don’t need to be perfect. Commit to make decisions to set things right. Do this in the small things, and you’ll find yourself improving your integrity and strengthening relationships.

2.  Anyone giving another person the benefit of the doubt when the circumstances are unclear: Modern life is more taxing and fast-paced than ever, and we suffer from stress on an ongoing basis. When we’re stressed, we're more likely to get defensive and blame others. But if each of us could learn to give people the benefit of the doubt across the board. One of the noblest behaviors you can engage in is to give someone the benefit of the doubt before rushing to judgment.

3.  Be honest in all your communications: People understand that life is filled with challenges. When you provide honest communication to others about your obligations and why something can (or can’t) happen in the time frame promised, they will most likely understand. Try to not overcommit to please others. This will lead to a loss of integrity and failed relationships.

4.  Develop positive habits: To develop positive habits, you first need to identify your bad habits. Take a few moments to list all of the bad habits of which you are aware. In some cases your bad habits might not appear to be a problem for you, but they are usually a problem for others.


Once you feel you have a completed list, go through each habit and write down the long term effects of sticking with this habit. Then, identify a positive habit which you are going to replace it with, and how.


 
5.  Drivers who (almost) never use the horn or drive aggressively: We all have to share the roads, no matter how annoying that reality might be. How you drive says a lot about you: how you treat people you don’t know; and how you handle anger. Driving in a cooperative manner that is mindful of your fellow commuters is actually a sign of integrity. Let’s all try to practice it more when we’re behind the wheel.

6.  Encourage others: By helping others, you help them to feel good about themselves, and you are also helping yourself by creating a healthy new relationship. You respect yourself by living in a manner which is consistent with your values.


These factors guide each decision that you make, thus allowing you to achieve more. You know that you can never truly succeed on your own so you offer the same level of respect to others. When you live with integrity, the possibilities are endless.


7.  Keep yourself and your environment clean and organized: It’s difficult to exercise influence in the other areas of your life if you don’t make the time every day to be self-aware of your environment. Do the little things that you have been meaning to do for yourself.

What's the fate of the one thing you're passionate about, but have been too busy to do while making a living? Organize the clutter and clear your slate by getting rid of the things around you that detract from your focus.

8.  Make better choices: You make thousands of decisions every day, some big but many small ones. The bigger decisions often get your full attention, allowing you to make a higher quality of decision. Do the small decisions get your full attention too? Usually not, but when you regularly make the wrong decision, it starts to add up to some big problems.

To ensure that you make better decisions on a daily basis, you need to have a clear vision for your life. You need to consistently remind yourself of your goals. When you do this, they are at the forefront of your mind. This allows you to make smarter decisions, which are consistent with the life you are trying to create for yourself.

9.  Make promises and keep them: When you do not follow through on your promises, you may fail at fulfilling your responsibilities. Be sensible in fulfilling your obligations in a timely manner. Make enough time to spend with loved ones. Enjoy life by not overcommittting yourself. It may not seem like a big thing when you fail to keep an agreement, but every time you break an agreement you erode a little of the trust between you and another person.

To live with integrity, requires that you keep your word so that you can build trustful relationships. One of the biggest mistakes that you can make when it comes to commitments is relying on your memory to keep track of your agreements. Instead of memory, you need a reliable system to record your commitments and the actions you need to take. That way, you don’t need to remember every single commitment; you just need to remember to check your system on a regular basis.

10.      Parents apologize to their offspring for their bad behavior towards them: Like animals, small children make easy targets. They’re physically vulnerable by size and stature, and they’re emotionally vulnerable because they don’t yet have the cognitive capacity to understand the complexities of life.

When parents feel overwhelmed, it often follows that they issue a too-harsh punishment at their children. Delivering an apology to your child when you’ve gone too far is something they deserve. This is sign of integrity. Parents should set aside their pride, and apologize more frequently to their children (no matter how old they are).

11.      Romantic partners who boycott vicious behaviors: At the most distorted end of the spectrum are the physical and sexual abusers; at the other end are the name-callers and angry, passive-aggressive types. Those couples that have problems with each other; but still manage to show a level of humanity and kindness are composed of romantic partners who show integrity in everyday life. May we all watch and learn from them.

12.      Stay focused: Have you ever noticed when your personal care vanishes that everything around you starts to slip as well? Finding the balance in your life to maintain yourself, your household, and your business is difficult.

 I have found that making lists and setting alarms on my phone or online calendar keep me on track even when the clock tries to get the best of me. Notifying people important to you (friends, family and colleagues) of your commitments will help keep you accountable.

13.      Supervisors highlighting their staffs’ accomplishments: Simply put, bosses with integrity have no need for power because they know they're good at what they do. They also have insight into the fact that they get better financial compensation than other workers. The good boss makes a constant effort to appreciate a staff’s contribution and to give them credit for a job well done. We desperately need more integrity from bosses far and wide.

14.      Volunteers: It shows a certain level of integrity to volunteer for a one-day stint here or there, but the steadier integrity is shown by those who commit to ongoing volunteer positions that require a real sacrifice of time. Cheers to volunteers who provide a service to their larger community (or to underprivileged strangers).

“If you don’t know your purpose, discover it, now. The core of your life is your purpose. Everything in your life (from your diet to your career) must be aligned with your purpose if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your purpose (your deepest desire) then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and detours.” (David Deida) [i]



[i] Sources used:
·       “5 Ways to Help Build Your Integrity” by Alice Martin

·       “7 Signs of People with Integrity” by Seth Meyers

·       “How to Live with Integrity; with 4 Simple Habits” (http://www.coachingpositiveperformance.com/live-with-integrity-4-simple-habits)

 

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